August 14, 2008
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Married Sex vs. Single Sex
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I don't want to say there is no spanky fun going on here, but if anyone post child is still hitting it like they did pre child, please tell me your secret. What I really like now is hotel sex.
I need the psychological break from the surroundings where I am a MOM. Even a cheap motel can do the trick for feeling all good and slutty within the context of a committed relationship.
Soooo true. Which also makes getting it on often enough to have a second kid (or further reason not to get it on, depending on your perspective) a collossal challenge!!!
If it's not the "can't relax because i'm 'on duty'" aspect of it, it's the "i'm too freakin tired because in addition to that job i work full time at, and the big house we had to move into to accommodate our growing family, there's that child we both created demanding every ounce of my energy (and sometimes sucking my soul from my very body) so take a number buddy" issue. Happily, my hubby and i keep a sense of humor about it . . .and look forward to reconnecting in the nursing home. 
Perfectly said Lisa! It's wonder people are able to have multiple children. Just got a great email from one of my single go-go girlfriends about the hours of sex with her young man. I'm like, wow, I remember that ….
Boy can I relate! Pre-kid, only one word could describe our sex life, which would be….rabbits! You know, every man's fantasy of the professional boss of the boardroom by day & his little slut slave of the bedroom by night. Post-kid: not so much…at all! Our bedroom door lock is broken at the moment, which has reduced that to now nil! Can't do it, can't go there.
Recently, the kid went to Grandma's for a sleepover. I made one little reference that he "may" get lucky. WOW! He prepped for weeks in advance. Made a little trip to the adult video store, also picked me up a little helper friend/toys (taking great care to get just the right one), stopped by the liquor store to get supplies for just about every type of alcoholic drink I've ever tasted, so that if I got the urge, we'd have the drinks on hand for what ever mood I might be in. Went to the store for strawberries and whip cream. By the way, is watermelon an aphrodisiac? He says it is. Anyways, I on the other hand, thought out and prepared the most fantastic romantic dinner for two. I'm telling ya, I have never in my life had steak and shrimp taste so perfectly scrumptious! I even commented that they rated right up there with sex. Well ladies, the moment (ie climax) we've been waiting for……we both fell asleep from stuffing our faces. True story! I'm not going to be the one to tell him, but if he'd get the bedroom door lock fixed, his scoring opportunities would improve greatly.
Oh, I can so relate to this topic! Especially the door lock situation that Kelley mentioned! And I want you people to know that it doesn't end at toddlerhood–my kids are 12, 10 and 7! I will also say that there is a level of alcohol consumption that will lead to happy endings–but if you go even slightly over the line–ZZZZZZZ!
Kelley
HI-lar-i-ous. so real. I hate being part of a cliche. I think the hanky panky can def. happen if the kids are elsewhere. But eat after!
Two words: role play
Buy some slutty cheap lingerie from Fredericks of Hollywood or A Touch of Romance and pretend to be someone who didn't ask "Do you have to go poo poo?" thirty four times today.
Put on some vintage Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" to bring back that late 90s vibe if that does it for you.
I agree about the hotels. Take off that filthy top sheet though.
Oh Yeah! The slutty gear works every time! Sex and the Sippy made me laugh about the poo!
I told a friend about my wonderful dinner, because I still can't get over how good it was. She told me it was probably no better than any other meal I've made, but that I got to eat it hot and didn't have to share.
I have yet to try hotel sex! I still laugh at one night after the kids were asleep and we went at it. It was at least 3 am. The next day my 5 year old daughter comes up to me and says "Mommy , you an Daddy were making my bed shake last night!" with a scold on her face. The sex was great, but not earth shattering enough to move her 500 pound bunk bed from across the hall, ok!
Yes, role play and no parent talk are all good. I was thinking something similar this morning. that maybe once a month (I try to do it more than that, but sometimes it's going to be a maintenance session, let's face it) you have Whore Day where you throw off the flannels and wear lace bra and panties after having cleared the brush.
Wow, is this what your life has become………….. really bad ……….. Let yourself have a life. Get your husband to watch the kids every now and then and get out. These videos are really a wast of your time. I just happen to be looking for some good information for my wonderful wife and found these videos on itunes. I took a look and felt really sorry for what I can see has not been a very good life for you the last several years. Hope you get your life together and find a good use for it.