My dad…one year later

It’s been little over one hour since I looked at a computer and realized it’s exactly a year now that my father passed.  I was busy today.  Taped a few Hersay’s, met a friend who is going through a very hard time, ran to get a check so my checks didn’t bounce.  I was in a co worker’s office and she was going to show me a talking parrot video. I saw the time.
“I’m sorry,” I said, ” But, I have to have a nervous breakdown right now.”  I cried and my co worker was comforting.  I went down stairs and called my sister Cecily.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  The slightly crazy feeling of last year came back in a flash.
This year went fast.
We shared memories of my father ( as I did with my other sister in the morning).  I am so happy that tomorrow my family, my sister’s and my mom are going to camp near the ocean.  I really need to be with them.  My dad loved the ocean.  He wanted us to enjoy the sun, the ocean, to smile. It was so very important to him that we would have each other.
But, I do feel exhausted.  The grief drains me.
I just came across this picture from my wedding. ourwedding05 075

My dad kissing me moments after I was married.  Why haven’t I blown this up poster size?

6 thoughts on “My dad…one year later

  1. Oh Daph, big hugs to you today! Your dad lives on in all who loved him and miss him. I’m glad you’re all going to spend some family time together. I can’t wait to hear about your camping experience!

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died 8 years ago this month, and the first year was really, really tough. It doesn’t get any easier, but it gets less painful, less intense. Kind of. Take care of yourself and enjoy family times, like you are. It’s the best thing.

  3. thanks… Today I feel better and I realize how foggy I felt yesterday. it goes in and out
    um, well, the Tents are already assembled, so it’s more glamping

  4. Lots of Hugs and Kisses from our family to yours.

    May the Lord bless you and give you peace.

    It’s been about 4 years since my mother passed away. There are good days and bad days, but that first year was the worst.I don’t even know how I was able to function properly. I didn’t. I was in therapy most of the time.

    Every so often I STILL need to call on her to get everything out, talk it through and find some answers.

    This year, when the anniversary of her death came, I never even realized it because I was so busy planning my little boy’s birthday party.
    HE turned my mourning into joy.

    It gets better.


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