Cool Dad

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I have joined a club I don’t want to be a member of.  Monday, August 2nd my beloved father John Carl Brogdon passed away.  As people who have read coolmom know he had been in failing health for a few years.  Still, until this spring we could still go out to lunch or I would take him for a mani pedi.  One thing I have learned is even when you know it’s coming it still hits you like a ton of bricks.

I have never known life without my daddy.

My father with the then Mayor of NYC John Lindsay in the early '70's

He was a daddy (here with then Mayor John Lindsay of NYC in the early ’70′s at the US conference of Mayors). Georgian born, he had flaws from infidelity to being such a poor tipper we used to hide $5 bills under our plate for the servers to find.  But, he told us constantly that he loved us.  He was social and loved meeting people. He had a Southern charm and knew to ask people about their families. He may not have tipped well, but within seconds he knew where that server had gone to college, their major and their aspirations.

I am broken hearted, as are my sisters.  I was surprised  knowing that it was coming what a kick in the gut it is to hear, “Your dad has passed” as I did at about 5:40pm Monday night.

I want to write more about dad and this process.  His accomplishments and how much it meant to hold his hand. But, right now, I’m wiped out.  I cried like a little kid, hard and pleading for my daddy.  I have moments where I’m functioning just fine and then I’m crying.  I haven’t even brushed my hair today.

So, I might  not be the most prolific blogger this week. I –thankfully– had just taped some cool mom vids. Good, since I don’t feel very funny.  So enjoy them as they come up. I do believe laughter is healing and good for the world and my dad loved a joke.  One of my favorite lines from my dad, “The sign of a really dull person is when you ask them how they are doing, they tell you”.

My father believed that death was the end.  I’m a confirmed agnostic so I don’t know.  But, boy would I love see his smile again.

30 thoughts on “Cool Dad”

  2. Oh, Daphne, I’m crying for you. I lost my father,too, you never get over it. You learn a new way to live,but you never get over it.

    I’m so sorry, Daphne. I know Mark, Rex, and Viv will make it a little easier, but the pain will be so sharp.

    He was a very handsome man, with a 100 watt smile.

    Peace and prayers to you, sweet friend.

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  3. Wow, very touching blog. I cannot image what it is like to lose a father. Dad is an important person. My heart goes out to you Daphne. Barry

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  4. I’m so sorry Daphne. Chief among your father’s greatest accomplishments was that he helped raise a great woman. And how wonderful that he got to meet your children. He was so very handsome.

    All of the members of this particular club were inducted unhappily, but we keep the photos and memories close at hand. And tissues. We have those too.

    You and your family are in my thoughts.

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  5. So sorry for your loss Daphne. What a great post about your father and about your love for him! I’ll be thinking about you!

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  8. Daphne, I am so sorry. I have lost both my mom and my dad … my mom less than a year ago … so I know how it feels. Again, my deepest sympathies to you and yours. Blessings and Hugs!

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  11. Daphne,

    My heart goes out to you and your family, your dad was an awesome person he kept us all laughing and on our toes for the past 3 years. My staff and I will miss him so much, he shall never be forgotten he touched all our hearts in so many different ways I THANK YOU ALL for allowing him to be apart of our family . You and your sisters were such devoted daughters to him, he was very proud of his girls and grandchildren.I know he was a GREAT DADDY .
    Keep the great memories alive in your heart’s

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  20. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father when I was 21 and I know how hard it is. It does get better and better. I read somewhere you just have to walk through it and that is so true.
    You have written so beautifully about him, he sounds like a great guy.

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  22. I’m very sorry about your loss, Daphne. I can’t imagine what you are feeling right now, losing my dad is one of my biggest fears… Truly feel for you, hope you are OK-ish. Please be strong. Thinking of you and your family.

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  25. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time, and I’m not just saying that, really. I’m so sorry to hear of this loss.

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  26. Daphne,

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I too lost my father and knew it was coming but the finality of his death took my breath away and caused my human heart to skip a few beats. It takes time to wrap your mind around the loss and truthfully I’m not sure we ever totally get there, we are always a work-in-progress. I have an answering machine that I kept that has my Dad leaving a very loving message. I’ve gotten it out twice since his death and listened to it when my flesh just ached to hear his voice again… I cried like a baby and beamed with a smile all at the same time… Sending you a warm, loving hug from another daughter who knows the sense of loss you’re experiencing.

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  29. Daphne, my deepest condolences.

    Your post takes me right back to the day four years ago when we lost Mom. That feeling of being a adrift in the world without this parent is shocking and confusing, and you never stop missing their presence in your life.

    My thoughts are with you as you adjust to this new reality. He lives on in all the people who love him, even the little ones who did not know him well. Take care of yourself and them.

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  30. Daphne, I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. We grow up believing that our parents are invincible and will be with us always. I know the age my parents are at that their mortality is something I need to come to grips with.
    Your father sounds like a wonderful man with human flaws like us all. May you be have the time to grieve and be comforted by memories of him throughout your life.

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