I’m So Flipping Tired…

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Morning Rex needed to be extra cute today. Yes, he is such a blessing, but woof. Today was one to muscle through.

I have to fight writing the title of this blog in every blog post. Life was looking a tad rosier of late. I was only waking up once a night to nurse Rex. I could Ferberize him out of that as well, but I also do it for me so I don’t have porn star breasts in the morning and so I can savor these fleeting moments of babyhood. At 3 a.m., I miss the lil guy.

But last night all that Sprout food backfired. Rex woke up every 3 hours. Well, actually a tad more because sometimes I put a pillow over my head. But the guy had a genuine beef.  He was an overnight poop factory. So, not only did I need to get up and change him, but also try to keep his screams down to a minimum so as to not wake the whole household. (Mark’s on a grueling schedule at present so wanted to give him a break).

After I staggered into Vivien’s school with Rex strapped on I thought it was nap time for both of us. And by the way I took so long to walk through the school her teacher said, “Are you still here?” I slowly turned to her.

“I’m moving slow. I’m so tired.” Sadly anyone who approached me heard about my son’s BMs.

Of course HE WOULD NOT NAP. So plan B, which is throw him in the stroller. And I was so irked he wouldn’t nap that he’s lucky I didn’t literally throw him the stroller. I had some work later so I knew the only thing that would get me through a day like this without a nap was a protein heavy meal. Egg dish here I come. Yes, my friendly waitress also heard about the nocturnal happenings. I’m really boring.

And of course my brain is not working so well. This is probably a big part of mom brain.

This is probably a big part of mom brain. But don’t take my word for it, check out this item in the science section of the NY Times this week. See, that sleep debt cannot be easily erased. And I haven’t slept through the night in 8 and a half months, so it’s a wonder I’m walking upright.

Semi-revived, I thought how this is an ongoing theme in mothers’ lives.  Sure, the baby stuff is hard on your sleep, but even later you have to get up early to get kids out the door, then maybe get yourself to your work. Or Susie is in the band and they need drivers for the big competition 200 miles away. And so on.

So, I want to start and ongoing thread.

I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I COULD… ( I ALMOST DID OR I DID)

I would love for you all to post a comment to finish that sentence.

I’ll start it off… I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I…

…put my daughter’s cereal this morning in my coffee cup.

…Asked my sister if my 8-year-old niece would like to nurse Rex. (I meant babysit, she and her mother babysit. Sheesh.)

…When Rex wouldn’t nap I called him the F word. (I didn’t scream it).

If you are more rested now, maybe you can remember the super sleepy days and share a FLIPPING tired memory.

Like “I’m so flipping tired, I tried to order pizza on my binoculars.”

23 thoughts on “I’m So Flipping Tired…”

  1. I’m so flippin’ tired I poured a bowl of cereal, opened the fridge to put the milk away, and put my cereal in there instead. Then I sat for a full 5 minutes trying to figure out why I had gone to the kitchen in the first place. My daughter cut her first teeth later that week, and thank god.

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  2. I’m so flippin tired I fell asleep on a stack of warm folded towels and missed picking my daughter up from preschool. She sat in the lunchroom and waited… but baby and I DID sleep for 20 minutes. Felt like a bad mom though…

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  3. I was so flippin’ tired I locked myself, baby and sister (aka babysitter) out of the house without a phone my first week back at work. We had to go to 4 houses on the block to find someone awake to call my husband (he was not pleased).

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  4. I was so flipping tired I put the gallon of milk in the furnace room instead of the refrigerator. I was so flipping tired that when my husband asked what time we were meeting Sarah the next day I responded “Sarah. So we will have to leave here by 11am.” He still won’t stop laughing at me about that.

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  5. I was so flipping tired of hearing my screaming baby that I did the only thing that would shut her up which was to turn the hair dryer on. For some reason it calmed her. I left the thing on and on the floor in the hallway outside her bedroom for so long that it burned an area of the carpet… I stood there watching the burned area grow larger and larger totally unwilling to turn the baby silencer off.

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  7. I am so flipping tired that when my 3 year old got enbroiled this am in her usual “morning fits” of trying to find something to wear that doesn’t make her squirm, cry, scream and wail “it’s BOTHERING me,” I rsnapped. I ran away from her, back to my room, jumped into bed and pulled the covers over my head and put my hands over my ears. Literally. She chased me into my room, climbed into mybed, crying and pulling at the covers, then pulling my hands off my ears, demanding that I pay attention to her, which i did of course. But for that fleeting moment, I really wanted to hide from her.

    I”m so flipping tired that i am incapable of conversation. I am dull witted, slow and ponderous.

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  8. I am so flippin’ tired that I absolutely must stay away from any dark shade of lipstick AT ALL, b/c I look like a freakin’ psycho.

    I’m so flippin’ tired that I opened up the dish cabinet, and found a gallon of milk in there.

    I’m so flippin’ tired that when I opend up the trunk of my van the other day, I found gallons of “must be refrigerated promptly!” $5.00 gallons of OJ in there.

