Peeing Too Much

Since I stopped working out…. well, small hand weights while I watch TV… I think urination has become my sport. I was always good at it. When I worked in radio I had “who can piss faster contests” on air with guys I worked with. Including washing of hands, I always won. I know, don’t be jealous; some people are born with a talent, and I have a very fast bladder. Too bad it’s not a sport I can monetize. The frequent peeing thing is less stressful this time than it was the first pregnancy. Like so many of the pregnancy symptoms, I take it in stride knowing it will be done soon. And since this is my swan song to pregnancy, I really don’t want to complain but embrace it all. I also know the night pees are getting me in training for waking up with a newborn.
True story. When I was near delivering with Vivien, I was in Santa Monica (as Harry Shearer calls it “the home of the homeless”). I was parked on the 3rd or 4th floor of the parking structure up from the shops. The elevator was broken, so heaving my large frame, I made up to the car. Now, mind you it’s summer as well. Okay, so I am standing by my car, and I realize I have to piss like a moose. I can’t face going down and coming back up. And the merchants aren’t that open about sharing their baños anyway. I think hey, millions of homeless people can’t be wrong, right? So I go to the front of my car (the hidden part) and just peed.  There, I admit, and I will never make it in politics anyway.

12 thoughts on “Peeing Too Much

  1. Ahaha, so funny. I recently went on driving trip to Chicago (I’m in Madison, WI) and it took us an hour to go something ridiculous like six miles. I had to pee so bad I almost cried. I can’t imagine being pregnant and having the issue multiplied!

  2. So funny. This was by far the worst part of my last month (er, 5 weeks) of pregnancy. And I would just sneeze and pee my pants, I mean really pee my pants, so it was embarrassing too. My husband didn’t really get it until he was with me during one of those pants-peeing episodes, then he never wanted to take me anywhere, haha.

  3. Wow, is this what your life has become………….. really bad ……….. Let yourself have a life. Get your husband to watch the kids every now and then and get out. These videos are really a wast of your time. I just happen to be looking for some good information for my wonderful wife and found these videos on itunes. I took a look and felt really sorry for what I can see has not been a very good life for you the last several years. Hope you get your life together and find a good use for it.

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