The recent death of Michael Jackson has me thinking about who will take care of my kids if I die. I lead the conversation on today’s Momversation.
Cool Mom – Funny videos on parenting and pop culture
parents don’t know what they are doing anyway, might as well laugh about it
This topic has always freaked me out. I am an only child, of divorced parents and I don’t have anybody that I trust to take care of my children if me & my husband die. My husband has 7 siblings and I don’t trust any of them to raise my children. I have a cousin who I would trust, if and only if she gets divorced. Even though I have family members who would be able to take care of my 2 daughters if we die, there’s nobody who shares the same values than I do. So based on that, I am right where the mom from “Bacon is my enemy” is at. I have no intentions of dying! Lucky all of you who at least have someone that shares your parenting values!
Oh, this is a good one. My DH and I just got done making our will and deciding on whom my daughter will go to if we both die. I had to gently coax him on this one and my mom won out- then his mom next, if my mom was to die. Neither of us have sisters and our brothers are…less than ideal, so it was our moms. This might turn into a problem as our mothers continue to age…humm…..
My husband and I are taking a week long trip together WITHOUT our son (first time in four years) and just went through the process of making up a will, living will, medical directives, etc. We had a very difficult time choosing a guardian, well, not really, because none of our siblings would be appropriate. We chose my best friend and her husband because they are awesome parents and we know they would do everything in their power to make the situation work (we did, of course, consult them first). It was a difficult decision only in the fact that they are not related to us and we still want our son to have strong ties to our families. I’m pretty sure that I will worry about this even if I am dead.
Since I don’t spend $10,000 a month on prescription meds, and do not take anesthesia to sleep, I guess I’m safe for awhile without having to think on this.
I’ll be using baconismyenemy’s plan.
I am not going to lie – the music playing through the background of this piece made me cry. I truly hope that lots of moms (and dads) see this piece and realize how important it is to have something written down in case of an emergency.
I don’t have kids, so I can’t speak to that part, but I can speak to my experience. My brother and I were 18 and 20 when my mom died 2 years ago. Even though my dad was responsible for making the arrangements, I have to say that it was still a nightmare to deal with all the legal and financial stuff that needs to be sorted through when someone died.
My point is – even if your kids are older, it’s still really important to have some plans in place because being left behind, at any age, is still tough.
Daphne, thanks for doing this episode – it was great!
ah, Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, that music was kind of bittersweet. I appreciate you adding your voice to this. I have to fight my Religious Science part of me ( your thought is creative) and not dwell too much on the subject, with the practical part of me.
In the video I talk about who would raise my daughter. I was not leaving my son out of the planning, but in the editing some comments were taken out of context. I was talking about our first attempt at a will…back when we had money… 8 months ago.
I agree with the guardian is one person and the trustee is another.
And yes Laura, you can’t leave your kids to someone who doesn’t have a spouse you trust. Cause would if something should happen to your friend.
On the flip side I’m in a friends will as the appointed guardian for her daughter and I take this very seriously. I don’t expect to ever be her guardian, but I would be ready for it.
This is so interesting, and something my husband and I talk about all the time. Problem is, we can’t agree on who we’d leave our kids to. Husband keeps changing his mind between my brother and his sister…and to be honest, I don’t want either one of them! We don’t have any close friends that are stable enough or share the same values that we do. It’s a tricky subject…so we’ve done nothing, which isn’t smart. Got any suggestions about what to do when you can’t agree? or can’t decide?
hey daphne met you at kristina’s yesterday. I wrote a blog post about this just a few weeks ago. Im sure you and your readers would dig it and I even have video from some another rad dad. Check out some male perspective on the subject.
http://popnbottles.wordpress.com/2009/06/10/how-to-choose-god-parents/