I’m Going To Have An Affair

As any pregnant woman or formerly pregnant woman can attest, your palate can be altered when you are pregnant. This pregnancy, I have not enjoyed much food – everything is sort of whatever. The few things I have really enjoyed eating are:

1. Breakfast wraps: scrambled eggs, cheese, crispy bacon, avocado and a smidge of tomatoes. I make versions of this at home.

2. Thin, low-grade cheeseburgers. Not the fat, juicy, hotel types, but the thin-patty, crispy-bun types. My favorite is Apple Pan, but Johnny Rockets can work in a pinch.

And now, the meal that had me thinking of cheating on my husband…

3. A ham sandwich. Not just any ham sandwich, but a sandwich of apricot-glazed smoked ham, tucked inside a soft baguette with bits of Brie cheese. I found myself thinking about it the way you think about a crush. It can also be compared to how you think after a rowdy night of sex with a new lover – your mind keeps drifting back, remembering the sweet moments.

So I drove back to Joan’s on Third to get another one of these delicious sandwiches. I also bought a half-pound of the ham for home (see the ham above, with some goat cheese tart left over from Viv’s party, some garbanzo bean salad – which had too much cumin – and grapes. My dinner last night.) The sandwich was still great. Honestly, the ham on its own was good, but I needed all the trappings – I needed the brie and bread as well. It’s like sex: sure, sex can be good, but you also need the massage, the wine, and the room service.

Gross Bathrooms

Mama is looking pregnant now!

Here’s one of the hidden secrets of parenthood: Gross bathrooms. Kind of like how no one told me I was going to bleed for a week after delivery. Funny, when the glossy magazines are going on about the “celebrity baby boom,” blood and filth in public restrooms seems to be missing from the “I love being a mom” PR spin.

Which Show Do You Want To Co-Host?

Okay, so I had my minute with Dr. Phil today, which was cool. Now, I’m very happy to be the host of a basic cable show, the Fashion Team on the TV guide channel (BTW, we are changing times this week to Sundays at 7pm).

Most people watch TV and are not on it. Daytime TV is a medium that people feel more emotionally connected to than most other types of shows. The demographic they are trying to hit is us – moms, parents, and people who either stay at home during the day or Tivo shows for later.

So here is my question:

If you could crawl in the box and be a co-host/sidekick for any of these big-time syndicated shows*, which show would it be and why?

I’ll tell you my pick when the results are in.

* Showbiz sidebar: the biggest bucks in the biz are in syndicated shows, be it talk shows or when “Friends” or “Two and Half Men” get syndicated. It’s major f— you money.

Food Mistakes

It’s always humbling when you realize as a parent you’ve screwed up. Hopefully, it’s something small and not bailing your kid out of jail. Reading a recent issue of the health section of the NY Times told me what I kind of already knew (and my mom kept telling me): that I shouldn’t ride Viv about eating food – any kind of food.

In the video, I say I’m going to link to a study about how picky eaters still get enough calories. I remembered it from my days with Dr. Dean Edell Radio Show. I couldn’t find it, so I emailed him. He said he no longer had it either, but he wrote me this: “The bottom line is, if kids don’t eat lunch at all, they make up for it at dinner… the daily caloric intake is very stable in kids but meal-to-meal is unstable… does that help?”

Take a listen to the other do’s and don’ts.

Mommy Vacation

Does this look like a vacation?  For a mom away from home, it can be (it’s me in Austin for Hillary last spring).

Clinton 2008

 

My husband has to go out of town for work all next week. So it got me thinking that before I get any LARGER and certainly before our crown prince is born, I need to take some trips. I cannot leave Viv for more than 2 and half days. I just don’t feel good about that, and I can only leave her at all if Mark or my sisters can be with her. So my thought is that when he comes back, I should take a trip. Especially since after February, I’m going to be one grounded momma for a while.

Here are my ideas; what do you think?

1) Go to a spa/fat farm up in Ojai or something like that. It’s nice to be out of the city. I did this when I was about 4 months pregnant with Vivien and it was great to take walks, talk with other ladies, and eat bran muffins and poached fish.

2) Don’t be idle and get a tan. In ’04, I went to Miami and campaigned for Kerry. I have a condo there (aka, the money pit, as I am one of those people whose mortgage is now more than the appraised value of my property). I have friends in Miami, and Florida is a crucial swing state. So I could go to Miami, knock on some doors for Obama, and get to take a few dips in the Atlantic. Campaigning is tiring, but fun. Just wonder if I can hack it in my present state. But when I think of a possible President Palin, I wet myself.

