Second-Hand Husbands

Gal pals I know who obsess on having the “cutest” boy on their arms are often dissapointed if they marry him. I liked the hunks for a weekend to six weeks (back in the day). But for boyfriends, I gravitated to funny and smart.  

I also think there is something to getting a pre-used husband.  Yes, you have to suspend the fantasy that only you two were brought together to share love and make babies. Hard to imagine your husband a virgin when he comes with three kids, and there’s no thinking that he had stored away all his love, waiting only for you. And there is a strain to having to negotiate a blended family and ex-spouses.  

But, aren’t vintage t-shirts more comfortable than brand-new ones? Don’t your bed sheets feel a lot better after a few washings than when you took them out of the bag? I hate new sweatshirts. My favorite one is from college. Some things need to be worn down to fit.

8 thoughts on “Second-Hand Husbands

  1. For the last 10 years I have lived a few short blocks from my husband’s ex-wife and their 3 children. It was a great arrangement for my husband and his ex-wife and their kids, now ages 20,18 and 16. It was even a great thing for my kid, now age 27, and the two new babies we made, now ages 9 and 10.

    (OK! Did you follow that?)

    My point is that you are so right! Used husbands are good!

    There was a phase where my husband would say things like, “Do you mind if I mow the lawn?” I’d be like, “What?” And he’d be like, “My ex-wife used to get mad at me for doing chores on the weekend instead of doing fun things with the family so I just want you to know that if you want to do something else, I won’t cut the grass right now.”

    He tells me that he used to tell her, “Why are you setting me out on the curb now? You fixed me for somebody else!”

    I appreciate all of her fine work.

  2. Pingback: The DHX: The Doughtie Houses Exchange » Blog Archive » Links for Tuesday, December 2

  3. I have an eco-friendly yet sporty version of the husband. He was ‘like-new’ when I got him. He’d been test driven, but never previously owned. I really like him and would recommend his sort any day.

    That said, if I were ever on the market again, seeing as I would be second hand myself, I probably consider a second hand model.

    All kidding aside, I think I’d be a crappy step-mother and for that reason I don’t think I would consider a previously owned model with offspring.

    Crabmommy sent me your way.

  4. I just laughed so hard at this! I am living with a second-hand man, and like Denise did I’m going through a “what?” period. He makes me dinner from scratch and apologizes if it’s on the table later than 8:30pm – because his ex-wife hated eating late and let him know it. My goodness. Give me a good worn-in husband any day.

  5. I have a fresh-off-the-factory-line husband and I sympathize. But I think our quick 3 mo. break up post-engagement, pre-wedding, did us a world of good. For him, especially. He came back a bit more appreciative of my “brand of crazy”. He had come to realize that every woman has some (men, too, of course) and mine was possibly the nicest.

    If I had it all to do over, I wouldn’t mind a second-hand-husband at all, I think.

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