Bully Kids

Can you control your anger when another kid is mean to your kid? Would you be able to control your anger if no one else was watching? Do you wish you could say, “Hey, saggy pants, you want to take this outside?” I wish I were an animator; I could do something funny with that.

The sounds in the background are a teacher leading some 5-year-olds through a class… I didn’t notice any bullies, though.

7 thoughts on “Bully Kids

  1. LOL…I know EXACTLY how you feel! It’s especially bad when a mom/nanny is nearby and totally out of it. That’s when I take the “it takes a village” approach. I don’t feel the least bit bad parenting other children, if no one else is around to do it. Sometimes I even can work up the nerve if another parent IS around but not helping saying things like “Can you think of a nicer way to say that?” or “I’ll bet you know can share that when you are done with it”, etc.

    The only time I’ve really had to hold myself back against a kid (about 8 years old) was when he called my 4 year old daughter fat to her face (she still is a litte softy but not really even chubby) and I could tell it really hurt her feelings. The mom just stood by and laughed as though her (mean, little, brat of a child) had said something witty. I did defend and marched right up to the kid, and loudly said, “That was a very mean thing to say! I thought you were nicer than that!” Then we, my daughter and I walked away while I assured her that she is perfect the way she is.

    AHHHHHH…just thinking about that now makes me see red!

  2. Hey, Daphne. Been away ages…evacuated from Hurricane Ike. Nice to finally be back and catch up on your posts.

    Anyhoo. A story I’m publicly not proud of but privately revel in:

    When Frannie was barely 3 she was at a mother’s day out group at a CHURCH! On the playground was a nasty little 5 year old who picked on her, scratched her, and said mean things to her when the “teachers” were not looking. She was very sneaky about it. I spoke with them on many occasions when Frannie would fill me in on the day’s horrific events with the 5 year old. Yet it persisted. Nothing was done.

    So, one day, I came early. Kids are on the playground, “teachers” are sitting on their wide butts yaking away. I find Frannie pinned to the wall by the devil child (whose back was to me). As I quietly approached noting the tears in my daughers eyes, I heard the devil child telling her that she was ugly and stupid and she was going to scratch her face.

    I snuck up and gently placed my mouth to the devil-child’s ear and whispered thusly: “if you ever talk to my child, touch my child, or even look at my child again, I am going to pull your head off. Ok? (big sweet smile on my face).

    Problem solved.

    Yeah. I know. Horrible. Whatever.

  3. Lynne!
    My mother told me this great story (horrible really) about a 10 year old in the neighborhood who would call our house and say rude things. One night she answered in a different voice, “Keep an eye on your baby brother. I am coming over to strangle him.” Or something equally awful. Then, when that child was in the neighborhood playing with us she casually mentioned she went to answer the phone and she saw a ghost in the chair by the phone and it was hanging in mid-air.
    I was like 5 so I don’t remember but she said this kid turned white. My mom was so proud of that story. But from such a mind came other ways to keep her own kids in line. Don’t get me started on stories about La LLorona!

    Love your site Daphne!

  4. How timely this video was for me!!! Over the weekend, my husband Tony and I took our 4-yr-old Alex to a huge pumpkin patch / playground where there were tons of kids. A church group was there (I feel your pain, Lynne!) and one boy, about 9 or 10, wearing his Praise the Lord t-shirt, went out of his way to push, trip and fall on Alex in the inflatable jumping toys. We didn’t intervene, because Alex is such a good-natured little guy that he laughed it off, even said “Good one!” to the boy, no idea that the boy was bullying him.

    Later, inside a giant inflatable crocodile, the big boy found an accomplice and they were waiting at the top of a very high slide. The big boy saw Alex and he said, “Here he comes! Let’s push him HARD!” My dear wonderful soft-spoken husband, who’d been watching with me the whole time, calmly leaned forward into the crocodile, made eye contact, and said, “Oh. No. You. Will. NOT.” Immediately the two slid down and out the crocodile’s mouth and we didn’t see them again for the rest of our visit. Tony was waiting for some parent to come raise cain, but it never happened.

    I’ve always been the type of parent to re-direct my child away from the bully, as I truly felt that it wasn’t MY place to tell another person’s child how to behave. Now I see that it’s not stepping over that boundary to protect my own child when things have gotten out of hand. Alex may not have been bothered by the earlier roughhousing, but two kids pushing him down that slide might really have injured him.

  5. Bully’s are the worst! My kids are just getting into school and noticing that a few kids in their class dont have many friends. Its those kids that get bullied. I try to get my kids to be the friend to the ones that dont have friends. No problems yet cross my fingers!
    Great site, funny

  6. thanks everyone for great comments. I am getting mad at the little brats just hearing them! Stephanie, think you were right on, kid learned his lesson.
    it’s funny that I think we are all afraid to have a throw down with another parent who is not doing their job well, when maybe a good old confrontation would be appropriate.
    I’m all for little tussles to take place– like what happens btw siblings, figuring out whose toy it is, etc. But, when a bigger, meaner kid is on a rampage, forget it.

  7. This video has just explained a scenario I had today with my girls. While my oldest was playing down the street with her friend, my youngest was getting anxious to join them so I told her to run on.

    Kyleigh is 6 and E’owyne (A-O-win) is 5. We have many neighborhood children ranging in age from elementary to middle school. But there is one little girl, around 9 or 10 I would say that I have already had the pleasure of running across when her parents are not around. She has a sailors mouth of the worst kind and is so rude, disrespectful and mean it’s hard for me to believe she’s a child.

    Anytime I have watched her interact with my girls she’s this way! Today, she rode up with a friend of hers and began telling my oldest daughter that her clothes were ugly, then began to comment on my daughters friend’s stuffed animal they were playing with. As she saw my youngest daughter ride up on her bike, she began to comment on how ugly her bike was saying the most awful things!

    I couldn’t believe this kid! No! MY children are not perfect little angels, they fight, don’t clean their rooms, and are known to get into things, BUT they are not rude, mean or hateful.

    In so many ways I wanted to open my mouth to this little girls, but I offered the girls and friend to come back to the house and play in a more comfortable environment. They caught on to what I was saying and gladly moved the fun.

    Does anyone think this was wrong of me? Should I have allowed my daughters to fight for themselves?

    I can’t help but think that if I were to go knocking on this kids door to say something to her parents that they would be bigger jerks than her! (oops, did I say that?) teehee

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