xo

I do like coming to this blog, but if making a comment to state one’s opinion is going to be blasted than what’s the point of having a comments section.

Also, from what I’ve seen, this post has received the most amount of comments than any of Daphne’s other posts (from what I’ve seen – and I haven’t seen them all) so I’d say that by stimulating conversation such as this, this post was very successful in getting people out to support her and know her true in depth feelings on her situation.

I truly do wish the best for her family and for everyone else going through tough times right now, because, let’s be real – it sucks.

I am astounded at how at least two commenters, however civil, have posted again to justify their comments.

What don’t they get? 1)You were violated, and you have a right to be mad; the value of your home is irrelevant, it was your HOME and 2)It doesn’t matter if they “didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” they did.

Why is it so hard to apologize? I, myself, fired off a hasty comment on another blog that I later regretted, and when the blogger mentioned similar comments, I sent an apology. My intentions were not important, the EFFECT was.

Let’s be kind.

I identify with so many things you talk about, and always think “I would totally hang out with her”. I was stunned and saddened when I read your piece about Madoff, and am truly sorry to hear that people’s reactions were more about their unfortunate lots in life rather than a simple show of support. Please keep talking about these things – people like me value them and it helps us other moms (and dads) feel like we are not the only ones out there asking questions. Thanks for your honesty and bravery – your kids will certainly be proud of their mom!

(from Daphne) Thank you Stephanie, wow, such a nice things to say. I do feel a bit less like sticking my head out, so thanks for the support. I do want us to connect.

Wishing us all peace and strength as we deal with whatever is next because I don’t think it’s over yet.

Thanks for being so honest.

Hugs,

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Having recently (last Friday, in fact) crawled out from the laid off, unemployed family nightmare, I understand how difficult it is to have your financial security taken away. My hubby was our breadwinner, source of health insurance, etc. and things were beyond challenging. Many of our friends said nothing or pretended everything was fine. Nothing was more irritating than when a friend would call to see if I’d hit the big sale at BabyGap. Uh, no. I’m saving my money to buy food.

Anyway, one thing I quickly realized is that there is a real lack of support for the spouses of those laid off. My hubby had job clubs, career counselors, etc. I had nothing. And, you don’t want to add stress to your hubby by saying all the fears, concerns, etc. to him. Emotionally, it was the most difficult situation of my adult life. Early in his lay off, I started a little blog for myself to vent. It really helped. But, I hesitated to share it with people due to the vunerability of honestly sharing information about our situation.

Thank you, Daphne for having the courage to share your situation. I know it was a source of strength for me. It helped me to know that others were in similar situations (regardless of how they got there or how much money they had). I feel very lucky to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and hope that others who are struggling find a quick solution to their situations. It’s a rocky, rough road.

(From Daphne) Thank you Heather. Yes, sometimes it doesn’t help to vent every fear to your mate. They probably have enough of their own. that’s what girlfriends (or blogs) or for. Best to you.

I did just get a very nice note from my friend I mentioned earlier who irked me. He said he was sorry and he was trying to joke. Which I get. Even if it didn’t land..as we say in the biz.
I am SURE I have said some lame-o things ( and probably will again).
For the record, I do feel like a lucky person. Although I use to feel super lucky-lol.
Seriously, my kids are worth millions. that’s the truth.
Where ever you virtual friends are. courage, love, and a good nights sleep.

…oh, yeah, I don’t get much of that. but having two has NOT been as hectic as i thought it would. and the heart Does expand.

It’s true.

Just remember to consider the source when someone says something hurtful to you. I know it’s hard, though.

And to be honest… I love to write and I’ve been working on my own blog – BUT I struggle over content cause I get so unsettled about putting myself “out there” for the EXACT reason you’re grappling with. I struggle to write funny/interesting things that are safe for me, my family, friends, etc. I marvel over how you do it SO WELL. Seriously.

You are a fabulous lady, with more courage than most. And I raise my (now empty) wine glass to you, sister!

Keep on with your storytelling and “shake it off”, girl Those jerks need finishing school.

Anyway…..hey, how are you feeling about the Mommy of two thing at this stage?? Got your groove by now, right? My little guy is now 8 months (late nights are still on the menu… ugh!), my little girl is 2 1/2. She, too, is doing the baby talk thing. I’m thinking it’ll pass if I don’t make too big a deal of it.

I SOOO enjoy visiting your blog, cause we’re on the same path with all this baby stuff

TGIF!!
LOVE & xoxo,
Eileen.

I sympathize with you. It is pointless to “compare loss,” be it financial or emotional. The only set of measures that matter to any of us are our own. (and for the record, when my mother died rather suddenly someone actually DID say that I was LUCKY that I didn’t have to watch her suffer!!! I’ll never forget it and it has made me watch my mouth even more carefully as three years later it STILL pains me to think of that strange moment.)

Be strong — as you obviously are.

Lucy, very funny.
another “group hug”!!

maybe people are just awkward. ran into an old friend today who had heard our tale. at one point I said something about my stepkids losing their money as well. He said, “well, good maybe now they can get a job.” I said, F/u my older step children do work, always have and we haven’t chained the 15 year old to a plow just yet.
I’m actually more irked now then I was in the moment. you know when something takes a while to settle in?

You are a very special and strong lady to share your life and family with the world! Thank you for being such an inspirational example to other moms and families that are struggling with similar situations.

I feel confident that you will, as a family, find much happiness and success in the future.

Thank you again for sharing your world with us so honestly!

Daphne- Yes, I did see your vlog “what not to say”. It was very well put. A great PSA, if you will.

I think it was tacky and invasive for Andrea to research your home’s value. You choose to share your thoughts with us but that doesn’t mean your private life isn’t private.

The details are private. The emotions and reactions are what you’re choosing to share and regardless if the conversation is about finances, relationships, health, etc I think the point is universal – we all react to events in our lives in our own unique way but for those of us listening, we need to listen respectfully and hear what our friends and bloggers (LOL) and loved ones are saying.

I was sorry to hear that your family was taken advantage of and I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling and I wish you and your family all the best during this journey. Thanks for sharing and continue to dream!

A loyal reader