There are a few people I would like a hidden camera on… Daniel Craig in a swimming pool, George Clooney in the shower. But let’s face it, I don’t want to see anyone’s unguarded moments.
I mean how much nose picking does one really want to view?
Watch “Would You Ever Spy on Your Babysitter?” on Momversation.
I was a full-time, live-in professional nanny for 10 years. First of all, I need to say how crazy I get when people say that they have a “nanny” three days a week. No, you have a babysitter. A nanny is a college educated employee who works 50 hours a week or more with housing provided, a personal vehicle, a high salary and about 2 months of paid vaca. People feel good about themselves when they say “I have a nanny.” It’s a popular term because it makes people feel elite, but the reality is that very few people have nannies.
The only reason anyone would need a nanny-cam is because they are not around enough to know what goes on in their home during the average 24-hour period. They use the camera to make themselves feel like an involved parent. The moms who know what is going on will know if something is not right and just fire the nanny.
P.S. I worked for a single dad who lost his wife to cancer, a bipolar mom who had to have me because of a court order and it was the recommendation of her rehab team upon her discharge, a family with 5 kids (17, 14, 13, 8 and a high-needs infant adopted from China), and an Orthodox Jewish family where both parents were VERY high ranking Wall Street execs. Sweet Lord, do I have some stories. And a pretty impressive collection of handbags. What is it with rich women giving their nanny Coach/Burberry/Prada bags to try to compensate for being a psychotic bitch? I digress… Sorry, I’m bitter, I know. I was an outstanding caregiver and I was treated like chattel most of the time by people who had children because they could afford me, not because they wanted the job of being a parent.
P.P.S. I “retired” when I got married. Now I teach 9th and 10th grade English in an urban school district. Life is grand!
I can see a reason to attempt to prove abuse. If YOU hired the nanny, someone else is going to hire the nanny. And by proving that person is unfit for nanny-dom, you’ve saved another child and parent the horror.
However, you have to put your child through more horror. So I can see why a parent wouldn’t want to do that.
We need an ‘Angie’s List’ for nannies.
since i’ll be a mom in about 6 months, and have ~ 127 nightmares a night about crazy things that could go wrong, i understand why people go there.
but mostly…no. if anything, i’d do a few surprise visits in the first few weeks, like you mentioned. seems more effective and a lot less creepy.
i worked with a dude who could access his nanny cam from his work computer. he’d go ‘hey! look!’ and we’d all run over and watch the nanny make his twins pb&j’s. spooky.
yes, that is spooky.
Chris, thank you so much for the definition. I do think of a nanny as being like a governess, but wasn’t sure what to call the woman who helps us. She’s sort of a jack of all trades really. I feel weird calling her a babysitter cause she isn’t 14. And I bet your stories would be better than the “nanny diaries” which was kind of a snooze.
Oh, the stories. Indulge me, just this once…
Um, like the time Mr. and Mrs. Wall Street offered me a bonus based on their daughters GPA? Yeah, $2500 if she got a 3.9. She ended up with a 3.89 (after I typed her U.S. History notes and spent 3-4 hours a week tutoring her Spanish) and Mrs. Wall Street said that rounding up 0.01% “wouldn’t be reasonable based on the agreement.” No GPA-based bonus for me. Many tears over that one, but, in the end they did give me $5000 for a wedding gift. Or how about the time I made homemade pizza from scratch with all organic ingredients and Mrs. Wall Street left me a note asking me not to “go cheap and easy anymore but to please prepare the children REAL dinners.” The food issues could be a whole three chapters in my book – like how she saw preparing an entire feast for her entire extended family on every major Jewish holiday as part of the nanny’s job. Um, caterer maybe? Sigh. Anyway… I left two years ago and have never been happier. It seems like a lifetime ago. I served them well, but I only did it for the money. I wanted my student loans paid off in two years – not twenty. So, I took it up the tailpipe for a little while. They never videotaped me, but they did feel the need to micromanage via my cell phone 24-7. – very much like The Nanny Diaries.
There were life-changing positive experiences too – don’t get me wrong. My first charge – now a sophomore in college – is like a sister/daughter to me. It was an honor to be such an important person in her life (mom died just before I came on board). The last little guy and his sisters are DELIGHTFUL and are very bad birth control for me and my hubby. I absolutely adore them. No cameras in those families either. Just mutual trust and awesome communication.
All I ever wanted to say in this is that nannies can be abused too. Not that it holds a candle to the mistreatment of a child, but I think the parents who feel the need to record the nanny have lost sight of the fact that it’s a two-way street. Shit happens, but 99 times out of 100 people will treat you the way you treat them. If you trust her and are trustworthy, she will naturally want to do the best she can by your kids.
Recording someone is an act of fear and acts of fear rarely end well.
Peace out. ( :
Chris, love reading this. interesting. Oh, people exploit workers like crazy, mom’s exploit as well. There was a sad looking nanny I use to see near where we use to live. I started talking to her and found that she worked from 7:30am to 5:30 caring for a toddler. They only paid her $250 for the entire week. Another baby was coming and she wasn’t going to get a raise. I said, “well, they feed you right?” No, they told her not to touch anything in the fridge so she had to walk to the grocery store and spend money on her food. She didn’t have papers, so she felt trapped. I took her number and kept gave it to some people who asked if I knew anyone. I said, “but, you have to pay her a legit wage.” I wouldn’t want someone who was sad or felt kicked down taking care of my child.