full body sanitizer?

on my way home from dropping off my kids today..which resembled Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride due to copious amounts of street consctruction.. I heard a doctor who has treated Ebola and other fun diseases that it helps to have a hand sanitizer that a gloved hand doens’t have to touch… I can the pumping action?

Put that on my list!  Althouth sometimes I wonder if hand sanitizers just make us Feel like we are protecting ourselves.

I just picked up a jug size container of it for my kid’s school.  Though at a school it is probably like holding back the tide with a broom ( cut to kid rubbing his snot with back of his hand. Oh, wait, that’s me)

Rene Zellweger, what is going on?

She has Jennifer Greyed.  It’s a verb now.  It means to have plastic surgery where you look good, pretty even, but not like your former quirky cute self. rene z new face

More on it here.

Look, I don’t blame her.  She was a big deal for a while.. then had this lull in her career because Hollywood only lets 2 woman have careers at a time, she has a minute marriage to Kenny Chesney and then went all Meg Ryan…. well, she looks better than Meg Ryan.

If I had the money I would totally have an eye job.  Clearly I’m not the only one.  Plastic surgery is going gang busters.  As this infographic shows ( I love infographics)

stats on plastic surgeryHang on, laser hair removal is considered Plastic Surgery?  Then every Armenian I know has “gone under the knife”.    Being in my 40’s I paid close attention to this part of the plastic surgery website. “The 40’s are a time when the aging process really begins to set in.”

No shit.

We typically start to see the earlier signs of aging around the eyes and forehead. The skin around the eye is prone to wrinkle and show redundancy.

redundancy’ is a polite term for extra skin.  As in, that amount of skin hanging over your eyeball is really redundant.”

The upper eyelids and forehead can begin to droop and give a tired or sad appearance. Thus it’s no surprise that patients between the ages of 40-54 are likely to undergo an eyelid and/or brow lifting surgery in order to minimize these changes. The lower eyelids are treated by removing or tightening skin as well as treating fat pockets. 

-Years ago I was told that Ford models where all made to get rid of their fat pockets in their teens.  They sucked out the fat and put it in a straw for them to consume with lots of cigarettes.

But, it’s not just those in front of the camera’s.  Even Mormon’s want to look pretty in this life.

From Realself.com ” Surprisingly, Salt Lake City topped the list with almost five surgeons per 100,000 residents, beating out Miami, San Francisco, and even L.A. New York City did not make either list.”

realself cities with the most plastic surgeons

One thing I loved about Miami when I lived there is that everyone is so honest about their work.  They will walk around with bandages.  Unlike SF, where those crunchy, self important, rich liberals hide out in their $100 t-shirts till the stitches come out out.

There are always friends who say, “Oh, don’t ever get an eye job.”  Thanks, but I have to hold still with eyes closed after I apply liquid eyeliner or the ‘redundant’ part of my right lid gets  it’s own drawn on mustache. Plus, the upside as having been only moderately successful in my professional life, no one really notice.  The downside of only having been moderately successful in my professional life means I can’t pay for it though.  Maybe a yard sale?

Wait, I’ve got the recessionista fix.  Walk around like this.

non surgical eye lift

non surgical eye lift

 

best marriage sex advice ever

Leave this video playing in the room when your husband is in the room.

Your welcome!

Not to mention the fact that if I’m awake I want to watch House Hunters international or some mumbling English chaps investigating crimes.  ( By the way, why don’t they ever put on gloves at a crime scene on Inspector Lewis?  Don’t they watch CSI or Luther?)

When does Thomas chug along?

“Rex, you never use your train table anymore.  May I give this to someone who will use it?”  No way.  He wants it.  All those train tracks, all those trains are never touched, but the table stays.  It is helpful when I vacuum his floor.train table

The big days of Thomas have declined.  A day I once hoped for.

 

But, he still likes his Thomas desk. thomas the tank desk So, how long does is the residual nature of a beloved early childhood character?  I think it goes pretty deep.  I just recently bought the first Partridge Family album.  Putting on “Umbrella Man” take me back to the halcyon days of sitting on our old concrete porch staring at the record play on my red and white battery operated record player.  The Bell Record label going round and round.

I’ll never be able to get rid of that table.

 

 

the mother shoes

I look particularly awful in this video, but it cracks me up.  Also, the shoes you see at the end, the Danskos I’m still wearing.  Well, in summertime I’m wearing flip flops and because of global warming summer is now 10 months long, but I have thrown the cloggy shoes on.

One moment in the last year where I thought, I have to start wearing better shoes …. I was in a business meeting ( I work on my husband’s restaurant/ catering biz) and a cute young guy looked down at my shoes and said, “oh, are you in food service as well?”  Ah, yeah I said.  But, I wanted to say, no, I’m over 40, married with kids and I’ve given up, but you Mr. Full lips are going to make me at least put on my Stuart Weitzman low heeled pump.”

I clomped away.