Bracing for the New Baby

As my girth enlarges, I’m starting to get a tad bit of new-baby dread. Here’s what I’m thinking about:

1) Worrying that he is healthy. The mind, goes doesn’t it? I was lying in bed last night rubbing my belly, sending him good vibes and chants of “healthy, healthy.”

Big yawn
Creative Commons License photo credit: davef3138

2) Vaccinations. Going through the shots again! I learned with Vivien that I really had to sack up for those. And since I’m having a boy, I’m more freaked out about the whole autism/shot link.

3) Choking. I’m so in preschooler comfort-zone that I kind of forgot until last night about the choking thing. Mashing up food in tiny, tiny amounts, and spooning it in. I saw a little bracelet Viv was given on the floor last night, and since bending over is not my strong suit these days, I left it. ┬áThen I thought, wait! Soon I will have to clear the decks of all little bits, as Junior will be jamming it all in his mouth.

4) C-section recovery. Particularly those first two hours, when I felt like I was sliding off the face of the earth. Pretty uncomfortable.  Not acute pain, but unpleasant. I had planned to have a vaginal delivery the first time, so I had a nice doula who held my hand and that really helped during the transition back to earth as my family ran around with excitement, which at that moment I could not share. When my sister had her C-section, she seemed so happy afterwards. Hmm, I missed that gene. Should I have the doula again? Does it make sense to have one just for two hours?

I’m sure other worries will come…

10 thoughts on “Bracing for the New Baby

  1. It’s actually good you are worried about these things. I get worried when my pregnant friends DON’T worry!

    I’d say yes to the Doula. C Section recovery is difficult, especially when you were hoping for a vaginal delivery. Maybe that’s part of why it was harder on you the first time. This time you know it’s coming, you know what to expect, you know what the pain will be like, and maybe you will go into it with lower expectations. Maybe those low expectations will make you enjoy the experience more? OR maybe it will make it easier to handle not feeling that happy glowing feeling that you think you’re supposed to have after giving birth. I don’t get that because I didn’t have it with either of my births and one was vaginal. I just felt tired and freaked out. I was envious of the women who bounced back so quickly. I think we need more women out there saying that sometimes you don’t get that glow and sometimes it just plain sucks.

    I can say from my experience that having a baby was easier the second time around and I bet it will be for you as well. I was so much more relaxed because I kind of knew what I was doing. There wasn’t much mystery. We came home and fell into the old routine again. Each stage was easier to handle because we knew what was coming. What’s hard now is wondering what’s next with my older child! The babies are easy!

    But yes to the doula because there will be the added stress of worrying about your daughter and her feelings and transitioning her to big sister status. Having a doula and her support will be mean someone extra to just help you through the pain and worry of birth so you can concentrate on that. I know I worried constantly during birth about the bigger sister. She was fine! But that’s another troubling emotion to deal with!

    It’s been fun to follow your journey! Take care.

  2. I was channel surfing the other day, something I rarely do, and stopped as I recognized a familiar face. I sat there watching, racking my brain as to who this was. I knew the voice and initmate details about her life. She was a friend…then I started to laugh as I realized it was you! An internet ‘friend’ who I have so much in common with, yet someone who wouldn’t know me from Eve if we were in the same room.

    What crazy lives we have where strangers are our ‘friends’. And how does that change the definition of ‘friend’.

    Although, I have to say that were I to move back to the LA area, I might just invite you out to a cup of coffee…

    Then again, I haven’t even been able to get together w/ my live, in-person best friend for about 4 weeks…so, you know…

    As far as this baby stuff, I’ve finally gotten over the whole worry thing and now have vivid dreams about actually holding my baby and what he looks like.

    I am considering a doula this time. My mom was always there for my other deliveries and, having had 8 kids, was an incredible support. But I don’t think she’ll be able to come out this time. I mostly want a woman there who will be on my side and understand from a female point of view what’s going on. I guess I don’t want to put to much pressure on my H to have to ‘solve’ any problems (you know that’s what guys do) or to feel that he, alone, has to support me emotionally when I know watching the whole thing is a lot for him too. (Do I make any sense or am I just jabbering?)
    Anyway…point is…talk w/ your H and see what he wants and don’t let him get away with the ‘whatever you want is what I want”

    As for the rest, Mutha Mae is right. It gets easier w/ each child. This is #5 for us, and complete shocker as my youngest is 6 and just started kindergarten. I’m still not sure I’m ready for diapers again, but I’m cherishing all the rest.

  3. Great advice Mutha Mae. I appreciate you taking the time to share it. And you might be right about it being harder when I was expecting a c section. And hell yes! not like the movies. you feel like crap afterward.
    Stephanie, where you watching “The Fashion Team” on Tv guide? bless. need eyeballs there. especially in this economy.
    glad to hear that it gets easier. Okay, I’ll call the doula

  4. The fear of a autism/vaccination link may be real but there is no actual research that in any way shows the smallest link or correlation.

  5. Two c-sections here, Three years apart. The second one was much MUCH easier. I was 37 this time and I bounced back fine. Tip: I bought a fabulous satin nightshirt to wear at the hospital. Opened up the front for feeding the beeb, all the tubes and bandages were accessible, looked great in photos but the main thing was- the fabric slid easily so I could move in the bed. Cotton nightgowns stuck to the sheets- the satin allowed me to slide in and out of bed easier! High waisted nylon panties helped too; great for sliding on the sheets, and the high waist held bandages in place.

    I had a scheduled c-section, but my waterbroke a few weeks early. I have two boys, all vaccines performed w/no evident problems yet.

  6. Jeanne D
    you rock. thanks. In college I broke my pelvic bone. I had to stay in bed for weeks. My mom bought me satin lounge PJ’s. and she put satin sheets on the bed so that I could move more easily. It did too good of a job. I kept sliding out of bed!
    But, satin on cotton makes sense.

  7. Check out what kind of anesthesia you had the first time around: spinal or epidural. If you can figure out which one you had, ask for the other. They both work the same basic way, but have different side effects.

    Also, you can ask for an abdominal binder. The support provided helps you to heal faster and keeps everything lined up where it should be.

    Thirdly, I practice a delayed vaccine schedule. It has helped to ease my mind on the vaccine/side effects links, both for autism and other allergic reactions that can be avoided.

  8. I have never had a c-section but judging by my sisters’ experiences the second (planned) time around is easier. For one you have not labored/been in pain/exhausted yourself prior to major surgery. Very important I would think.

    Second, you know what recovery is like and what to expect.

    Hoping it all goes super smoothly for you. Try not to worry.

    I spent 8 months worrying about the birth of my twins (no epidurals unless you were high needs. Yeah, TWINS, one breech is NOT high needs? We need a woman evaluating here guys..) And worry I DID. I was OBSESSED! I had an epidural with my first child dammit!.

    Worried for naught. They came within 2.5 hours of breaking my waters. Try to use this experience as a lesson to NOT worry, so not worth it!

    Wishing the best possible experience. Congratulations!!

  9. I hear you on the cesarean recovery. Some women bounce back so easily from surgery and others, like me, don’t. I opted for a VBAC with my second because I didn’t want to go through that recovery again unless there was a medical reason for the surgery. (My cesarean was for breech as well.) My labor, while difficult, was still easier than my cesarean. I “felt like me” immediately after my son was born as opposed to the weeks and months it took for me to feel back to normal after my cesarean. (Does everyone have the oddly numb, yet hypersensitive, cesarean scar? It feels so freaky!) I hope your recovery goes smoothly and you “feel like you” quickly! I have always been jealous of the women who have easy cesarean recoveries!

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