Momversation: Funny Wedding Stories

This is a fun one. Okay, so many anecdotes, so little time. So here are a few that didn’t make the cut.

At my wedding (and I mean the big, non-legal one, not the small, legal one) I was crazed doing the tables at the last minute because so many people changed their RSVP at the last minute, or called the day before and said, “We are coming, and where should we stay?”  (um, I did list hotels with special rates on the invite, but never mind) So my best gay friend and I were creating the place settings about 2 hours before the service. Some tables made more sense than others. Oh well.

I forgot to set aside time to get dressed and to have someone help dress me. My guy friend Whitney had been recruited to be our videographer. He was following me around for the video, and I yelled at him to put down the camera and help me get dressed. My friend Teresa was my hair and makeup woman who thankfully works fast and very well. I sat down, and she started creating these curls.

“I don’t know if I want these curls.”

“Tough, it’s all we have time for.”  And they looked great.

I spent a lot of time planning our music. The family members and Mark walked out to “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters. I walked down to Johnny Hartmen’s, “My One and Only Love.”

When we were about to take our vows Vivien (who had just turned 1) started crying. I had to stop the ceremony and ask her nanny to take her out since I knew it upset her to be with mom, but not be in her arms. I had been trying to comfort her before the ceremony, and somewhere there are pictures of me all bedecked, ready to walk, but I had to sit down in the catering directors office and nurse her.

Our recessional was Van Halen’s, “Jump.” A song I have long loved and loved the hidden message of taking a leap into marriage. So, my mother (who performed the ceremony) said the last words, we kissed, staredt to walk down to the famous first few bars on the key board and then screeeeeeeeeeech. The music stopped.  A laugh from the crowd and then, oh well, let’s keep going. Moment lost.

Ended up someone had set their drink down on the CD player. Luckily, I brought with me because once I was in Palm Springs, it ended up the venue didn’t have one. The coordinator dried it out during the cocktail hour with a blow dryer so we had it for later.

Over all though, my weddings… both… were great. The first day people came, we had the Daphne Open golf tourney. The morning of the wedding we had the Mark Croquet games. We had a great band, wonderful toasts by my stepdaughter, my sisters, my sister-in-law and my friend Heather, who is the reason I met Mark. And by having the wedding out of town only those who REALLY wanted to be there and were fun came. And on the final day, there was a pool party at my friend Jeff’s house, which was a blast.

So, glad we did all that when we had the money… and so did others.

What were your hiccups in your day of bliss?

6 thoughts on “Momversation: Funny Wedding Stories

  1. Oh, I can’t beat your stories, but I do have one to share. Two days before the wedding my husband called me at work…and asked me if I was sitting down. As my heart thumped, I sat down and responded (mind you, in one word), “Yeahwhy.” Turns out the outdoor venue on our college campus was seen unfit for events, as there were (and still are, last I checked) diseased Hemlocks on the premise. Therefore, we had to move the ceremony location. Lucky for us, the chapel was open and they would allow the hippie lady we wanted to marry us, get this, for FREE. So, while the chapel wasn’t our first choice, it actually turned out great. We used the decorations from the wedding prior to ours, had plenty of seating and glorious air conditioning for our guests. We started about five minutes late (big whoop) and through emails, phone calls and an event coordinator re-directing people to the chapel, only one person was late. Had this happened two weeks before the wedding I would have been crazed trying to send out something formal.

  2. I set up so many hair appts for “blow outs” for various out of town family members that I once slipped and called them blow jobs at the swanky salon. This was a running joke story at the rehearsal dinner, and all was well until the priest called our house the morning of the wedding. My BIL, thinking it was my fiance, said “she’s at the salon getting a blow job.” Never could look Father in the eye again.

  3. Daphne, can you post wedding pictures? You look so pretty in the teaser veil there, I”d love to see the real thing.

    My wedding fiascos are just too embarrasing to put down. Mostly, just embarrassment courtesy of my family.

    Like, just for starters: my 100% Colombian mother fighting with the Lutheran Pastor b/c they wouldn’t allow the “Ave Maria” to be sung to our glorious virgin mother mary of GOD! Oh, yeah…like out loud, right before communion, My Hispanic mother, unbeknownst to me, had contracted some Latin guy Ernesto somebody, to show up and sing this without me knowing about it. He comes in and starts straight up for the front of the church. Confusion, embarrassed silence, then my mother and the pastor verbally tussle, and my mother ends the argument with “well, then I will NOT have communion in your church.” End with foot stomp.

