Vaccinate already

I’m super chuffed that California’s Gov.  Brown has signed into law one of the nations toughest vaccinations laws.  In short it does away with a religious exemption.  If there is a medical reason why the child cannot be vaccinated that works, but not someones personal belief.  If the child is not vaccinated they cannot attend schools.  They can go to home based schools.

A lot of good, nice, smart people feel strongly there is a link between vaccinations and conditions their children later developed.  But, no cause has not been proven, it’s mostly anecdotal, and Jenny McCarthy has been discredited. More about lack of link HERE

If a certain percentage of the population isn’t vaccinated none of us our.  Personal anecdotes are not proof either way, but I will add mine since I have it.  When whooping cough was on the rise.

 

I only hope that one day there will also be a law that personal, religious beliefs is not good enough for circumcision.  Something that to me that ranges from unnecessary to abusive.  But, then that’s my personal belief.

 

He is not planning on making it here

My kids are good travelers.    Whether it’s a grassy median  or pincher bug they find the fun.  Everywhere we go, even if it’s only for a few days Rex says,  Are you moving here?

first trip, surveying his new "home" in Carlsbad

an early, surveying his new “home” in Carlsbad

He is ready to stay.  Portland, Mendocino, San Diego, Santa Cruz, Washington DC, Montana, Arizona.  EVERYWHERE… until now.  He doesn’t want to move to New York City.  Cue, the music.  “Dum, dum dum da… screech…”  Empire state of mind has not entered his little body.children in nyc subways

We just got back from a week there.  We had fun.  He had fun. A full, lively trip.  BUT, it was humid, crowded, dirty, lots of walking, lots of subways.. it was NYC.  So, while water views, Miss Liberty and my many sweet, wonderful friends pleased us all I think I was a little surprised when Rex said, “I’m home sick”.  He has never said that. Not imagining your loft apartment?  The subway’s were his biggest hurdle.

” Mommy, once when were on the subway I had a fat man sitting next to me and I was looking at a woman who looked like man, or man who looked like a woman, I don’t know.”  But, Rex , I said, “You go to school in Hollywood.  Haven’t you seen all sorts?

“I go to school in Hollywood?”  He got briefly excited thinking of the Hollywood of the dream world, not the reality of me having to scream at a homeless guy exposing himself near the gate of the school.  Or Yelling,  “Watch out Poo!” as we walk to the car.

As adults we filter out all of the senses that are coming our way.  Kids are still sorting.  The people I know who grew up in NYC are all super cool people, so obviously plenty of people benefit from growing up in such a dynamic atmosphere.  It was just kind of an “ah-ha” for me that I have country kids. Though if you do take kids to NYC run to the Brooklyn Bridge Park.  What a fantastic bit of urban development that is!  Fun, immaculate!  Views of Manhattan, interactive art installations.  It was a major highlight.best view of manhattanmirror maze brooklyn bridge parkbest place for kids in nyc

Now, we are all humidity wimps.  I fold.  3/4 of the rest of the country, I don’t know how you do it. So, that ‘s one factor.  But, when we went up to see a friend in Connetcut, the humidity came with us, but Rex said he could live there.  Open, grassy fields.  Not so much walking. Oh, and a pool.pools

When is the right age to visit NYC?  I was 9 when my dad took me.  I liked it, but it was part of a bigger trip where we were in Atlantic City ( before it looked like it does now) Jersey country side, Washington DC, Atlanta, so it was all exciting.  I do remember NYC seemed a bit overwhelming, but the excitement carried the day.  So much going on. But then again I didn’t come back till I was 18.  Is this one of those things where you remember something when you are older and think you were younger?  Where your old person brain is off sync with a young brain?  Like when I played “Caddy Shack” for my then 11 year old stepson and he reacted as if I was making him much a documentary about tooth extraction?

