It’s starting to all catch up to me. The great recession, not enough sleep, losing my dad. Today is his birthday and I have a pit in my stomach. I keep trudging, moving, working, volunteering at Vivien’s school, living life. But, I just want to crawl into my bed and weep and sleep.
I said to a friend the other night “I peaked in the ’90′s” he said
“we all peaked in the ’90′s”
There are so many lovely moments in my life, chief being my kids. Also nice to sip a cocktail at The Tar Pit with my sister ( which I will be doing to toast my dad). But, dang don’t you feel like we just need a break? Some relief from this cloud, or maybe that is just my own stuff.
The other night I went and saw Michele Obama and Jill Biden stumping for Barbara Boxer. After Madoff I become far less political, but decided to go since I could walk there from my house and I like the first and second lady and I am voting for Boxer. All three spoke well and at one point Michele Obama was saying something along the lines, “we know change hasn’t come fast enough for many people” It was a good speech and I was feeling that old juice from ’08. Then she said, “remember how you felt on election night?” The crowd cheered. I cheered too thinking how proud I was that our country had moved past racism. I remembered being with my family and friends at Campanile crying with joy and feeling hopeful and patriotic. Then she said, “remember how you felt on inaguration day!” The crowd cheered.
I did not. That was one of the worst days of my life. That day as thousands bundled up in the cold to see the swearing in Mark and I were signing the escrow papers to sell our house. My dream house. I looked down at the floor. I couldn’t shake the sad feeling even as I applauded at the end.
Election night, my dad was alive, we spoke and he was a gracious Republican that night, I was pregnant with Rex, I was settled. Now, my financial security, house and my dad are gone.
Look I know I am a lucky person. I really believe I am, I’m just pooped and sad. I’ve been downsized on my TV show, The Fashion Team, to that of a contributing correspondent, not one of the main hosts. That stings a bit, I won’t lie.
If I could just get a little sleep., that would be change I could believe in.
Don’t fool yourself, you’re at your peak now. Everything you’re doing is amazing. I keep wondering lately, where are the commenters (Good Bite, Parents Ask, that Momvo place). Such polished work, the desire for community, yet where are your peers?
I’ve seen you be so open in the online world, and productive in television still (read your style comments in cool magazines), yet down to earth and easy to reach. Plus that mom stuff nobody’s really interested in.
I think everything disappointing is just moving itself into better places. You’ll create it all (plus your husbands majorly contributive acts), just rest.
Daphne, I understand. Coming up to the 1 year mark of losing my mom and that is exactly how I feel … want to get in bed and shut out the world. If it isn’t one thing, it is another and that is life, I know, but I agree … a break would be nice.
Sorry to hear about Fashion Team as I love catching it and seeing you … always good fun. Their loss, truly. Love all your momversation clips, though!!!
Always know I will get a good laugh when you are one of the speakers.
Bless You
Thank you both. I know, me and my pity party! Lou, I feel for you !
Jessica, thanks for positive view.
I’m sorry you’re in the doldrums.
I lost my dad this summer and it’s casting a pall over everything.
My hope is that the Dems taking such a pasting on Tuesday marks the low point and we can all start moving towards blue skies again.
(I’m hardly a party-ticket voter, but the Tea Party movement is sending me racing into the arms of their most likely competitors.)
I know, I often work in opposition to large movements, like when Obama fever made me more pro Hillary.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel!
Interesting what you say about moving towards blue skies…maybe that is just acceptance. been thinking a lot about that.