I really love spending the morning with my son. It’s easiest if Vivien is in school, but even if there is a day off, and I have both of them and no other adult around, I’m fine. I’m like, come on, look at these cuties! I love being with them!
Sometimes I can feel that feeling coming on about 3:30. The voice inside of me that says, “Can someone else hold this kid for a minute?” I rarely have my spouse here at that time so that is why I use most of my nanny dollars for later afternoon early evening. And the strange thing is if I am alone with the kids at that time and strange thing happens, around 6:30/7p.m.
EVERYTHING IS OK.
Of course it was hell when Vivien was colicky at that time. But they can be just as they have been earlier in the day, but I feel antsy, more anxious, and feeling of, “Why didn’t I make plans?” comes over me. Why didn’t we go over to my mom’s? Why didn’t I invite a friend for dinner? Why didn’t I post a neon sign on my front door asking for people to talk to me?
I’m lucky. In a pinch I can pack them up and go to their daddy’s restaurant. Not as easy with two, but I’ve done it, and it’s a life saver. I beckon a waiter, “Please talk to me.”
As much as I would love a big house, I can’t leave the urban density. Think I would feel more lonely.
Well, I guess I could live anywhere… till 4pm.