Do You Judge Big Families? (Momversation…Sort Of)

This was a Momversation experiment I had long wanted to do — get to talk to the moms in PERSON. Blogging and vlogging can be a lonely business so I had asked Rebecca Woolf, my blogging friend, who lives nearby, to come over and do a Cool Mom with me. Alas, the day she was supposed to come over was also the last few months of her carrying twins, so she was understandably not feeling top dog. Cut to Kelly, the producer of Momversation, writing me to ask if I would be up for a shoot with Jessica and Rebecca in the flesh. Would I!? Jessica is on the other side of the hill from me, but another mom blogger I enjoy conversing with. Not only does she have a great dry wit, but my husband knows her dad from the Spago days and LOVES him.

Anyway, the gals came over to my home, renamed “the Momversation studio” for the day. Great to see Rebecca — first time since she gave birth to the twins. The thought was this might be a new way to tape Momversation, but after watching it, the senior producer nixed the idea. Was it me or my home styled hair?  I don’t know, but the three of us said, “The people must see this!”  Because use kvetching at my kitchen table is pretty important. It’s not on the main landing page of Momversation, but it is up there somewhere.  So, think of this as the Vault.

Let me know what you think. I liked it, but I would have killed the non-stop momver music bed that runs through it.

Oh, and do you judge big families?

17 thoughts on “Do You Judge Big Families? (Momversation…Sort Of)

  1. BEST MOMVERSATION EVER!!! Coolmom/ The View/ momversation combo is a major winner, loved it!
    Rebecca, a large family with the wonderful qualities you seem to have can only be a positive thing. Ignore the negativity and enjoy your glorious family.

  2. I also have four kids and although I have never felt judged I know people with 4 or 5 kids that have and have even had rude comments said to them. I don’t live in LA and I’m sure that plays a role in it but I seriously don’t get it. If reducing the amount of kids we have is our way of helping the environment then this is a sad world we live in. there are better ways to tackle that issue.
    If parents can afford them and there is a deep want for children and the mom isn’t mental because she’s had more then her brain can handle then there should be no judgement when people have babies.

  3. This is a terrific momversation, You three are great
    together. I wish there were more of these where
    we could see you reacting to each other.

    .

  4. Trev as the youngest of 3 I feel you!!! In my the compendium my sister did of my dad’s life when he passed there is a lovely photo of him holding his children and grand children as newborns, EXCEPT me. I’m probably letting Rex down as well. Hopefully this blog will still be here! ( probably will be like a rotary phone when he is an adult)

    Glad you all liked the format. Just heard they are going to post it on the MAIN momversation page after all…

  5. I have four boys, and when I go out with all four at once, I get stopped all the time, but have never felt judged. It’s always compliments on now cute they are or how I must have my hands full. The only downside, is the frowny face when some say “awww, no girls?”. Grrrrrr…

  6. My mother came from 5 kids in her family and my dad came out of 16 kids in his family.. When they had me, they stopped. My dad wanted to flourish an only child with everything she’s ever wanted and never have to share. Now that I have ONE, I’d love to have more, but .. we’ll see. On the otherside, when I see a family of 4 or 5, I’m just amazed.. and a little jealous of how fun their house must be amid chaos and fights and love all around.. As a child, I was sooo lonely ALL THE TIME. I made up friends and elaborate stories in my head and I still live in that world. I felt like I lived in a museum growing up: everything quiet, clean, perfect. FREAKY.
    Love being in a house with a big family. It’s so awesome with the sticky floors and noise everywhere.

  7. Awww, I’m so sorry people make her feel that way. I am so glad she shared her perspective on people’s rude comments about large families. I here it from my mom all the time because I want one more kid, and I only have one! She thinks I’m crazy and that I’m never going to have a life. I see children as a blessing. I’m reading a book right now called shepherding a child’s heart just so that I can properly go about rearing my son who is in his terrible two’s right now. I say, if you can rear your kids to be good citizens and loving people, have all the kids you want! I am guilty of asking a mom with 8 kids, “How do you handle so many kids?” I plan on apologizing. Thanks for the momversation!

  8. Love this. Reminded me of the old Momversation.

    Unfortunatlely yes I judge and for most of the previously mentioned reasons. I have two kids and want more. Hubbie believes that the planet can’t hold anymore so were are supporting the replacing ourselves arguement. Financially it would be a strain. We would need a new car, a Prius won’t fit in 3 car seats. Possible a new house 2 bedrooms unit so pretty squashy. Plus a million of ‘little’ things.

    I think what sometimes comes across in looks or comments as judgement is wanting to understand how the people come to the outcome of having more kids. I look and want to question did you think about these issues, what was the arguements for and against etc, etc. For me it is facination and wishing I was that person. So a judgement yes, but not as negative as you would think.

  9. I agree, I am curious about people’s process… or more often than not it’s the “no plan” routine I think.
    happymommy81- I don’t know if you have to apologize for saying that, depends how you said it. I think of my friends with large families as I wrestle my two to bed. I figure those moms have a better system than I.
    Kim, the “no girls?” comment is so lame. My dad did not like it when people said to him, “no boys?” He would snap, “what do I want a boy for?”

  10. I am an only child but always wanted a big family myself. We have one little girl (5.5 months) already and will be hopefully adding to our gang soon.
    I found this video so interesting…

  11. W have a huge family. My husband I both had kids before we got married and we have one together. So when you are walking down the street with 5 kids people stare, ALOT. I have only had one person ask me if I was the nanny other than that people just look at me weird.

  12. People are just ridiculously critical, I have one child and constantly get badgered about when, if, why, how, I plan on having the next one. Whatever you do, some people just won’t leave you the hell alone. Loved this momversation by the way.

  13. I like this format much better than the pulled out single momversation slots.

    It’s too hard to watch when it bounces mom to mom.

    This? This is like eavesdropping on an awesome conversation in a restaurant.

    I much prefer it.

  14. Alexandra, I can tell you have been catching up on your cool mom. good miss you.

    Glad to hear your take. I feel the same way. maybe comment on the momversation page as well so the “powers” see it

  15. this is my favorite style momversation yet! but, i know you can’t get together in person all the time. the style w/3 of you with headsets to hear each other is the closest to this for those not geographically close. i really dislike the single person momversations… not everyone has your humor to carry them thru a monologue!

  16. I have a 6 year old and 4 year old twins, one looks like my husband, one looks like me, and one looks like someone else’s kid. I have people ask me if they are all mine all the time. Once a man asked me if all 3 were mine and when I answered yes, he said matter-of-factly, “Oh, different fathers.” And I have people ask me if my twins are “natural”. I just smile and say: I hope you have twins.

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