In the end the best moments for Rex and Vivien were, along with  the Brooklyn Bridge Park, Central Parkcentral park with kids and playing with my friends’ kids in their homes and apartments.  Parks and fun kids.  Those are available anywhere.  Though due to the massive population in NYC I do know a fair amount of people there, so you can do a lot of visiting.  If I go to most cities I’m lucky if there is one person I know there.

We got back home and I asked my kids what was their favorite part about New York?  They both said, “Connecticut”.  Do they have a song?

Daphne Dishes RETURNS

Second season baby!

 

That’s right, I’m back!!  More recipes, more kid hi jinx, more tips and tricks from the kitchen.   I’m super chuffed that Daphne Dishes

selfie on set

selfie on set

is returning to the Food Network this Sunday at 11:30am.  I will be live tweeting PST from my screening party. @daphbrog

First Episode is fun.  We do a back yard movie night.  Culver Crest Chicken! culver crest chicken Oh, yeah.  Find out the secret (ground fennel seeds), why I named it that, oh so much.   I’ve long wanted to have a movie night in my backyard and finally get to. It’s so much easier when  PA goes to pick up the equipment.  If only life was always like that. Although I don’t miss the bender board that blanketed the floors of my house while we shot.  Note cardboard and blue tape below.  Little known fact, cardboard floors don’t feel great on bare feet.

producer Craig attempts to direct Rex and Vivien.  Good luck

producer Craig attempts to direct Rex and Vivien. Good luck

Some sweet friends came on the show and Vivien and two of her best friends make their own movie.  All their own idea.  Watch out Sundance. These first 3 shows my gut hadn’t turned on me yet, so I’m happy but chubbier cheeked.  I’ll be interested to see if we can detect changes throughout the season.   I hope you like it.

renewal

One of the things I love about America in general, and even more so the promise of the West is that one can remake themselves.  That it matters less out here in California than in older societies where you born, you are less bound to tradition. Still, we have done some AWFUL non progressive things out West.  Japanese internment camps jump to mind as I’m reading a great book on the subject.  Whether it be with education, career, or avocation we can change ourselves.  Now, with Caitlyn Jenner,caitlyn jenner gender change might seem more possible to people.  It’s a radical leap.  I will not pretend to always feel comfortable when I see a trans guy or girl.  Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes amusing, sometimes upsetting.  Especially when it’s a hooker in Hollywood and I am glimpsing a bit of a downtrodden life.

I do admire Bruce Jenner’s change because I think it’s hard to really change yourself.. let alone your gender.  I look and dress an awful lot like I did 30 years ago.  My eyebrows are plucked, but I still wear leggings.  A friend at my wedding said my dress reminded her of my prom dress.  Others change more drastically.  Some people change their name. My mom changed her first name.  Why not?  No one asks us what name we want.

Biology does not define family.  I feel that keenly since losing my brother, of non bio origin.  Some have said, ‘Oh, but he wasn’t your REAL brother.”  (teeth grind)

So, let’s do this.. let’s let everyone define themselves for themselves.  Names, occupation loved ones, and I guess identity.  It’s a stretch. It’s not always easy to go along with, but what the hell?  Let’s humor each other.  That’s what friends do.

The last call I got from Jeff was when he was concerned about a friend of ours whose adult child was transitioning.  It was a surprise as we had known the person since childhood, but he wanted to know the well being of our long time friend, the mom.  Even for liberally minded, it’s a transition for the family and friends as well.

“Is she okay?”  He wanted to know.  Not knowing what deep torment he was in at the time that would cause him to take his own life 6 weeks later. I so wish he had felt he could have come back home and start anew.  He didn’t have to be a success, that he could be poor and we would figure it out.  He had an idea of what he wanted to be and wasn’t getting there.  How great to be able to say, “I’m going to not only change the way you see me, but how I see myself.”  After someone you love takes their life someone else you know being trans gender starts to feel like “Please pass the potato salad.” Not that important.

