No Hubby at the OBGYN

This pregnancy has differed in so many ways from my first. For one thing, I thought it was my husband’s duty to go with me to nearly all doctor visits. Now, I’m like, “If you are busy it’s no big deal.” Or “Just come to the ultrasounds,” which makes me him be more like, “I wanna come!” Here is where I confess about my sweet husband bugging me at the doctors.

10 thoughts on “No Hubby at the OBGYN

  1. During my transvaginal ultrasound when I was pregnant with my first child (when everything was new and scary) my husband looked at the screen and said to the doctor, “Do you think the reception would be better if I moved her arms around?”

    Funny, yes, but I wanted to kill him. Especially because it really hurts to laugh during a transvaginal ultrasound.

    Then they started talking about my husband’s work, and I’m lying there, with the doctor doing really personal and uncomfortable things to me with the wand thingie (and I know you know what that’s like, so I won’t get any more detailed than that), while the doctor and the husband are having the kind of conversation you’d expect to overhear at a cocktail party. I felt like furniture. No, worse, I felt like livestock – like they were a couple of farmers checking to see how the herd was coming along. GAH!

    I know that the doctor was making small talk because he was trying to set my husband at ease. I know my husband was talking because what was happening to me at that moment was uncomfortable for him, too… BUT SERIOUSLY!

    I am in total agreement with you. Maybe men should be put behind glass, like they do with spectators on ER when someone’s in surgery, so they don’t feel the need to talk or joke. One-way glass, so that we can’t watch them squirm as the doctor does things to our intimate body parts.


  2. I don’t blame you a bit! Since we’re in the process of trying to get pregnant, I haven’t had to bring my husband with me yet. But… I think that I’ll just have him come to the ultrasounds unless I feel like I need him there for some reason. I think he’d probably be more comfortable with that anyway. :)

  3. I am totally there with you. We actually agreed from the beginning that he would only come to the appointments with ultrasounds, and even at those, he only goes to the ultrasound. I’m not really sure why he should come to the actual appointment at this point. Maybe when I am 30+ weeks, but for now, since I have a complication free pregnancy, we are both more comfortable with this arrangement.

  4. I’m 27 weeks, and my husband has come to my CVS appt, and to the big anatomy ultrasound. In general, having your husband there for the routine visits is, in a weird way, like being a kid and having your mom take you to the doctor. When else – outside emergency room attendance, or a cancer consult – would you have your loved one with you? He surely doesn’t come with me for every annual physical I get…and that’s because it’s MY BODY/HEALTH ISSUES.

    Yet, i have to say my hubby doesn’t bug me when he’s there the way Mark has seemed to grate on you – he’s always been pretty deferential to me, and low key. And since we’ve learned with our mega-practice, it doesn’t even matter to have him come to meet everyone because in the crunch, someone totally random will end up delivering us. :-) It’s all weird, and foreign, and when I hadn’t been pregnant for a few years, I was sooo excited to be able to be pregnant (i’m 39), but the novelty has SO worn off and, right now, i’m just wishing I could skip ahead to the moment of extraction – skip all the hell and anxiety of delivery, and just remember that lovely “schlurp” of the baby being born, and all the joy that comes afterwards (don’t mean to be too gross, but that was the moment for me when I started getting happy about my first).

  5. Can’t even imagine dh at any doc appt. He came to the ultrasounds but nothing else. He was never more of a gentleman than in the delivery room. He shut up and let everyone do their jobs, and provided me with quiet moral support. That’s all I needed.

    Good luck Daphne!

  6. LOVe, love all these comments. I love when I think I’m being totally random and I ‘m not. That others have thought about this, been through this.
    Bring on the schlurp!

  7. Daphne…my husband was just like yours at ob/gyn appointments. He thought he was supposed to be the entertainment committee….you know, be funny so the doctor would like him. I always felt like he was on a “Hey you’re a good guy and I’m a good guy too” campaign. Annoying, but funny.

  8. My husband used to annoy the crap out of me at all my OB appointments of which he was doing the “right thing” by showing up to ALL of them! But he wasn’t the shy wall flower that I wished he could be. Oh no! He was the one with his head directly behind the doctor lurking and looking at places he’d only seen in the dark. Asking questions and pointing. He would also tattle when I would tell the doctor that I’d been eating well and not really splurging too much. At home he would catch me eating something not so healthy, just once, and somehow it always made its into conversation at my appointments. It was like he was the pregnancy police. He’s not really a controlling man and usually is about as unconcerned about most things that I have to practically slap him to get his attention sometimes. But pregnancy brought out a strange side of him I hope I never see again. I think the next time we have a baby I’m not going to tell him till I go into labor.

  9. Ugh. I had so many mixed feelings about my hubby being in that room with me. He was so curious and wanted to “feel the baby’s head” toward the end cuz the doctor said he could. I just wanted my husband at my side holding my hand, not side-by-side with the doctor. Grrr

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