Helicopter Mom

Before I had a kid, I thought most moms were too overprotective about their kids. As an aunt, I threw my nephew Charlie up and around and he loved it. With Vivien, I am way more uptight. But I’m trying to be cognizant of not allowing her to get dramatic about her falls and trying not to interfere if she and another kid get in a tussle.

I know I got bloodied and bruised when I was kid. It was great to get my mom to kiss it and make it feel better and then go back to playing. You don’t want a wimpy crybaby kid, right? Well, maybe not. There is a new book Nation of Wimps that says too often parents are overprotective to a fault. How do you keep your kid from being a wimp?

9 thoughts on “Helicopter Mom

  1. I can’t agree more! I let my little man do his own things most of the time. I watch from a distance and swoop in at the last minute if things look they are going to get out of hand… 😀

    BTW: I like the site! and have subscribed!

  2. Helicopter parents beget more helicopter parents… because they freak the rest of us out so bad, we jump on our little ones so as not to offend the faint-hearted adults among us. I’m all for “get out…come back when it’s dark.”

  3. Right on, lassie. I too love NATION OF WIMPS. It’s my new bible and I blogged about it last wk over at Cookie magazine where I talk smack about momhood (plug plug). In all seriousness this is a cause quite close to my heart. We’ve got to stop this “hothouse parenting” trend. It’s lame-O! But it predominates in middle class culture. I for one, am kicking back from now on. i’m putting myself on a 12-step anti-hover program and hot damn i’m gonna stick to it! Keep spreading the word…doesn’t help us de-hover if the rest of mommymania is still as neurotic as all get-out.

  4. And the hovering doesn’t stop when the go to school.
    Several years ago now, there were a bunch of moms up in arms because the music teacher had the nerve to give the kids a test 2 days after the return from spring break. And many kids did not do well. These moms wanted to talk to the principal and make the teacher throw that test out and let the kids retake it. At some point one mom turned to me, (I had been doing such a good job keeping my mouth shut) and asked my opinion.
    I told them that it’s a THIRD GRADE MUSIC TEST

  5. And the hovering doesn’t stop when the go to school.
    Several years ago now, there were a bunch of moms up in arms because the music teacher had the nerve to give the kids a test 2 days after the return from spring break. And many kids did not do well. These moms wanted to talk to the principal and make the teacher throw that test out and let the kids retake it. At some point one mom turned to me, (I had been doing such a good job keeping my mouth shut) and asked my opinion.
    I told them that it’s a THIRD GRADE MUSIC TEST, NO ONE CARES! And to save their energy for when the come home drunk from prom!

  6. Confession of an ex helicopter mom:

    I learned my lesson when my son was two hours late home one day. I called all his friends. I called the police. I called my husband in a panic. I considered divorce when he wasn’t as worried as I was. His school friend Andy said I should go and see if he was up at the local arcade. Arcade? I didn’t even know my child was going to an arcade! What’s this, some secret life? I got in the car and drove, literally screaming all the way. Dry mouth panic. I ran up to the guard: “My son! My son is missing! Is he here?” The guard caught my panic: “What does he look like?” he said, eyes darting around the room. “Well, he’s got dark hair, brown eyes, he’s about this tall….” I said, holding my hand up to my son’s height. “Hang on,” said the guard, stopping in his tracks. “How tall?” (People: That would be six foot!). He just looked at me, deadpan and said: “Lady … Go home!” Okay, so my son was 15. But he was an only child, don’t you see! When my prodigal darling got back from the hairdresser (which I had completely forgotten I had told him to go to after school), he gently took me aside and told me I was never to embarrass him like that again and that from now on the new rule was that he would call if he was going to be later than 9pm. Apparently he was the only kid at school who had to call and tell his mother when people suggested hanging out after school. “Your MOM?” They’d all say, disparagingly (poor neglected babes!). So yes! Helicopter Moms = Bad. Bad for moms, that is. Because to tell the truth, the new rule was a RELIEF! I didn’t have to worry anymore and — guess what? — I didn’t.

  7. O.k…about the germs..I disagree. If your sick, or your childs sick..STAY HOME!! Running around with your sick children isn’t good for them or anyone else. There would be so many more healthy days for our kiddos if people would simply do the common courtesy of staying home when they are sick!

    Another thought…. ever thought about WHO all those germs are being spread too??? There are MANY people..children included out there with suppressed immune systems..they SURELY do not need to be exposed. Stay home PLEASE if your sick…whatever age you are.

    Seriously…something has simple as a cold and put some kids (with low suppressed immunities from a disease or cancer treatment) straight into the hospital…and the can die. I am sorry that I have actually seen this happen on many occasions.

    PLEASE stay home if you are sick, get well…

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