I know a lot of people are going to make fun of Caitlyn Jenner.  Lots of Bruce Jenner jokes.  I know trans kid will still be made fun of.  But, it would be better to be kind.  If they want to dress up and blow a bugle and call themselves Teddy

Arsenic and old lace

Arsenic and Old Lace

Why not salute?

Beside, Bruce was a handsome man and Caitlyn is a nice looking woman.  Bully for her.

how I got accidentally locked in the UCLA hospital deli

 

 

So, while I have been recovering from my bout with c-diff I’m not all good.  It’s been a while since I was done with the medicine that is suppose to heal me and I’ve been going on C-diff websites where people say years later they still can’t eat what they use to.  Well, 3 weeks of No alcohol and mild foods is ok.  But, bland food is well bland.  A few times I ventured to the land of flavor and I pay for it the next day.

some days this is how I feel

some days this is how I feel

I went to the doctor last week.  She said it could take a few more weeks and if the issue persists or gets worse to come back and give another “sample”.  Oh joy.  The worst part is not having to be so close to my waste product, but having to DRIVE ACROSS TOWN to UCLA.  It’s all surface streets.  Always congested.  So, I waited till after 6 thinking I was outsmarting LA traffic. Wrong. Very slow going. The lab closes at 7 and I was hoping to get in there, get the “kit”, do the deed and go home.  I don’t want to have to DRIVE back ACROSS TOWN the next day with my sample.    I also had to do some grocery shopping. So I parked at Ralph’s in Westwood and ran to the lab.  It was 6:51.

I asked if I would have time to get this all DONE.  A nice lady named Marcella chimed in.  “I’m staying till 8pm.  If the gate is down just call for me and I will open it up for you.”  I told her how I had a dear Aunt who is also named Marcella ( she is now gone, didn’t tell her that) Thanked her and announced that I would have a cup of coffee and soon be back with my package.  I walked over to the Medical Plaza Deli.  Bought some expensive, but tasty cold brew. cold brew

I was feeling fine.  As moms often do I was enjoying having a little “me” time.  I sipped my brew waiting for nature to kick in as I fan geeked out reading all about my newest TV obsession, “Orphan Black”.

Don't go in there Sarah, you might not get out!

Don’t go in there Sarah, you might not get out!

I’m all caught up and don’t want to be a spoiler, but the most recent episode was juicy.  I switched to a big glass of water as the time ticked by.  The deli was quiet, just me and two workers.  A stray person here and there. Should I go to the lab bathroom?  Wait, think it’s closed.

Finally, I think I’m ready to finish the job I came to do.  I take my enormous brown paper bag the lab gave me. With the plastic bowl and other lab goodies and settle in the deli bathroom.  While I read an interview with the actor who plays “Felix” I start to get concerned that this may not get done in time before Marcella has to leave. I keep checking my watch. Alas, task complete.   I  put the charming little plastic bottle in my bag and am ready to high tail it to the lab with minutes to spare. Then I will go grocery shopping and just make it home in time to kiss my kids good night.

I walk out and I see it’s darker than it was before.  I go to the door.  It’s dead bolted.  I go to the side door.  It’s dead bolted.

“Hello?”  I call out.  Nothing.  “Hello?”  Certain that a worker will emerge from the back.  But, they don’t.

I start to get worried.  I jump over the counter into the back kitchen.  I open many doors.  Mostly closest.  I open one door that goes into a little alcove where there are two more doors and one elevator.  Oh, phew.  I almost let the door behind me close, but propped it open with my purse.  Glad I did. The other two doors are locked and the elevator doesn’t respond to the buttons.  The light keeps going out.  No up, no down.  I go back in.  I find a camera in the ceiling.  I jump up and down and wave hoping some security person sees this.  I go to the front door and yell between the crack in the door and bang on it as three coeds come by.

