27 thoughts on “Cruelest Baby Names

  1. My sister heard of these twins, named:

    Orangejello
    and
    Lemonjello

    Yes, Orange Jello and Lemon Jello.

    Only, they were pronounced:

    o-RAN-jel-lo

    leh-MAHN-jel-lo

  2. Before my youngest niece was born … before they knew it was a girl … my sister and her hubby picked Wolfgang for a boy name. I realize this is an actual name, and possibly a quite common one back in the day in a certain part of the world … but I was horrifed! It didn’t sound good at all with their last name, either. Imagine my happy dance when she called to say they were having a girl! :)

  3. I have a college friend whose last name is Brothers. She named her son Warner. Seriously, Warner Brothers.

  4. A friend of mine told me about a family that she used to babysit for in California who named their two daughters:

    Trixie {first name} Pineapple {middle name}

    and

    Superstarfive {first name only, no middle}

    If that’s not cruel, I don’t know what is. Those girls are destined to be made fun of their whole lives and then grow up to be strippers or porn stars.

    Great topic!

  5. Oh, and here I was expecting to find your sister. Can only assume you girls are being all crazy, exploring camera angles, setting up the quirky script, eatin’ Mark’s cooking and playing with lighting.

    Anxiously waiting, to see what the Production Gals have in store, Cool Mom style.

  6. I always chuckle when I see Milton Bradley playing in the MLB, and there was a gal on a reality show a while back named Candida. As in yeast infection. Come on people.

  7. An aquaintance named her boy Logan, which would have been fine except she spelled in Logyn. Everytime I see it I get an itch…near my…Clitorine?

  8. A friend’s high school classmate named her daughter “Tragedy”.

    A former coworker with an inscrutable Polish last name gave his daughter a bastardized Italian word as a name (Ferah) and named his son with the French word for bounty (Bonte). Oh how kind it is to give your child both first AND last names that people can neither pronounce nor spell…

    And my last name used to be the same as that of a father-son Hollywood actor duo. My first name synched up with the son, and my brother’s matched up with the father’s. It helped for restaurant reservations in LA when I still had that last name, but happy to have a more anonymous name now!

  9. Amanda the jello names are true! One of my friend’s mom’s taught them in Texas. She also had a student named Female. (Fe Molly) They parents didn’t speak much english and when my friends mom said “what a neat name how did you come up with it” they said “my baby come with name.”

  10. My Sunday school teacher’s co-worker named their daughter Crystal Chandy. Their last name was Leer so…

    Crystal Chandy Leer

    And there was actually a kid in my high school with the middle name of S***. WHO does that to their sweet baby??

  11. The Brock Lee name? That is actually my nephews name. The middle name is his grandfathers and they REALLY wanted it. We tried to talk them out of it but they just thought no one would ever know his middle name (oh…kids can find out!). We only call him Brock, never with the middle name. All school stuff just lists Brock L. (last name here). I know, it makes us laugh when we tell the story too!!

  12. I had decided in high school what I wanted my future son’s name to be. I wanted to name him Holden after the protagonist in Catcher in the Rye. I still love that name, but….my married name is now Cox.

    Could you imagine??

  13. I went to school with a John Doe–seriously. Talk about a lifetime of having to prove that you are who you say you are. He must have to carry around several forms of identification.

  14. My second cousins are named after guns… Remmington and Winchestor. They’re nicknamed Remmy and Chet. Their sisters have very sweet, normal names… Libby and Eliza.

  15. One of my brothers dated an “Amanda Naylor”

    Another brother dated a “Martha Recht”
    Last name, first initial: Recht, M
    Rectum
    Her fathers name began with an “E”
    First initial, last name” E. Recht
    Erect

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>