March 31, 2009
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I'm Not Laughing at You!
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I was pregnant when I taped this, but this issue has not died. How can I make my daughter understand the difference between laughing with and laughing at? And furthermore what strength it gives you when people can laugh at you? Not in a belittling way but in a "There is nothing you can say that hurts me because I am already aware of my shortcomings" way, which is the inner voice of all comics.
Well, she is only 3.
You have met your life's goal: you DO make me laugh, you ARE funny. Just keep modeling for your daughter, laugh when Mark laughs at you, too. Life's burdens are a LOT lighter with a sense of humor…
She'll out grow it. My son did the same thing when he was 3. No Laughing Aloud! He'd get really mad because I guess he thought we were laughing at him. I finally started explaining what was so funny and he quit after a time. I think it's a 3 year old thing.
Daphne,
I think of it this way, it is all about karma. What we are supposed to learn and what we are supposed to teach to others. So, what can you learn from her and what can she learn from you?
Oh, and you make me laugh all the time.
I agree with Kathy, I was so excited to move out of the defiant "two's" and then the "three's" seem to bring nothing but tears.
My son (who's now 6) also has this problem and at first I was just like you and didn't know what to make of it. After a few years, a few books and parenting seminars I've since learned that it's actually an inability to interpret and understand this social nuance. When you think about it, laughing with and laughing at is really a fine distinction–it's a learned social skill. He's gotten better as he's gotten older, but we still need to model for him when something is funny and we are laughing at IT, not him. Hang in there - your humor will see you through.
great comments. glad to know it will end one day!