    Oh, yeah, good memories…

  4. This story brings back memories…..

    We had our rehearsal the night before, everything seemed in place. Let me inject the priest really didn’t want to marry us. I’m not a test taker and in the Catholic faith you have to do this thing called pre-Cana. Well the priest didn’t like my answers to the 130 something questions, so I had to take the test 3 times, in the end he just gave up. This caused him, as I was walking up the aisle to ask my soon-to-be husband; for the fiftieth time are you sure you want to do this?

    The day of the wedding we had stayed up all night partying with family and friends (poor decision) and we were exhausted, thank goodness the wedding was at 8pm. My dad called in the afternoon to say he wasn’t coming to the wedding to walk me down the aisle as his wife didn’t think we paid enough attention to her at the rehearsal and was offended. At the top of my lungs I screamed if you’re not there you no longer have a daughter and hung the phone up. I walked out of the bedroom to learn I had yelled those words loud enough that everyone in our house heard, including my soon-to-be husband’s family who were already uncomfortable with our wedding as it seems in the north a wedding looks different. They expected a full mass and a reception with 5 or 6 courses and an actual band and we in the south felt anything passed a 20 minute ceremony, nuts, mints, punch and cake with a cassette player was way groovy!

    I was late getting to the church as I couldn’t find my earrings, so my girlfriend literally took her earrings out of her ears and put in mine. The priest came in and said he was starting the ceremony despite the fact I wasn’t ready, so I ran out with my veil on lopsided to find my Dad had indeed decided to attend so my uncle was breathing a sigh of relief. The music started and it wasn’t what I thought it would be so I was walking down the aisle thinking son of a b—-! Everyone misread my look and said my face was one of fear, boy they couldn’t have been further off. When the singer started singing the Ave Maria it sounded like a scratched up record. It seems the one thing we didn’t do at the rehearsal was test drive the sound system. The entire wedding party was laughing at the alter because it sounded so horrible to have hired a vocalist.

    So the wedding was over and the picture taking started we made it right? Well our high price photographer it been held up at the previous engagement and sent the “B Team” which was a husband and wife with the wrong equipment for an evening (dark) church and they were fighting to boot! So we managed to miss getting my husband’s family in one single photo. It is so sad no one would have even known his sister was there. We did have his brother as he was in the wedding. All the pictures were dark and to this day we only have the proofs!

    And last but far from least, the one and only thing my husband requested he wanted for the wedding was a limo to take us from the church to the reception. WELL…… seems someone dropped the ball because when we went to leave which was strange as we were the last to leave the church we walked outside to what we thought would be a wonderfully stocked gorgeous limo to find nothing. It was horrible the limo wasn’t there but what was worse was nothing was there at all and we had no vehicle at the church! Thank goodness our bestman had forgotten something and came wheeling back into the parking lot … so we crawled into his small, two door car and I cried all the way to the reception.

    I have to laugh, I thought after 23 years I was over it, seems I still remember it like it was yesterday. Thanks for allowing me to vent, this is better than therapy!

  5. We eloped to Hawaii and unbeknownst to me I was about 6 weeks pregnant.

    Night before in Seattle WA? Headache from hell. Drive to Hana, car sick all the way. Luau with all the food and drink you can consume? Yeah, too nauseous. Snorkeling dive to Molikini? Seasick. Dinner cruise? Unbearably pukey.

    Wedding day delightful, slept in, went to a beach to collect shells. Downed ativan and wine to curb the nerves. Married. Perfect. Dinner at a luxe hotel, ordered the seafood platter and a glass of $12 champagne (19 years ago). Before the food arrived I was ready to leave. When the platter arrived I could have barfed all over it 🙂

    Hubby quickly eats his dinner and most of mine before driving us back to condo. I pass out immediately in my sexy lingerie that took me ages to pick out. Hubby heads out to the ocean to bob in the water (and no doubt question why on earth he married such a sickly woman..) I wake, find him not there and head to the beach. Staff tell us next day he was very unwise to head out alone so late, could have been killed by undertow. Lovely.

    We have sex ONCE in week in paradise. Out of guilt for crying out loud! I was sick as a dog..

    Home 4 days before I really question what the hell is going on, why I am unable to unpack and wonder why my period is so late when I am so feeling past due. Bingo!!

    Besides all of the morning (all day) sickness I will never regret eloping as we did. We returned to Maui this past summer and journeyed to many of the places we went the first time around with our three kids in tow 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.