pre travel jitters

I think I become OCD before I go on a big trip.

I have pulled our passports out 4 times already and will do so 10 more times before we leave.

I always have the soap opera look, “Did I leave the stove on?” expression as I check, recheck and check again. I’m not a nervous flyer.  But, I do worry about leaving things that are essential.  Passport, credit card, children.

Of course this trip I am purposefully leaving a child behind. This has it’s tension.  I was up late wrapping little presents for his aunt and baby sitter to give him while we are gone.  Then I started thinking will he be wondering “where is mommy?” more when he gets a present from her?  How am I harming my child this time.   Finally went to bed hugging him next to me. His skin never seemed silkier, his breath never sweeter, his little hand holding mine.  The magic of holding his hand.

I warned Vivien, “When he leaves with Aunt Cecily today don’t cry.  He will follow our lead. We have to be strong for him.”  I was really telling myself.  I’m having my sister come before we go to the airport as I want him to feel he is leaving us, not the other way around.

The leave takings are always the hardest, and once a trip has started you lose yourself to the trip.  But, this is new ground for me.  One I purposely set out on, filled with misgivings.  Like going to grad school.

I pray Rex has a great, fun week playing with his cousins and friends, knowing his aunts and uncles  are there for him.

My mantra as I board the plane “it’s only a week.  It’s only a week.”  7 sleeps is what I said to Rex. 7 sleeps away from the soft skin, the sweet breath, the little hand.

9 thoughts on “pre travel jitters

  1. I frequently travel without the family and it’s not a big deal. These are usually 2-4 day trips, I leave a detailed itenerary for the family to follow in my absence, and I’m back before they know it.

    But on my next trip I am taking my daughter. And *not* my son. No big deal, right? Except that my trip is to Orlando and I’m surprising my daughter with a day at Disney including fanciness at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and lunch with the Princesses (though I’m so not into princesses) because she’s at the perfect age for that and will likely have outgrown it by the time we all go as a family for a real Disney vacation.

    I don’t feel guilt about leaving him and only taking my daughter. But I’ll feel horrible if he’s terribly upset that he didn’t get to see Mickey.

    My guilt will surely yield some great souvenirs!

  2. Pingback: pre travel jitters | deborahtox

  3. I HATE leaving my children, even for an evening. But when I am home I hate being there to!!! TOTALY GET IT!!! Love your site will be stoping by!

  4. Your writing is becoming amazing. Loved reading about your recent travels, how you dealt with the emotions of your children, and of course the creative still shots. Also love that you require guests for your morning talk show to come to YOUR house, now matter how “revered” they dream they are. Hey, didn’t Rebecca interview Drew Barrymore once for her blog…maybe she’s available.

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