July 10, 2008
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Mother Instinct
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Okay, sit down for this one. I usually try to bang these vlogs out in under a minute, 'cause I know my attention span is pretty short. This one goes over 90 seconds - but it's fast-paced! And it's a triumphant mom story about how I learned, through my domestic odyssey, that we should not listen to others but follow our guts, our mom instinct, no matter how hare-brained or crack-pot it seems at the time. And ultimately, even when we are right, usually NO ONE will tell us we are, except ourselves.
I saw your ad on dooce.com and thought maybe this would be a similar site. It is not.
I'm not a hater. I have no idea who you are…no grudge. But, I do read a lot of blogs…a lot of the ones you have listed on your blog roll. The difference between yours and theirs is that there is some heart and guts to theirs. This site is hollow, with a very icky, manufactured, "produced" feel to it. Vegas-y. There should be rim-shots to accompany the "jokes."
Look at the vlog that got so many responses! The heart-felt one about 'what not to say.' That rang true. (But, dude, were you checking note cards to remember what to say on a minute and a half post?)
Wow, does life have to be so serious? These vlogs are a fun check in on this mom’s life. They're funny and make moms laugh and relate.
The reason "What not to say" had a lot of responses is b/c it a topic to talk about. When you talk with a friend and they make you laugh, they brighten your day. You think it, feel it but don't always say it. When you talk with a friend and they mention a serious topic you talk about it. Hence the responses to "What not to say."
Peggy, thank you so much for this. Since I know you are a funny mom I think we are on the same wave length. Liked your "does life have to be so serious?
Yes, my reaction too was sorry I don't have a dead baby to offer up every day .
That last line of Jessica's "dude, were you checking note cards to remember what to say on a minute and a half post" was so insensitive. Next time I talk about the hardest thing I've ever gone through- and try to do it without breaking down- I will be sure to speak extemporaneously, least Jessica find me hollow and icky.
Daphne, I guess my point was, your strength is not in the funny department.
Obviously I was not suggesting you should offer up a dead baby every day. What I was getting at was that even while you joked in a gallows humor way on the 'what not to say' vlog, it was heartfelt and had a completely different vibe than your "funny" vlogs.
It doesn't have to be gut-wrenching drama to be good. It just has to be honest. Lose the put-on 'I'm doing my stand-up shtick in my livingroom" crap and you might have something.
And, hey…this is coming from someone in your target audience. Stay-at-home-mom with three ankle-biters under 4 years old.
Daphne,
I must say that I too, found your honesty to be your best vlog. I too saw your ad on Dooce.com and thought that this site would be similar. It's not, and that's okay, but sometimes it appears as though your humor lacks honesty. You don't have to be "vegas" to be funny and real.
Not sure I appreciated the "we classroom moms gossip about non-classroom moms" thing either. You don't know what those moms are doing at home with their kids. Just because they don't show up for a 1/2 hour at school? Please. I doubt very much that those children will grow to be less of an individual than your child is simply because their mom wasn't there for 30 minutes a month. It's that type of attitude that makes driven, bread winning mothers who work hard to support the family by bringing the main income feel insufficient.
However, I see your point when it comes to involvement with a child's upbringing. (I'm a teacher.) I think this involvement can happen at home too though. My bitterness would perhaps have been ameliorated if you would have said you gossip about "moms and dads" who don't show up for 30 minutes a month.
But hey, to each her own. Just because your humor isn't MY kind of humor doesn't mean that it isn't humor that someone else might appreciate. Rock on wich chor vlog self.
Well, I found your blog through dooce too and it is different but if every website were the same would we even want to read them? I like your vlogs honestly!
I don't want to read a carbon copy. I want to read (watch) something good. To me, this isn't good. Because I found an ad for this site on the Queen Bee Blogger of Good's site, I thought I would find a similar quality (not same content) of writing and heart here. That was a stupid assumption on my part. I mean, it was a paid ad, not a link put there by Heather Armstrong.
This is good though, no, Daphne? No such thing as bad publicity or comments.
Good gawd women, lighten up! If you don't like the site, don't come back. Didn't your mamas teach you, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? And Jessica, if you don't like the site, why the heck are you commenting 3 times? Please go away, I don't enjoy your negativity. Personally, I think Daphne rocks!
S'up Doreen!
My Mom (actually, my Dad) taught me to call it like I see it. And I see a poser of the worst kind. Someone with enough money to generate the look of quality, but without the taste. The tofu of blogs.
If no one ever had anything negative to say, there would be no critical analysis of anything. While I admit that my comments could have been made in a less snarky fashion, I actually did give constructive criticism. More heart, less Vegas. Also, this site pisses me off in its badness. I'm returning only because I commented on this vlog. Not to do any further reading/watching.
While I equally don't enjoy your poor taste, I would never tell you to go away. That would be rude.
You think Daphne rocks. Cool. I'm sure there are people who feel similarly about the Ice Capades and Ginsu Knives. It doesn't help the quality of the product, though.
