February 22, 2010
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Healing Hunter Part 2
Posted by Daphne on Monday, February 22nd, 2010
I had linked before to my friend's blog about her journey fighting with her son and husband to save her young son's life. I have just read her latest entry: "Living life on the edge of fear."
It's not good.
I am stunned. I am so sad for them. I find it hard to believe in God when I see a lovely little boy who has fought most of his life, and now his mama is told they are out of chances. I don't know what to say to them. I think this is such an immense sorrow there is nothing adequate.
I am so sorry to any parent that has gone through a child's loss. My friend writes beautifully, even now.
I know, Daphne, I've been praying for them. They can't fall apart now…so many couples just can't take the stress of something like this. I pray they stay together.
I cannot even begin to think what it is like , the pressure to enjoy what time is left. How hard it must be to smile, so your son can see, when inside your heart weighs 100 lbs.
I can only cry and pray, there's is nothing else I can do. It is just something i cannot imagine being able to live through.
Makes all my financial woes so very petty.
too sad. I don't understand it.
This is the second little boy to lose his fight against cancer that I "know" of within a year. The first, I actually knew his mother, went to school with her from kindergarten thru graduation and Noah at the end had people all over the world sending him cards and gifts for an Early Christmas because he wouldn't be able to, and didn't…make it to Christmas last year.
I hate cancer. I hate that these parents have to watch their child be sick and endure painful, horrible treatments and then lose them anyway. I feel lucky that Rhys didn't suffer like that, then jealous that these parents at least had time with their children.
No parent should ever have to face this horror. No parent should be forced to outlive their child. It isn't right, and it isn't fair and I don't care what religion anyone is: if there were a god, truly a god…well there are so many horrors in this world and cancer is only one of them.
*shakes head* I'll stop now. It just makes me so angry…the helplessness and the hopelessness. The arbitrary inevitability of this.
It's not right. It's not fair. And it is NOT okay.
I'll just take from one who, to me, said it best and to whose words I turn to when the anger overwhelms me.
Dirge Without Music
by Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, — but the best is lost.
The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
Yes, I am familiar with that very poem (St. Vincent Millay).. I placed it last in a small video I did for the family after Hunter's demise. I think you selected a very appropriate piece of literature in terms of this kind of catastrophe..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrbxDBTSSMc
Those words, however angry, bring a degree of comfort in their way.