“Please help, I’m locked in.  Can you please go tell that police officer I’m locked in? ”  They are kind and rush over to the police car that is parked about 100 feet away.

locked inside.. hey Mr. Police man

locked inside.. hey Mr. Police man

I see them gesticulating, showing him where I am.  Phew, surely, he will be here on the double. Nothing else going on at this nearly deserted campus.   He doesn’t move.  I wave my hands.  He slowly moves his car down the drive toward me…He wasn’t 100 feet away.  Why did he have to drive?  He parks.  No movement. Is he calling for back up in case I’m armed with chips and Snapple?  I start rattling the door to indicate my desperation because I’m desperate.  If he doesn’t come over I think of pulling the fire alarm.  Marcella is about to leave.  I’m going to have to drive home with a canister of crap.  If I’m here at the medical plaza I’m probably sick, right dude?  Or have someone close to me that is ill.  Step on it.    My kids are home with a sitter I’m paying as I sit here.  I’m tired.  I’m hungry, but can’t really feast on the Good Humor bars or granola bars on the counter.  Hurry up copper! He saunters over.  I explain my issue.  He walks away.  Then he comes back to the door with a nice woman who works for UCLA security.

“We are trying to find the tenant who has the key.  Can you just sit tight?” she says.

“I don’t really have a choice.”  I say with a shrug.

anyone?  anyone?

anyone? anyone?  I was just a lady looking for quiet a can, then it got weird.

I get a text from a friend from my grief group.  She is having a hard time.  So often we don’t have time to talk to a friend.  Well, I have time.  I call her up.

I start with a joke.  “Guess where I am?  If you say locked in the UCLA medical plaza deli you are right!”  I get her to laugh.  Then we talk about feelings.  A couple of times I had to say, “oh, hang on, they are back.”  The police officer checks in, “We are still looking for the key.”  Another guard tries the side door.

It's getting darker

It’s getting darker

A UCLA guard, Jose, comes by.  “How are you doing?”  I get off the phone and tell him I found some doors that are locked, but there is an elevator.  Could he come through the elevator? He walks away. It’s now 8:30 and there is no way Marcella is still there.  They say the owner is coming, but maybe he lives in Sylmar.

More time.  I go back into the kitchen. Vivien calls me.  “mommy where are you?”  I’m locked inside the UCLA deli.

“You what?”  like a 9 year old has never heard that story.

“Honey let me call you back.  I want to check the back exit again.  I’m fine.  Don’t worry.” If she knew how close I was to a case of Pirate Booty she might have envied my position.

I walk to the back through the kitchen.  Open the same door that led me to nowhere, but this time the elevator is open!  I’m out.  I start shouting, running into the lobby.  The lady security guard welcomes me, “come out!”  Yeah!  They take my name and number.  They say that have to file an incidence report.  They say “the owner will want to call you.”

liberators

I thank Jose, my hero for getting the elevator open.

I know it’s futile, but I run over to the lab.  The gate is down.  “Marcella” I yell.  She jumps out of the office.

“You’re here!” I could hug her.

“I left, but came back.  I was worried about you.” the dear angel said.  I told her what happen and then my phone rings.  My kids are freaking out.  “Are you still trapped?”  Rex is starting to cry.   “I’m Ok.  I out.  I’m going to come home.”

Marcella says, “give it to me and go home to your babies.”  I hesitate.

She assures me.  “I’ve seen it all.”  This has been the most humbling, humiliating and hilarious experience.  I hand over my container. I thank her profusly.

I head over to Ralph’s and while I quickly shop I feel the adrenaline leave me.  I feel shaky and exhausted.  That wasn’t fun, I think.  Being imprisoned in an empty deli with soft drinks and a stool sample. My phone rings.

“Is this Daphne?” a man asks. “This is John, I own the deli.  I am so sorry.”  He was very nice and very apologetic.  “My team members should have checked the bathrooms before they left.”

“Well, alls well that ends well.” I say.
” I have enjoyed your matzo ball soup there before, but it taste better when I’m there of my own free will.”

