As you read this I will probably already be in NYC. I am leaving at the crack of dawn for a one-night trip to be on the Wendy Williams show. I was asked to be on because of Momversation and Cool Mom. Specifically, they would like me to riff on my bit about how I hate the cutesy names for private parts. That’s good TV. Looks like a fun show to do.
Today is also my Birthday!!! I’m kind of relieved to not have to worry about what I’m going to do on my bday. I will have dinner with a couple of friends in NY, and that’s all I will have time for. I do the show Tuesday morning, and then I want to get Wendy on my little video camera. She has a big, fun personality, and she is a mom, so I think that could be some good Cool Mom material. Then I’m going to have lunch with my fabulous stepdaughter and fly home.
Wish me luck!
This is not the best framed video, but Rex is so precious and perfect (my bias) that I didn’t want to redo it. I knew if I did and got the camera angle just right so my forehead wasn’t chopped then he might change his mood, cry, crawl away. And I’ve had my fill of me anyway. Much better to see more of him.
Rex has a few words now. “Bye-bye”, not at every departure, but sometimes. “Uh-oh:” his first words. And “momma.” Before you say “awww” here’s the rub. He says “momma” to me, to Dolly our babysitter/nanny/my wife, to Mark, and a little to Vivien. I get it. Saying “momma” is easier than “caregiver” or “bigger person upon whm my very survival depends on in this moment.” Really, maybe when he is 16 months, but not at 13 months.
If I had had this issue when Vivien was little it would have cracked me. I probably would have stopped working, dialed back Dolly’s hours and been real snitty if Mark took any parental control.
Oh wait. I did do that.
In Viv’s first year I didn’t work. I had a less help, and I did grab Vivien out of Mark’s hand sometimes in a “I can do it” way.
So, that’s why when Rex says “momma” to someone else I resist pulling down my pants and showing him my c-section scar and my droopy boobs. I take a breath know this is the trade off of getting to walk out the door and make some money or go out to dinner with a friend. And for him bonding with his dad.
“Da-da, da-da:” That’s me in the morning pointing to Mark. So far, it’s not working.
Yes, it’s pretty much on our house EVERY day.
Not only does Vivien love it, so do Mark and I. He is hunkered down right now with her watching it. Come on, that’s a clever show. Those boys can do anything. I like the writing, very funny.
Please note Mark’s new glasses. He got two pair; these are the slightly better ones. The others are rounder and light brown. I’m not a fan. We had a tiff about them since he bought them without me. Talk about “You don’t bring me flowers!” I can hear Babs and Neil Diamond now.
“When we first went out you liked that I came to pick our your glasses (which were way cooler and went better with his face than these ones).”
Him: “But my eyes are getting worse, and I just needed glasses.”
If you see steam roller I may chuck them underneath it when no one is looking.
Okay, gang, this was what I meant to post a few days ago. A light, little slice a life. No cameo by Macaulay Culkin. Just a mom having a rare moment.
Every time I would go to a prenatal checkup I saw the brochure to bank cord blood. Mark and I talked about it and read about it. But ultimately we didn’t think it made sense. If your cells had gone haywire, why would you need your own same haywire cells? You would want someone else’s. So, why pay for it for years and years? read once where it said that we should all just collectively bank our cord blood for whoever would need it. Then I did what I so often do. Forgot about it.
Now, a friend just sent me to Be the Match and there was a whole thing about donating your baby’s cord blood in order to save lives. In light of Hunter’s death, I’m more aware of the need for this. Hunter did get a bone marrow transplant, but maybe some other child could be saved by cord blood. If you are expecting, check it out. I wish I had.
This Momversation read my mind. I was a little bummed to realize at Rex’s milestone birthday I was not as thin as I was when as when Vivien turned 1. Not a huge difference, but a difference I covet. Of course I think I can give myself a break. I was a mom of leisure for Viv’s first year and with Rex I’ve been working, moving, salvaging finances, you know… recession fun! Not to mention being 3 and half years older.
How long did you use the new mom excuse?
You know when you get a glimpse of your child and you can see a preview of what they will look like older?, The other day Vivien allowed a clip to go in her hair. Very rare. I thought she looked so pretty and it struck me, “She looks like Chloe Sevingy,” the actress on “Big Love” who always shows up on the red carpet in avant-garde fashion. Maybe it’s a silly celeb-fixated culture thing to think ones we know look like someone famous.
I got a glimpse of myself the other day with no make up and very little sleep and thought I bore a striking resemblance to Bea Arthur.
And then there’s Maude…
It’s the small things that can make up a good life. Just being with your baby while they do their thing and you do yours. How a baby is perfectly content to play and explore as long as mom, or dad, is nearby. If mommy isn’t there, they cry and race to find you.
I love this time with Rex. We play for a bit and then I jump on the phone or the computer for a little bit and he is fine. My house looks like a small bomb went off, but that’s ok. As long as we are together.
Monday night at 11:25pm Hunter Zen Thawley passed away in the loving arms of his parents. If there is a super something that makes these calls, I can tell it that a mistake has been made. His parents wanted him to stay. This was a strong boy who endured so much and still had the most adorable giggle a little boy could have. He was days away from being 3 and half.
This is the edited version of the long video that I accidentally posted the other day. Heather Spohr was a real champ here. She was candid and honest about her own experiences as a mother who lost a child. I so appreciate her doing that. When I asked this question of Heather, Hunter was still alive. And even though his parents were told he would not survive I still had some magical thinking that there would be an 11th hour save.
The deep pain that my friends, Hunter’s parent’s, are now going through is beyond measure. I wish that I could lift some of that pain off of them. I’m glad they know that in his short life Hunter did not live, laugh, and suffer in obscurity. His tenacity, and the love of his parents, has inspired a lot of people. He was braver than I would have been, than most would be. By talking to Heather I hoped to maybe figure out someway to offer comfort to my friends and others who have lost a child or at the very least not to make their suffering any greater by doing or saying the wrong thing.
I will never forget you Iron Hunter. I promise.