July 26, 2010
Comments (13)
Share
Inappropriate kids gifts
Share
Moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect. Moms who feed their kids the right foods, get them to bed at the right time with few cartoons, that I do that, but you know? We are always keeping track of what we are doing good or not as good.
So, let's take a break from that for a minute shall we? Sometimes the satiric mom needs to have her say. I should have also done some "inappropriate things to say to kids" like:
"Are you getting enough sleep? You say you're 6, but you are looking more like 9."
"Nick Jonas is going to dump those brothers in a couple years. I hope they are saving their money."
Or "A man and a woman don't have to love each other in order to make a baby."
[...] So funny! Inappropriate kids gifts. (Cool Mom) [...]
and here I am trying to think of something that will help them spell!
When my ex was eight, his parents' friends gave him a bayonet. They put put away until they married and had a son, and then gave it to him on HIS eighth birthday.
A thong? An NWA cd? Oh, real life examples? My daughter got a bottle of mouthwash for her 5th birthday from one of her classmates. Not so much inappropriate but weird in a family-wide Aspergers kind of way.
my then-2-year-old was spinning around at a playdate where i was the "new" mom… she said she likes to get dizzy. i then looked at the other moms with a "wink" and said "mama likes to get dizzy, too…"
no one laughed. in fact, they all grabbed their kids for dear life. who are these moms?!?
In a similar vein, when my daughter was small (6-18 months-ish) I was bombarded by those "Read To Your Kids!" messages, but the books for that age range are, ugh. We had a hand-me-down Frog and Toad book in the mix, and so she'd look at the pictures and I'd make up wildly inappropriate story lines to amuse myself: Frog and Toad and the French Culinary School! And the next chapter: Frog and Toad Get Fitted for Prosthetics!
I also read aloud to her from whatever book I was reading at the time. I got dirty looks from my mother when I pulled out Stiff, by Mary Roach. I've only got so much "perfect mom" in me before I go crazy, ya know?
Daphne, I love you. It is so nice to hear from "non-leave it to beaver" moms. You know what I'm saying? I just moved into the Stepford's neighborhood, and I'm pretty sure these ladies cannot tell when I'm joking. Perhaps I invite them over for dictator bingo.
LOL you all have made me laugh.
BKC, you are reading words aloud, isn't that enough?
Jenny, I had something like that happen to me recently as well. At a park. They weren't our food group.
BKC, Jenny, and Erika: Please be my friends! I don't fit in this town and am the neighborhood nut…
come visit me…!!!! please?///
not too desperate sounding am I? help me, I'm in stepford mom land…
emails, please!! aschultze@wi.rr.com
daphne: you already know how I feel about you. you saved my mental life last year…xoxoxoxoxo
Daph- this is my favorite vlog so far. Watched it twice. So cute. Vivien is beautiful like her mom! Hey- call me btw or send note on schedule for weekend. Weather has been awful so keep in mind while packing. Hopefully warms up this weekend for the party. xoxo
figured Nor cal was chilly.
Hey, I just realized I should have called this kids games, not gifts. so flipping tired.
I'm so up for dictator bingo, course I love bingo
Some women I know loose their sense of humor when their children are present. Why is that?
I was at a splash part on post the other day…And I knew a big group of the women were there b/c I invited them, I didn't know all of them, but was familiar with some through facebook. Anywho…I had some teddy grahams out for my kids, and some other kid came up & I looked for a mom to approve or disapprove, and when I didn't see one, I went ahead & fed her. As she's taking one, I'm like, "Hey, what's your name?" She tells me. "Don't strangers have the best treats?" Yeah!
When her mom found her (20 minutes later…I'm not perfect, but REALLY?")…I was like, "It's alright, I gave her teddy grahams, she's not crying, and now she thinks strangers give yummy treats." ::smile:: My friend sitting next to me laughed. HARD. The girl's mom did not. Oh well.
Kathleen - it's b/c we don't want our kids to think we're human!