if I was in Ireland I would be dead

sorry not funny this one…

A few years ago if I was in Ireland I would have died.

I would have never went on to have Rex.  My daughter would be raised without a mother.

My husband would be a widower.

When I was about 16 weeks pregnant when I miscarried.  The woman in Ireland who died had miscarried at 17 weeks. The first couple of days I didn’t feel that different physically.  Emotionally I was a wreck. The baby to be was a little girl.  They had said she was healthy.  I had made a long list of names. We had told my stepchildren about her.

Guided by denial and bad advice I didn’t immediately get a D and C.  Instead I hemorrhaged in the Ferry Building in San Francisco, in a hotel, in Napa.  I wore 3 adult diapers on the flight back home, after my doctor screamed at me to come home, that were soaked with blood.  I went into a very painful labor.

I was rushed to the ER.  I have NEVER felt that kind of pain.  I was screaming, “please help me, please help me.” as I was put under.  I woke up hours later still screaming for help, but  soon realized the absence of pain in my body.  The absence of the fetus that was going to be my second daughter. I didn’t mourn her at that moment, I was so happy to be free of pain and alive.  I was hooked up to a packet of blood.  I had lost so much blood I was getting transfusions ( thank you nameless people who donated your blood).

I was very weak.  People needed to help me with Vivien.  I was also starting to get very emotional about having lost the baby.

the video I did about the aftermath back in ’08 

However, I was alive.  I lived and because of that Rex lived.

IF I was in Ireland I could have died, or any of the backward countries who put religion, politics, and all the rest disguised misogyny BEFORE the health of a women.

IF you have not yet read the story of this woman  who died in Ireland, please do so now. This is a human rights issue.  The media is making me CRAZY.  They say she was denied an “abortion”.  That is a political term for dilation and curattage.  She had had a miscarriage.  The doctors refused to do a D and C.  This lovely woman could have been like me.  She could have lived. She could have gone on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I’m so glad I live in America.  I’m so glad that we have an awareness of not letting religion dominate our laws.  Have the Anti Choice brigade made inroads to limit reproductive freedom here like in Kansas?  Yes, sadly they have.  It’s up to us to make sure that it doesn’t go further.

A doctor should do what he needs to do in order to save his patient.  Not to please a deity.

 

7 thoughts on “if I was in Ireland I would be dead

  1. I’m sorry you had to go through such a devastating experience but I thank heaven that you are alive and well! I appreciate too that you pointed out how the media and anti-choice zealots are twisting the English language to serve their purposes. Reproductive freedom is a basic human right! Thank you for standing up for all women everywhere!

  2. Oh, Daphne! Holy sh*t! Thank you for sharing such a personal experience to point out how shameful, pointless and backward the anti-abortion movement is.

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