it’s getting real

We are now 36 hours from the close of Campanile.  It’s been a month long wake.  Great to see people, lots of drinking, yet tinge of sadness.  It’s hard to write about as I’m going through.  I did finally cry yesterday.  I was talking to a total stranger. A friend of a waiter who had a kind face and without expecting I blubbered for a few seconds.

My sister’s said “we want to be there for you for the last night, to support you.”  Really, why?  I thought at first, so deep is my survival denial.  But, now it’s sinking in.  The epicenter of my husband’s professional life and that which we schedule most of our family life around is closing it’s doors.  Forever.

PACKING UP Mark's OFFICE

Will there be other projects, jobs?  Sure, but the place where my husband cemented his reputation, where I accidentally walked in one day and met the man I would marry and have babies with is closing.  Forever.

I saw the chef and restaurateur who are taking over the building in there the other day looking at the space with their architect.  Sizing up their remodel.  I said nothing.  I turned away.  LIke seeing a body measured for a coffin before it’s cold. That chef blabbed to a food blogger before Mark could speak to his staff.  I have nothing to say to him.

This reminds me of when I had to sell my house years ago post Madoff.  One more fucking loss.

I am an optimist and I always try to keep it together for my kids and show them that no matter what the core is our family.  But, I have to find a way to process this, feel it so I can move on.  I think that’s often the hard part for parents. How do you go through your own emotional crap without inflicting it on your kids?

I’m going to shoot “Vivien’s Campanile” today.

campanile kid

My support, sisters, mom, niece

A video of how she has seen it. Per her request I cannot share it outside of our family.  I want to record her memories, her special hiding places.  My dear step daughter Vanessa has come out from NYC for the close ( and happily missing Sandy).

siblings

It’s great to have her here.

our friend Jack
My sister Cecily and Mark

Hugs from friends and regulars

I still am not clear how I feel… maybe next week I’ll know.

10 thoughts on “it’s getting real

  1. I’m tearing up as I read this. My thoughts are with you, Mark and your family. Maybe I’m just a mean Detroit girl…but I hope no one goes to that new restaurant.

  2. Dear Daphne
    It IS a huge loss. You said it right – the epicenter of so much in our family. I feel the pain for you, the kids, for us all. And especially for Mark. This was his creation and his “art studio”. It is a time to grieve and not push those feelings away. Wish i could be with you all tonight for the wake.

  3. Stay strong… I know that it’s hard to think about the bright side of the worst things while they are happening, and maybe you shouldn’t think about the good side now, you should simply analyze what happened and let all your emotions out so you can proceed with your life and be able to start all over again. When the time is right, you will be able to see the positive things behind all that happened… Cheer up !!!

  4. I came in tonight to wish you farewell…. but I was too early. I remember part of the reason why I opened 3Twenty on La Brea was because of Campanile anchoring us all and proving that fine dining can exist in the area. It was, and will continue to be a Los Angeles icon. We will all miss Campanile.

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