Moving to Canada

I think leftist political shows are usually funnier than right-wing parodies. The Daily Show versus that show on Fox for example.

But leftists as individuals can be a really humorless lot, taking themselves WAY to seriously. If anyone has seen Janeane Garofalo in the last couple of years, you know what I mean. So sometimes I think lefties need the piss taken out of them. As someone who grew up in alternative (hippie) schools, snacked on rice cakes, and still likes a swig of soy milk for comfort, I think I’m in a perfect position to do the skewering. Here is an attempt.

3 thoughts on “Moving to Canada

  1. As usual,your video gave me a kick…love your sense of humour!

    As a Canadian,I’m here to give anyone who’s seriously thinking of moving up here a head’s UP! about a few quirks we Canadians have…

    - we spell FAR too man perfectly nice words with ‘u’…humour, favour, candour, clamour, colour, demeanour, endeavour, favourite, flavour…and the list goes on and on and on…we’re U’ed right to death up here.

    - we pronounce Lieutenant as ‘Lef-ten-ant’…don’t ask me why

    -we stop and let other cars in. Yep.We do.

    - there’s a Tim Horton’s on EVERY corner in every city (and every town)…almost. So if you’re stuck on Starbuck’s,well,you’ll have to adjust…. (unless you’re going to live in Toronto) – It is LA North, after all. Torontonians are a breed apart.

    -We never complain about lineups…we just stand quietly and wait our turn…we only bi*ch ‘n complain over coffee with our friends at the neighbourhood Tim Horton’s…rarely to the person CAUSING our distress. We REALLY are REALLY nice. Sickeningly nice.

    - we hold doors open for folks,and if we even think we MIGHT have bumped someone with our purse…BOTH people say “I’m sorry”…really.

    - our politics suck just as much as you think yours do! And our politicians are rarely glamourous…except Belinda Stronach and the Governor General…and Trudeau,but he’s in heaven (or wherever it is politicians go)

    -you’ll have to get used to Queen Elizabeth as your Head of State…and you are NOT allowed to laugh at her suits and hats… ( shoes?…..maybe)

    Those are the highlights (or the lowlights,depending on your point-of-view)

    ….oh,and by the way,if you’re used to nipping around to the corner store for a late night bottle of merlot…forget it. The government has that locked up for your own good (and their pockets – they’re not fools). Buy it like everyone else,when the liquor commission opens at 10am.

  2. Jennifer, great lowdown on Canada. I spent a semester in Toronto ( a million years ago). Canadians are nice. I’ll never forgot going to a bar/club by myself in Montreal and I sat there, alone, feeling lonely and a nice woman turned to me and said, “isn’t funny how we are all in this room together yet, no one is talking to anyone?” She and her friend befriended me for the night and became my buddies. would NEVER happen in California.

  3. Hilarious!!! And I loved the lowdown on Canada as well.

    UGH. Our politicians are BOOOORING. Do you know how many people I know that now want to move to the states because they’ve got crushes on OBama….

    And also, I think the idea of what liberals are varies from country to country. Most American “liberal” ideas would be far right to us! You’d think we’re a bunch of commies!

    Seriously, though. It’s freaking cold out here…worst winter EVER.

    Gotta go, there’s bound to be someone around here I have to apologize to.

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