Comments on: when the tide receds

By: Sara G.

Sara G. — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 05:09:55 +0000

Oh Daphne, this is so sad to read, but you’re a wonderful writer and convey feelings so well. My mom died almost two years ago in the same kind of lovely hospital setting as your dad, with the soft music and nature videos on the TV screen.

It is SO TRUE what you said about continually bringing up in conversation your loved one who has died. I remember a few months after my mom died I was spending the day with a close friend, and no matter what we did or where we went I’d keep saying things like, “Oh Mom would have loved this, it looks just like something she’d get for the house.” It was a steady stream of “Mom this” and “Mom that.” At one point, I started laughing and said to my friend, “I never would have gone on and on about my mom in this way if she were still alive, but now that she’s dead, everything seems to be about her.” I think there’s something very sweet about that.

It’s sad that your dad is no longer here but you never have to stop loving him…you get to love him forever, and that’s a good feeling. I hope you’re doing okay, Daphne. Take care….

By: Daphne

Daphne — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:48:40 +0000

I just love reading all these heartfelt comments. you are such a nice people. I am so glad that my dad’s heart comes across. Thank you so much.

By: Angelica

Angelica — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 07:56:31 +0000

Dearest Daphne: Came across your lovely website and this article caught my eye (and teared it up as well). I was star-gazing this past weekend while camping and realized how fleeting and amazing life is… it seems that your father was this amazing presence in your life. At the risk of sounding cheesy, please note that his physical presence is gone, but his spirit will always be with you, much like the stars above us. Know that you had such a special relationship with him and that he would be proud of you and your accomplishments (like your baby). You are in my dearest prayers and send you much love as a fellow human on earth who will have to eventually deal with the death of her own parent(s) as well.

xo, Angelica

By: Taryn

Taryn — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 10:03:11 +0000

What a lovely post, it speaks volumes of your love and admiration for your Dad.

Big hugs, much love.

By: Hadey

Hadey — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 18:13:37 +0000

Daphne, I haven’t lost a parent yet, but I am sitting here teary-eyed at your memories of your father. I am very close with my dad, and there are times when I feel claustrophobic when I think of the day he won’t be here anymore.

What a beautifully written tribute to your dad. Not only were you lucky to have him as a father, but he was lucky to have you as a daughter. I can’t claim to know the right words to say to you to help you deal with your grief, other than to say you are in my thoughts, and I hope you find the strength to keep making it through each day. Keep loving your dad in his passing as you did when he was here. He will know it!

By: Erika

Erika — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 11:59:09 +0000

I am sobbing over here. Although I am so sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this, you have written so beautifully about a relationship that we should all be so lucky to have with our parents. He sounds like he was an incredible dad and husband. This was a great tribute to him.

By: InDueTime

InDueTime — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:44:26 +0000

I’m praying for you Daphne. ((((((Daphne))))))))

I wish I knew the words to ease your pain. Hang in there. xo

By: Micheline

Micheline — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 22:30:10 +0000

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s passing, Daphne. How wonderful that you were able to spend some quality time with him in his last days.

Your post got me choked up because I lost my mom in February 09, and we were very close. There are good days and bad days still, but the pain and the loss don’t feel quite so raw anymore. Sending love to your and your family.

By: Daphne

Daphne — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:11:08 +0000

OMg losing a parent so young. That is so awful. Geez, make me want to shut my sorrowful mouth!

Lou, I’m so sorry about your mom. Big hug to you all.

By: Lou

Lou — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:24:19 +0000

Daphne, it is strange how similar our situations are/were … you with your dad and me with my mom 8 mos ago. My heart aches for you … been there – done that.

XOXO

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 05:33:35 +0000

Daphne, you have me crying. For so many reasons. I’ve read that with great love comes great pain.

My father passed away when I was in the first grade, I have a few sweet memories of a smiling, patient man, but not much more. But that is enough to give me an aching heart at his loss, 40 years later.

I cannot even begin to imagine how heavy your heart must feel.

Cannot imagine.

I love you.

By: Rani

Rani — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:57:53 +0000

I lost my mum when I was 10, I don’t have the memories and conversations to keep me going. On the other hand, I never really grieved because I didn’t really understand what I had lost.

In some ways I envy you Daphne, for having had a relationship with your father, memories to cherish. But I also feel great sympathy, you know what you have lost and that must be devastating. I dread going through the same when my dad eventually passes away.

Thank you for writing so beautifully. Your father was entrusted with the lives of you and your sisters, he gave you what he could and obviously loved you. That is a great great thing.

Thank you again and my deepest sympathies.