renewal

One of the things I love about America in general, and even more so the promise of the West is that one can remake themselves.  That it matters less out here in California than in older societies where you born, you are less bound to tradition. Still, we have done some AWFUL non progressive things out West.  Japanese internment camps jump to mind as I’m reading a great book on the subject.  Whether it be with education, career, or avocation we can change ourselves.  Now, with Caitlyn Jenner,caitlyn jenner gender change might seem more possible to people.  It’s a radical leap.  I will not pretend to always feel comfortable when I see a trans guy or girl.  Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes amusing, sometimes upsetting.  Especially when it’s a hooker in Hollywood and I am glimpsing a bit of a downtrodden life.

I do admire Bruce Jenner’s change because I think it’s hard to really change yourself.. let alone your gender.  I look and dress an awful lot like I did 30 years ago.  My eyebrows are plucked, but I still wear leggings.  A friend at my wedding said my dress reminded her of my prom dress.  Others change more drastically.  Some people change their name. My mom changed her first name.  Why not?  No one asks us what name we want.

Biology does not define family.  I feel that keenly since losing my brother, of non bio origin.  Some have said, ‘Oh, but he wasn’t your REAL brother.”  (teeth grind)

So, let’s do this.. let’s let everyone define themselves for themselves.  Names, occupation loved ones, and I guess identity.  It’s a stretch. It’s not always easy to go along with, but what the hell?  Let’s humor each other.  That’s what friends do.

The last call I got from Jeff was when he was concerned about a friend of ours whose adult child was transitioning.  It was a surprise as we had known the person since childhood, but he wanted to know the well being of our long time friend, the mom.  Even for liberally minded, it’s a transition for the family and friends as well.

“Is she okay?”  He wanted to know.  Not knowing what deep torment he was in at the time that would cause him to take his own life 6 weeks later. I so wish he had felt he could have come back home and start anew.  He didn’t have to be a success, that he could be poor and we would figure it out.  He had an idea of what he wanted to be and wasn’t getting there.  How great to be able to say, “I’m going to not only change the way you see me, but how I see myself.”  After someone you love takes their life someone else you know being trans gender starts to feel like “Please pass the potato salad.” Not that important.

I know a lot of people are going to make fun of Caitlyn Jenner.  Lots of Bruce Jenner jokes.  I know trans kid will still be made fun of.  But, it would be better to be kind.  If they want to dress up and blow a bugle and call themselves Teddy

Arsenic and old lace

Arsenic and Old Lace

Why not salute?

Beside, Bruce was a handsome man and Caitlyn is a nice looking woman.  Bully for her.

10 thoughts on “renewal

  1. I agree that people should be free to be who they are but someone who has been involved in that money making machine, bartering personal details of their life ( all staged for the camera ) in exchange for fame and money, I personally have no respect for.

    • she does have the Kardashian cooties, I get that, but I do think it can be turned to good if it helps other people feel better about themselves.

      • I hope you’re right, but the average person, with an average income could never dream of achieving this look that’s been so proudly presented on that cover, photographed by a celebrity photographer. I do hope it gives people hope, I hope it makes people braver and more accepting.

  2. Thank you for your post. I know first hand how hard it is to adjust your thinking to someone who has to change. I try to be supportive and positive, but can’t always deal with it. My son told me that the greatest thing to happen for trans is Bruce Jenner, he knows how people look at him now. He said it will make it easier for all trans.

  3. Well said, Daph. I think that we all have our own paths in life and we should just try to accept, support and celebrate ourselves, and each other, every day! xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *