Growing up, my mother was a world class thoughtful gift giver. We had very little money, so everything we got was a product of tremendous self-sacrifice (which I always appreciated, even as a child), came preciously wrapped and was accompanied by a hand-written poem teaser about what was inside. She died when I was 16, and receiving gifts became torture thereafter. I have a tendency to read a lot into the gift — I used to struggle not to be insulted by a thoughtless gift…to see it as a sign that I was not valued or loved by the gift giving cad… Now I”m ok with the cardigan or Wii game, as long as it seems like somehting I might like.

My husband, conversely, grew up in an environment where he received little but everyone showered gifts upon a baby sister, and his mother was a self-denying unhappy person who returned or shoved in the basement anything he ever got her. So he has HUGE anxiety about giving gifts, and HUGE expectation that I willl “mother” him with a sense of being cared about through perfect gift selection. It’s, frankly, a lose lose. I usually torture myself finding “the perfect” thing, which he looks at for three seconds and shoves in a closet (which, in turn, kills my desire to spend the effort), and I usually hate most of what he gets me because he shops according to his own taste (which is, at least with jewelry, frighteningly influenced by his mother’s taste) and not what he thinks I would like.

It’s gotten so controversial that we scrapped gift giving nearly altogether and now will, when we feel like it, occasionally shop together — take a day to just wander around some nice shopping center together and spoil each other with something nice that the other wants. Seems to mostly avoid the headache . . .

Daphne – I cannot BELIEVE the gift you described receiving from an ex. That’s either one compulsive dude, or someone who wanted to have your babies. Either way, am totally motivated to try to make such a doll for my daughter. Love the idea.

my dad always went crazy with the show stopper gifts.

my uncle went crazy creative with intricate flea market finds of things i mentioned years ago, wrapped with pine cones and berries.

my husband always does some theme and everything’s connected and it took forever to put together and i never even remembered i wanted it. but i do?

and i buy video games. or cardigans.

but i think we ladies are more nurturing/thoughtful on a day-to-day basis ,with the small, made-ya-a-sammich type things. gifts are when the guys get to shine – and they do.

Best part, the frozen steaks were part of a 10 pack. That’s right, they saved half for themselves.

And no he didn’t get steak knives, special sauce or any other gifts to go with them (or any cute backstory to the gift) – just MEAT!