Jessica, I am but one performer/mom doing her thing. I'm not Oprah. Can you get off my back? If I am the David Hasselhoff of blogs to you then please go away. No one can please everyone. If a performer/writer or any stripe tries to anticipate and please everyone they are no where. The have lost your vision. Your mean spirited comment about my holding a post it note in my miscarriage vlog was so callous it made me cry. Perhaps you like being a net bully. I think the free form insults that abound online in general are distasteful and cowardly. Most wouldn't do that in person.
Many people love the Ice Capades and Ginsu Knives. What lovely company.
Jessica, given you’re a child of a transsexual (i.e., your comment “my mom, actually my dad”) I would have expected a bit more grace on your part. What’s up, is that I get your message that you don’t care for this site. Really don’t understand why you’ve got to belabor the point. Don’t care to hear why, unless you’d like to join me at the Ice Capades, followed by some sushi made with Ginsu knives, perhaps in Vegas?
Man! This is getting labor-intensive, so I'll make this my last comment. Promise.
Daphne,
First, don't knock Hasselhoff! He has the "most watched TV show in the world of all time, with over 1.1 billion viewers." Damn! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baywatch) I'm sure you could run an ad in there somewhere.
Second, I am sorry that my note card comment made you cry. I was trying to make a point about the inorganic nature of the site and was not making a commentary on your subject matter of a miscarriage. If nothing else you should know by now that, much to my own surprise, I LIKE that vlog. Sweet Christ…how many ways can I say that?
Finally, I am not a bully. I have opinions and I state them when I feel moved to do so, be it in a positive or negative fashion. But, the same way that I can ignore sites that make me roll my eyes and cringe, this is your sand box and you can close comments or delete me all together. Poof, I'm gone. So, why haven't you done so? Good publicity?
Doreen,
You are every bit as witty as Daphne, you clever thing. Vegas sounds awesome! I'll be there after I finish watching season 9 of Baywatch.
OK! Done. Draw and quarter me as you will.
Daphne, Love your site! I clicked on from Dooce. I love her site also. I like both sites because while delivery of a similar message for Moms, they are unique in their own rights. Jessica, while I'm sure owns credentials that make her feel she has the right to give constructive criticism, is nothing more than your typical Internet troll/bully. She just needs to move on and go bother the people that can take "God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance or something. My credentials, however, include that I AM a Mom and enjoy your vlogs. Your vlog on judging Moms who don't show up at class functions etc. kinda rubbed me wrong, because I'm guilty of not showing. Not by choice as I'm disabled and most events physically are just not possible, I go to as many as I can. But you weren't referring to me anyways. I think you were targeting the ones who don't give a hoot, make no effort and are too busy writing derogatory comments on blogs instead of using and devoting their efforts for less negative, more rewarding things like their kid's events. Keep up the good work and I look forward to visiting your site often.
Kelley and Doreen,
Thank you for sweet and funny comments. What publicity? this comment thread headed for the NY Times?
Doreen, you give good sass.
Kelley, I have heard from many who got "rubbed" the wrong way with the vlog about moms who don't show up to classes. I understand. I knew I was skirting the bitchy edge. There was one mom in particular who I ,of course, would never really "out", that has been the subject of the gossiping.
Also, I wanted to address the Judgmental Mom phenom. Which I can feel and have done. Just cause one is a mom doesn't mean one can't be a bitch. And I don't want to just highlight what I think our good parts of me — or moms in general– but also where our character flaws lie. So, that's what I was working on. I really appreciate your comments and coming to my site. And I commend you on being a mom while dealing with a disability. I have a lot of empathy for that and a lot of respect. That's a challenge!
I can't believe Jessica with three ankle biters under four has enough time and energy to write all these hypersnarky emails to Daphne.
I don't like Jessica's meanspirited and at times hateful approach but I think I understand a teeny bit the source of it. I live in LA and have encountered plenty of actresses and actors over the years, and there is almost always a touch (or much more) of inauthenticity when you are just having a normal conversation. It feels as if they never not acting.
I know Daphne is trying to entertain and be funny but I think most moms are looking for something more unvarnished. I'm only chiming in here because I think you have some very compelling things to say and have lots of ideas that will resonate with many many moms but it's the delivery at times that can be a little offputting.
Daphne,
I'm a little shocked that Jessica has that much time on her hands as well. I barely have time to breath and I only have 2! Anyway I just wanted to say that I enjoy your vlogs, they make me laugh and as a mother I can relate on both the funny and serious vlogs. Keep up the good work.
What would be the point of having different blogs if they were all the same anyway?
Jesus Lord Macaroni and Cheese, can we leave Daphne alone? The woman is funny, and last time I checked, she wasn't fishing for comedic timing & delivery advice. Let her be her damn self.
If you don't like the site, stop reading it. Easy enough for most people with basic reasoning skills, no?
what charities wont tell you, investigate before you donate.. before funding ANY charity. please visit. mrmcmed.org (learn how charities misspend research dollars) and pcrm.org, read what the march of dimes spends (30 million a year) your money on, thank you for your time. ps also, crt-online.org