3) I haven’t come up with three: do you have any ideas?

Guess Who’s On Dr. Phil!

I’m thinking of starting my own cable show called “My Life On The G-List” (I wish I were D-list). Anyway, when you are on the G-list, once in a while you get a cool glimpse into the A-list life. Such was my experience on Dr. Phil. Watch it Monday. I have to say, as much as one can make cracks about the syndicated dynasties like Dr. Phil, he actually gave very good advice and the right take on the show I was on. But when you watch this, you’ll see that Dr. Phil was holding out on me.

And The Winner Is…

…No, not the Emmy Awards. I couldn’t watch more than 20 minutes – just wanted to see the clothes.

I’m talking about the winner of the 3rd Birthday Present award. Out of all of the super cool gifts Vivien got this week, so far the one that has made her the most gaga is this Music Box. It arrived this morning from her friend Mercy (via her mom, of course).  She was absolutely mesmerized by this good, old-fashion keepsake. Vivien insisted on taking it to school where many of the kids were also enchanted. It plays “Beautiful Dreamer” and is from Enchantmints.

Music Box

She also really liked the “decorate your own crown” from her friend Charlie as well as playing with the t-ball set with dad last night. But today, the music box has been kept near.

Can’t blame her. I still have my little log cabin music box I was given at about 5 or 6. I still get a kick out of it when I open it and it plays “Edelweiss.”

High School Reunion

Actually, mine was a Junior High/High School reunion because I’m a product of an LA public, magnet, alternative school. My handwriting might be akin to a serial killer’s, but I’m a skilled critical thinker and free spirit.

My reunion was not in a ballroom at the airport Radisson, like they usually are. Instead we had a potluck at a big, pretty park, organized on Facebook. The last reunion we had was at my mom’s house (site of many great parties, since my mom was the original “Cool Mom”) ten years ago.

Vivien had fun with the other kids, but the only thing I didn’t like was how hard it was to look good at a park picnic.

A Scar On Your Heart

As you may have seen in my video, I love reading the Sunday New York Times Style section. So when Viv went down for her nap post-birthday this Sunday, I dug in. I often enjoy the Modern Love essays, but this week’s provoked some tears. It was by a man whose wife had gone through a miscarriage. First it bugged me, because he and his wife didn’t seem that moved by finding out their son had died inside of her. But later on, the emotion is released.

Orchid

When I did a vlog – “What Not To Say” – about my own miscarriage, I was touched by the kind words people left. Many who have gone through the same sadness. The writer of the Times piece, David Hlavsa, experienced something similar when he told people at his work. He says people he barely knew told him about their own miscarriages. “Grief hauled about, and nowhere to put it down,” he wrote. Which I thought was beautiful and true. Like he writes, if one loses a parent, or spouse, anyone living, breathing, walking around, people have an idea how to treat you and you have a right to be really sad.

But, a miscarriage is a not-so-funny in-between. When we drove away from the doctor’s office, having found out our daughter’s heart had stopped at 14 and half weeks, I was sobbing great, big sobs. Like you do when you’re a kid, like the writer in the Times article described. As I sobbed, with Vivien strapped in the backseat to her car seat and Mark driving, I called my best friend, my family. “I have some very bad news, the baby is gone, she’s gone,” I sobbed, “There is no heartbeat.”

My dad was very sweet and said kind words. “I’m so sorry honey.” But after a few minutes he took a breath and said, “You gave me such a fright.” He went on, “Well, I thought something bad had happened to someone… to someone…” he hesitated, “To someone we have known longer.”

I had to smile a little. He had searched for the gentlest way to say it. “Yes, Dad, I know that would have been worse.” If something had happen to Vivien or my sisters, yes, it would have been catastrophic.

So, I think that’s what “grief hauled about and nowhere to put it down” means. It’s a scar on your heart, but one you tend to keep to yourself.

Weddings Ruin Friendships

Be aware, you are about to see a radical view of weddings here. I had my legal wedding in my living room, with 10 people. Fourteen months later, I had the big blowout variety, with 120 people. So I think that’s what started me thinking of this. That, and my own cynical attitude at others’ weddings. Tell me what you think.