    I’m so flippin’ tired that I happened to look down at my feet and saw that I had left the house with my slippers on that day. Can the errand running, have to return home.

    I’m so flippin’ tired that I’m stumped for an answer when people say, “good morning.” Huh, whaat?

    I’m so flippin’ tired that I find myself silently praying that some cheerful mama will not –please do not–attempt to start a conversation with me. Please, just let me push my son in the swing with minimal brain effort. Please.

    I’m so flippin’ tired that I don’t care if I fall asleep on the sofa at 8PM, with my apron still on. Just give me 30 mins. please…only to find myself still there at 5 in the morning.
    I’m so flippin’ tired that literally forget where I’m driving to half the time (make that 3/4 of the time…)

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  9. I’m so flippin tired that I…left the oven on last night and then left the house with the door wide open. And this am, I forgot to send my kids to school with their lunch (again)

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  10. I’m so flippin tired I put deodorant on my face.
    I’m so flippin tired I fell asleep during a meeting … with one other person … mid conversation. Man that was mortifying.
    I’m so flippin tired I cannot possibly come up with a new outfit every day so I just wear the same thing five days a week.
    I’m so flippin tired the bedtime reading of “Cat in the Hat” quickly morphs into technical jibberish ” .. I can fan with the fan, as I jump on the ball grid array and the use cases are on the server …”

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  11. Oh! AND I wondered why the skin on my face felt so funny…only to look at the bottle of stuff I just smeared on it and it read “Frizz-Ease.”

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  12. you guys make being sleepy fun! Love all of it. Lot’s of miss places milk. Think this is the mother’s version of “mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

    so many I relate to. Sitting or driving wondering why you came into the room or where you are going..very normal here! Running away from kid. yep.
    Barely being able to converse, check.

    Thinking I should take some of the humdingers and do a poll and the winner could get a prize. Or make it a regular feature and get someone to sponsor it! yeah, let’s talk monetize!

    Please keep them coming as you think of them and so will I.
    Virtual should rub to all.

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  15. After a good nite’s sleep, I remembered so many more I am so flippin’ tired moments.

    Like driving home from blockbuster with 3 movies stacked on the roof of my car. I thought everyone waving and honking were just being friendly…

    Like panicking (many times) that I had left the baby somewhere and quickly checking the rear view mirror to find him sleeping in the car seat.

    Like writing a thank you note to my friend and referring to her daughter by their dog’s name (no lie- she was pissed)

    Like getting dressed to shovel snow with coat, hat, boots when husband (in bed with bad back) mentions that I was not wearing pants. I thought that only happened in cartoons.

    It is amazing that we are doing as well as we are!

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  16. I was so flipping tired that I was looking all over the house for my diaper bag before heading out with my daughter that I didn’t realize I was CARRYING IT ALREADY on my shoulder…

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  17. I was so tired that I left a case of water on the bottom of the Target cart and drove home. I was just trying so hard to remember the baby. I did this two or three times in the first year of her life and then just gave up and bought a Brita filter.

    I was so tired that I answered the door barely dressed and scared the UPS man.

    I was so tired that I put my daughter’s dirty underpants into the washing machine without dumping the poo into the toilet first.

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  18. oye!

    Okay, I did the baby check just this morning. I strap him in the seat and am still worried he is not strapped in.
    I often am saying, “where is my phone?” ( it’s in my hand)
    Where are my sunglasses? they are on my head…two sets of them. And I’m so flipping tired and was sure Rex was about to nap, but as I write this he is crying from his pack and play and he is not going down. ( sob sob)

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  22. I am so flipping tired that stationary objects were waving in front of my eyes and when my friend called to ask how I was I said, “Salvador Dali lives in my eyeballs.”

    I am so flipping tired that I looked over at my Oxford English Dictionary and it looked like it was growing. I put my hand on top of it to stop it. Stop growing, dictionary.

    (Not a mom. Or on drugs. Just an extremely, extremely sleep-deprived grad student.)

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  23. I know I’m a few days late but I just came across this and laughed! And then I went back in my memory too….. not that long ago lol
    I’m so flipping tired that I:
    …….Strapped my son into his bucket carseat and walked out the door and got in the car without him.
    ………Got REALLY mad at my husband for putting the milk in the pantry again…. to which he laughed at me and said I did that…to be honost I believe him because I have no memeory of that time and he’s usually right. I did it nearly every day for like a month.
    ……….Called my husband from the car on the way to town and told him that I forgot my cell phone at home.
    ……..got really panicky because I thought I lost my son when he was a couple months old. Turns out he was sleeping in the Moby wrap that I was wearing.
    …….threw the dirty diaper in the hamper and then realized when I was about halfway back upstairs that I forgot to put a clean one on him.

    He’s now 20 months and I feel like I’m getting a very small portion of my memory back. I’m just glad that my husband is understanding enough to know that when I say I’m making grilled cheese he needs to supervise so it doesn’t get burnt (the longest one left on the griddle was about an hour).

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