I Wish I Was More Religious

I did this vlog a few weeks ago, and then I also used a similar premise for a Momversation… about raising your kids with religion or not.  My agnostic self can sometimes be tortured after a few rounds of “Silent Night.”  Now that the cold hard splash of 2009 is on me, I think I’m over it.

14 thoughts on “I Wish I Was More Religious

  1. With an atheist hubby and my migration in that direction, we’ve completely avoided all the religion stuff to this point — 3.5 years. Like you, Amy knows her Christmas and Hannukah songs, but just to the extent that they are fun little ditties to sing (not unlike “5 Little Monkeys Sitting in a Tree”).

    But, we know the day will come when we’ll have to address it. But how? You mention addressing the birth of Jesus stuff while avoiding the Easter-y stuff. And there’s the rub. How to present this information in a context of “stories” without creating a judgmental vibe in the kid about the people who really believe them (i.e. how to avoid “Well, my daddy says those are just like fairy tales that are used to control people / provide false hope / etc.”). I wouldn’t use that terminology, but kids tend to put the pieces together pretty quickly on what we’re trying to say, don’t they?!

    I think it’s worth making a visit or two to a church so she gets what the cultural relevance is, but it’s a delicate line.

  2. Just releasing my pent up frustration about being rejected in my own community, for not claiming you-know-who as my savior. It’s like, I know all these women who could be great friends, yet until I proclaim what they want me to, I’m in the “needing to be saved’ category.

    Oh well, one life to live.

  3. i hear you. I envy my friends who have a found their path, good for them. I like christians, atheist, orthodox, whatever. Isn’t that American that we all co exist?

  4. I always feel like my disadvantage is that I wasn’t raised in the tradition, and so I can’t pull off the lingo. I have a strong faith, yet it refuses to be bound by assigned words.

    And being a homeschooling mom (yes, I savor your video), I am continually dressing wounds to my ego, surrounded by women who literally hold prayer meetings that include me and my family.

    My sister-in-law says there’s no common ground with evangelicals, and I tend to agree. They’ve done a good job of convincing me to keep standing where I’m standing, though.

  5. I am a religious, church going person, though I struggle to define myself as a “true believer.” I have a certain amount of envy for those who can embrace a particular belief whole heart and soul.

    But my point is that as we’re raising our kids in a particular religion, we still have to explain to them that other people are different and believe differently than we do and that that doesn’t make them stupid or bad people. I think that’s not unlike what, as a non-believer, you need to teacher your children about people who do follow a religion.

  6. I was raised Catholic, and was shuffling towards raising the kids this way when it dawned on me that I didn’t agree with most of the teachings (rules), and had not found anyone in the parish who was even that nice to me. So we have been exploring a bunch of churches, our beliefs, and what our true objective is in participating in any organized religion with the kids.

    Conculsions are similar to what others have said. Want them to big good peeps, understand that they are not the center of the universe, and be accepting of a range of beliefs and ideas. I do think it is helpful to have some ‘community’ to support your values, the challenge is finding one that is in synch with you and then hauling your butt out of bed once in awhile to actually participate. So far, we feel most comfortable with the Unitarians. Of course, I can’t speak of this to most of my God fearing rule-abiding family. Ah well, its not about them.

    Interesting post and thread.

  7. Of all the religions, I totally embrace Catholocism. My dad went to Catholic school and it wasn’t enough to help him transfer his beliefs on to me. Too bad. Now that I have friends who embrace those rituals, I feel torn about not being able to join the community. It doesn’t go over with my husband very well…um honey, I’d like to be CATHOLIC.

  8. I think its a great idea. I “found my path” a a Mormon, but I grew up in a house hold where my family was Mormon, but they emphasized that any person’s beliefs is up to them and thats cool.

  9. Pingback: Cool Mom - Dapne Brogdon - I Wish I Was More Religious Cool Mom … | NEW BORN BABY PACKS.

  10. When I was growing up my Mom took us to the beach most Sundays, while many of my friends were putting on their shiny shoes for church/temple. She told me that God lives in the ocean. And for every grain of sand, there is a star in the sky. And that, no, I was not going to hell for not being baptized. She also encouraged me to attend my friends’ faith based gatherings, read their bible/torah/koran/scriptures. I learned a lot. Religion has become one of my favorite topics to discuss and research. I believe in doing the right thing because it feels good – not because I’m gettin’ me some brownie points into another world. There are so many people on this planet that follow such a myriad of beliefs that it’s virtually impossible, in my mind at least, to “know” that “one” is right. To condem another’s beliefs is like judging the color of their skin. Makes no good sense!! I do believe that faith is powerful, and whatever one believes… is true for them. Religion has shaped our world and our cultures, and we owe a certain reverence to its influence.

    My children will be taught that the universe is a big place, so big infact, that for every grain of sand on the beach… there’s a person with their own set of beliefs. And the common thread is that we’re all human, capable of loving and learning.

    Daphne – congrats on your new baby boy. I just had my little guy 4 months ago :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE your site – read it every night after i get my 2 in the sack :)

    Eileen (NY)

  11. So my folks split when I was 2 mo. They were Jewish so… I did the Jewish thing. Went to Hebrew School, HHD’s, the whole deal. But they remarried new people, Dad a Christian, Mom a Catholic. And as my Bat Mitz approached there was very little enthusiasm. So I didn’t have one. Wound up instead in Vacation Bible School at an Evangelical Church and Catholic High School. Pretty beat. Makes sense I’d marry a Buddhist, though, doesn’t it?

    My thing is, I feel like I put in my time. I’m done. I have my beliefs I carry with me from my core and I’ll share them when my kids are old enough to ask. Til then there’s a ton of fun holidays to participate in and stories to tell. I guess I can just let them sort it out as no one can be sure they’ve got the -real- answer anyway. It’s personal.

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