Sexualized Teens

Once again, I visit the big gun in my arsenal – my mom. This is such a big issue for parents: how do you realistically protect your daughter from being too sexy? Is there an assualt from our media – I think so – or is this just our perception, since we are no longer the ones tramping around town? Morency, my mom, weighs in.

18 thoughts on “Sexualized Teens

  1. daphne,

    first, i LOVE you mom! thought i would share with this you as it echoes her last comment.

    when my daughter was in HS i was at a parent meeting and the moms were asking the admin why they were not stricter about the dress code with the girls. the frank answer from the administrator was, ‘look around the community at how many of the mom’s are dressing. how are we expected to police a dress code that the mom’s break themselves, let alone counsel their daughters.’

  2. Good stuff Amy. It’s always easier to wag the finger elsewhere. Although I am still trying to shield her. Today she asked me what I was doing when I was putting on mascara. I made it really clear that “old ladies do this”. She said, “not girls?” me: “no, little girls should never put on make up, only ladies.”. Her: okay.
    And thanks for props to my mom. I think I need to do more with her!

  3. I agree 100%. The media and retailers are trying to sexualize kids and those freaking Bratz dolls are a prime example. I agree with Amy that many moms are more concerned with being a “yummy mummy” and squeezing their post-partum ass into Seven jeans two sizes too small than making sure their seven-year old daughter’s skirt doesn’t say “Juicy” across the bottom. There has to be some balance- there isn’t a fine line between cute and working Hollywood and Highland. We just have to restore it.

  4. funny you should say Hollywood and Highland that’s the right near where I do work!! And it has been redeveloped so I think the hookers have moved to a different corner.
    but, well said, and by someone who is thinking sexy in the right way!

  5. When my daughter was in preschool one of her classmates turned up for school in a pair of shorts that had the word “CUTIE” emblazoned across the bottom. All be damned if the director of that school didn’t call the parent to inform them they either come bring a change of clothes or come pick their daughter up!

    She is still my hero for having the balls to do that – just like the school administrator Amy was talking about. It took guts to speak that truth!

    I think we ALL need to be strong on this. Bratz dolls, bootie banners, and bare midriffs are verbotten in this house. My mother was strict on this when I was a girl 5,000 years ago. I hated her then, but love her for it now.

  6. I found this site after coming across a few youtube videos, and have to say, I hope I can manage to raise any children I have in the future.

    One disagreement I felt the need to voice related to the first couple posts in response to this, regarding the parents asking school administration to enforce a stricter dress code.

    These administrators have to balance the fine line between what decent/acceptable in our schools and trying to avoid stifling students. It was not that long ago I was in high school (6 years…ok so that does feel like a good deal of time) and saw this play out. When a stricter dress code was enforced (almost to the point of uniform strict) a significant chunk of the students purposefully violated it. Not out of rebellion, but simply trying to show that it DOES balance out. Some girls will wear the skirts that have less material than whats under them, some guys will wear their shorts around their knees, but the large majority will usually find an acceptable medium between church-going clothing and working the street clothing.

    More importantly, the responsibility lies in the parent(s). If “Debbie” wants to wear the skimpier clothing, within reason, power to her, it’s her body, her choice. A child that has been raised to think independently and critically will wear what they are comfortable in, which is USUALLY clothing you and I would probably find acceptable.

  7. I completely and utterly butchered that first sentence. Being up until 3AM trying to complete a project while being fueled purely by an espresso machine that had to be moved to the office for the night does not help my proofreading abilities.

    That phrase should have read: “I hope I can manage to raise any children I have in the future with the same grace you somehow achieved”

  8. I think we all knew what you meant John- most moms are running on fumes and can read between the lines.

    Daphne- you’re so right, they have cleaned up H & H quite a bit. I always use it as an example though, just love how the streets roll off of my tongue. I’m loving these videos.

    Lynn- I love the director of your kid’s school! I have a sweatsuit with “London” across the ass but I only wear it at home. And when the in-laws visit.

  9. John, you make a good point, and thanks for the compliment. My espresso machine broke a few days ago and life hasn’t been the same since.
    I went to an alternative school with very few guidelines re: dress or much else and we were all pretty vanilla. But this was much longer than 6 years ago. I think part of this for me John is seeing how I see things differently from a non mom to mom of a daughter. I have a 14 year old stepson and I don’t have near the worry about him I would have if he was a girl. It’s so easy for a young woman to want to please boys and move to fast or be exploited even one who was brought up with good parenting. I think most moms, I know myself, are concerned about that, so giving them some limits seems appropriate.
    But, god knows what they will be into when my daughter is in Jr high.
    Thanks for finding the site.

  10. This is one of my favorite quotes by–of all people–Farrah Fawcett. “Most American woman would rather be pretty than smart because most American boys can SEE better than they can THINK.”

    Sadly, I think this is the driving force behind many young women and the mothers who are raising them–do whatever it takes to be socially popular, even if it means dressing trashy and engaging in inappropriate behavior. Any although I want to be respectful of John’s opinion, I’m going to have to disagree. Dressing with “luscious” across your backside doesn’t start in middle school–it is starting much earlier than that.
    It is starting in elementary schools and–last time I checked–most children that age DON’T buy their own clothes. Their parents are totally to blame for what they arrive at school wearing. I’m an active volunteer at our elementary school and, despite a dress code that requires the body to at least be covered, I have seen shirts that said “hottie” on a first grader and waaaayyyy too many pairs of little-girl panties peeking over the top of pants that don’t cover the front or the back adequately. Our school is pretty specific about shirts needing to be tucked in, so we DON’t see a lot of little boy underwear, but the pants still ride well below anything that resembles a waistline. I’ve never seen a child that age paying for their own fashion choices.
    By the time kids arrive a middle school they are much more aware of fashion and how dressing this way or that causes them to be perceived. Still, the majority of children at this age DO NOT buy their own clothes. If children didn’t have a drawer or a closet full of not-ready-for-readin’-writin’-and-‘rithmatic outfits, maybe the will have to choose from the clothes that are availble.
    And, once again, I will respectfully disagree with John about why kids will or won’t choose certain clothes–it certainly can’t be based on comfort. No one who has to hold on to the crotch of his jeans to walk or shuffle along the hall to keep from falling out of his tennis shoes can POSSIBLY be dressing for comfort. As for the young women–all I can say is that ONE bra strap falling off me drives me crazy–I don’t know what I’d do with the six or eight they routinely wear. The lowcut pants that dip in front or back–which are great for showing off the thong your mother bought you or your natural hair color–can’t be about comfort. It takes entirely too much energy to keep those trousers from going south in either the front or the back and requires at least half of the firing brain cells to figure out how to walk and sit without becoming naked. I’ve stood behind entirely too many young women at theme parks this summer where time in long lines was passed in pulling up their shorts in the back, tucking in their underwear, pulling up their shorts in the front, trying to keep the combined pressure of three spandex shirts for squirting their bosoms out of their clothes, pulling up their shorts in the back, pulling DOWN their shorts in the back, pushing there underwear down while trying to put it where it is supposed to be (where it really OUGHT NOT to be). Comfort? I don’t think so.
    Okay–I think I’m done. Comments welcome!

  11. rant away. I hear ya. I think it goes back to what my mom said about adult woman being the example. a friend of friend has to deal with her stepdaughters mother having a my space page that is virtually porn. Nice example to her daughter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.