Blended Family

Hey stepparents! Some of you have mentioned that you’d like me to address our delicate family position a bit more. Well, here’s something to gnaw on.

This is how one aspect of the blended family affects our own children. It is important also to note how Vivien is improving my new haircut.

6 thoughts on “Blended Family

  1. This was so great to hear from someone else. Although the divorce rate is high and you’d think that there would be tons of blended families, we know hardly any and so the issues we deal with aren’t talked about much.

    My 3.5 year old daughter really misses her 8 year old sister when she goes back to her “other house”. What makes it even harder is that they share a room when she’s with us. So now my daughter has been saying that she doesn’t want to sleep alone when her sister’s not around.

  2. Nicola, thanks for that. that’s great though that they share a room. It’s funny cause before I was in this position I would have thought I would be like, “yeah, kid go to your mom’s, scram.” but you feel like more of a family being altogether.

    yes, Viv is a great hair dresser

  3. Daphne:
    Congrats on your pregnancy! We keep going back and forth about having another one. The fact that sometimes we have one and sometimes we have two has played into the decision. Can I handle it if we go to “sometimes we have two and sometimes we have THREE”?! I’ll tell you that we are leaning in the direction these days of giving it another shot, partly because we see Lindsay’s reaction when Ella leaves and we think she’d really enjoy having another sibling who is around all the time.

    Blended families is a very interesting thing. I remember saying at one point in my life that I would never want to be a step-parent because I thought it would be the hardest role. Well, it’s very rewarding, but it does come with some challenges, but definitely not nearly as hard as I had imagined. We’ve become our own family and the unit changes a bit depending on who is in the house on what days! :)
    Nicola

  4. As a stepmom, that was a reality I hadn’t considered. He left every other weekend as long as she can remember. Suddenly, one day, when she was 2, he got out of the car and she began to cry. She’d been holding those tears in for years.

    She’s 10 now. he’s in college. She’s still having a hard time, but we talk.

    There are lots of things I didn’t consider when entering into a blended family.

  5. Here’s an odd angle I experienced. My story may be lengthy. I was one of the three stepchildren growing up that would go and stay with dad, stepmom and three younger half-siblings on the weekends. What you expressed about not bringing up the animosity and giving the kids time with their dad…all that, that is exactly how my stepmom was/is, always loving, always inclusive, making the best out of it. I always felt that I was part of the whole family when I was there. My mom’s family was a family of four, my dad’s family was a family of 8. I never gave much thought to what happened after I left and wasn’t there during the week. Maybe I’m a bit clueless sometimes, but when I was 25 I happened upon a scrapbook my halfsister who is 3 years younger than me made for my “parents” (dad and stepmom) from her wedding. It was so sweet as I looked through it. But then I realized that it was all pictures of the 5 of them-the whole thing-my dad, stepmom, and 3 younger half-siblings. I was bothered by it at first. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I felt kind of like the third wheel. Again, this book wasn’t out for all to see, I found it in a stack of other books in the basement family room. It was special memories of my sister. But it gave me perspective I never saw on what my sister’s life was like. The five of them WERE a family when we went home. For some reason I felt that their lives just paused until the next weekend or something. I don’t know, but it was a weird. I wasn’t hurt by it, but it gave me a better understanding of my sister for sure. Not bad, but good.

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