My Big News

No, I’m not McCain’s running mate. No, I’m not 17, nor have I moved to Alaska. But, happily, I am…

PREGNANT!! We are thrilled. We have been waiting to talk about it until we got past the point that we lost our pregnancy last year. That was at 14 and half weeks, and after the CVS had said the baby was healthy and a girl. I am now 16 weeks, the CVS is showing all good and it’s a boy! I pray, affirm, chant, whatever works, that this baby will be born healthy.

Mark and I feel like we can finally be happy about it. A few weeks ago when I asked Mark about names, he looked dire and said he wouldn’t discuss it until after 15 weeks. I completely understood. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, either. Although now, even though we are not out of the woods, our hopes are way up.

My stepchildren have been really cool. My stepdaughter, in particular, expressed excitement, which makes me feel good, since I still half-expect to be rejected by them (due to my own anxieties, not because of anything they say or do). Vivien isn’t totally connected to what is happening, but she has said a few times, “I’m going to have a baby brother!”

I’m trying to relax my anxiety. I’m thinking seriously of seeing a therapist, since every time I have a check-up, I start crying because I’m so afraid that once again the ultrasound will show that there is no heartbeat. I have to get a grip. And covet this joy.

22 thoughts on “My Big News

  1. CONGRATS!! You look gorgeous as always but that bump is sooo cute. And the dress is amaaaazing!

    When I got pregnant after my miscarriage, I saw a therapist. SO glad I did because it was a rocky pregnancy. My therapist was the only way I could stay sane. And when I was on bedrest, we had phone sessions. She really helped me to learn to cope with pregnancy after miscarriage and find ways to stay calm. I highly recommend doing this so you can enjoy this time, rather than obsess over the what ifs. Have a wonderful pregnancy!

  2. I was just getting ready to write the same thing that Mutha Mae wrote above. So i guess this is a pretty common experience. My therapist helped me through my successful pregnancy following a miscarriage AND got me through some pretty bad post-partum depression. I hadn’t expected how rough the depression was going to be, so the fact that we’d already covered a lot of groundwork before the baby came really helped a lot. It’s been 6 years and I still use some of the cognitive therapy tips that she gave me when my life in general gets stressful. Many congrats!

  3. Congratulations!

    I could kind of tell in one of your videos that you might be pregnant (the lunch one), but I wasn’t going to comment in case you were sensitive about gaining weight.

    Anyway, first time commenter who watches/reads you daily.

  4. Super News!! Congrats!! I couldn’t be happier for you guys. So what does this make the due date? I’m horrible at math and counting by weeks never did work for me. I liked counting by months for the smaller kids, and of course now we go by years. poo
    Congrats Daphne!

  5. Daphne, congratulations! What a great, sweet picture of you, you look so happy.

    I have a much bigger belly than you, and I am NOT pregnant. I guess I’d better get to work on that.

  6. What loving sweet messages!! thank you all so much. I could cry.
    I really appreciate the therapy advice, I need to work on that, cause I know when I am going to more ultrasound appointments that is when the anxiety really kicks in.
    Yes, my gut in the lunch video alarmed me and I knew it wasn’t from fat, but it was still a shocker! Today I am wearing the cutest dress from work. must take a picture of it. you would never know in it. just shows you how important the right clothes are.
    oh, my due date is Feb 21st.

  7. oh, and that dress is practically my housecoat. it’s from Veronica M, from 3 years ago. It’s the comfy mom dress when I want to look somewhat like a girl.

  8. ah, thanks! Just when I wishing I could install a make up woman in my closet every morning.
    Thank you all for prayers and well wishing!!!
    listening Carpenters right now…think I might cry.

  9. Congrats, Daphne! That’s wonderful news. Yes, I think you should see a therapist. Someone who is skilled in this issue, if you can find them. But, geeeeeez. It’s LA, so isn’t there a shrink on every corner. Hangin out by the bathroom at Starbucks?

    I have a client who is also pregnant and the entire experience is being marred by her sometimes rational and sometimes irrational fears. I fear that her prenatal anxiety will morph into full-blown post-partum depression. Talk it out and try to find a way to deal with these very real, very understandable emotions.

    And smile. GOOD FOR YOU!

  10. OMG. This explains why you were not happy with the new haircut. Nothing to do with hair, babe, just hormones (and I still love the hair BTW)

    I am so happy for you. And I know that feeling of worry after a miscarriage. Try to breath and relax. Miscarraiges happen and healthy wonderful babies are born after them.

    And then before you turn around they have sideburns and hairy legs and are getting their learner’s permit next tuesday!!

    crying! i have never been so happy for the pregnancy of someone i never met (sort of)

  11. Congratulations! Getting pregnant after a miscarriage is both a blessing and a curse. You are thrilled, yet aprehensive about the experience. Been there done that. Personally, I had a hard time “getting into” the pregnancy until after 20+ weeks because I was scared of another loss and felt like I needed to be mentally prepared. Now, here I am, two days shy of my due date, STILL in awe of the miracle of life and haven’t completely decided on names. :) Best wishes for a healthy baby!

  12. Congratulations! Your story is so similar to what I’m still going through: I was very stressed out when I got pregnant after I miscarried- especially when I started spotting at 6 weeks, the same point that I miscarried last time. THANKFULLY, this time the spotting was not the baby, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. But, even when I got past the first trimester, I never really stopped worrying!

    I’m about to enter my third trimester, and it’s the same time of year that I lost the last one- I still worry. I mentioned this to a friend who lost her first baby (and went on to have a gorgeous little boy), and she affirmed my feelings. In fact, she volunteers at a support group for bereaved parents as her way of healing, and they have a sub-group for parents who are expecting again after loss. I went once, and it was helpful.

    So hang in there, and know that we’re rooting for you (and praying for you)!

  13. Ah, what a bunch of sweet people.
    MJ, if I spotted I think I would have a heart attack. I get the most nervous at doctors appointment. But today I had a few minutes of feeling so good that I freaked. Best wishes to you to and other moms to be. Great your friend works with other parents, that’s beautiful, boy would that be tough.

  14. Hey Daphne,

    Congratulations! Being pregnant I bawled my eyes out when I watched your vlog on “What not to say”. I’ve never miscarried but I really felt for you when I watched it. So I’m soooo happy for you now. And it’s nice to see you have a little tummy going on too. I am 17 weeks (due 02-18-09) and I’m starting to feel like a whale. Anyway keep up the good work and best of luck to you and your family.

  15. Thanks Danielle, so sweet. We are days apart due date wise! Hang on cause you are really going to whale up! Just remember it’s a temporary. Embrace the girth. I think, okay, I’m gong to miss two seasons of fashion, okay. Best wishes to you too!

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