John brightens. “Please keep my number.  Next time you are there ask for me and you get all the matzo ball soup you want.”  If he knew it’s one of the few things I can safely eat now he might not have offered.  Only the cross town drive is keeping me from cashing in that freebie.

Today the results are in. I still have C-Diff. Tomorrow I get a new medicine to try and clear out the infection or I am in danger of getting something more serious that can make my colon enlarge.  Sigh.  I’ll eventually get better, but now I have another problem.

Fear of abandonment.

 

 

 

dangers of antibiotics

 

When you are shooting a cooking show imagine not being able to eat.  No, this is not the Giada de Laurentiis story.  While shooting the most recent season of shows I developed a very unattractive condition.

the day my health took a turn.  shooting at Grand Central Market and looking for a bathroom every 5 minutes

the day my health took a turn. shooting at Grand Central Market and looking for a bathroom every 5 minutes

So, you read about the dangers of anti biotics .. but I figure that will happen to someone else, like aging.  But, low and behold I had an intestinal distress that was a cross between a trip to Mexico and labor.  It went on and on.  I’m more the “Oh, why go to the doctor, it’s just a virus type”, but finally relented after we twice had to stop shooting early. I was not in DaphMasterFlash form.   I kept thinking it would get better.  It didn’t.  The doctor on call said that he suspected I had gotten C-Diff.  It’s a bacterial infection you get when  the antibiotics you took 3-4 weeks before for something else kills your good bacteria in your bowel. ( I had taken two courses a month previous for Strep)  Think of it like your bowels are a trash compactor, but the C-diff caused an electrical outage so the trash can’t be compacted and just flows out with grinding pain that makes it difficult to stand in front of a camera and talk about food.

How to diagnosis?    One day we started shooting later while I high tailed it to UCLA Medical to give 7 “samples”.  The most revolting thing ever.

How to feel better?  Stop eating.  That’s what I did.

still not knowing what I had I read my script with a kaopectate chaser.

still not knowing what I had I read my script with a kaopectate chaser.

 

We had a lot of shows to do.  I had to keep working. I had sweet friends come and guest star on the show.  I was making great food.  One night I made a really fantastic, fancy meal for the show and was feeling ok, so I ate it all. It was a fun night.  The next day we had off and I couldn’t get out of bed.  Except to go to the, well, you know.

Let's live for tonight!!

Let’s live for tonight!!

Two days later they called and said to hurry up and start taking Flagyl to get rid of the C-diff. I had had ELEVEN days of… D-stress… if you know what I mean.   I have to eat very simple, bland foods and not drink at all.  If I have protruding collar bones by the end of this it will have been worth it.  The last days of the shoot I was feeling a bit better, but weak.   I would sit on a stool while we talked through what we were going to shoot.  When it was time to get on camera they would pull the stool away from me and I would bring it!  I felt better performing.  I was so focused on the job it got my mind of the grinding, labor like pain I was in.

behind the scenes:  while I made great food, this is what I was eating OFF camera.  Green tea, pro biotics, pedialyte

behind the scenes: while I made great food, this is what I was eating OFF camera. Green tea,bananas, pro biotics, pedialyte

The medicine made me dizzy . As soon as the shoot was done I went down for 48 hours and put myself on healing with funny movies.  My faves so far to wipe the tension off my face and put on a smile: “Hot Tub Time Machine”  ( My generation)  “The Wedding Ringer”. Basically, if it didn’t have dick and fart jokes, I was not interested.  (Not as good “Admission” with Tina Fey and “It’s Complicated”, both need 30 min cut and a better script. ) Also caught up with all the Jane the Virgin’s. Please, do yourself a favor and watch it.  From the start.  So funny and has satire and magical realism, all my faves.

The good news is I had put on some Grief Pounds, so I’m psyched that I have lost 9 lbs. B

Okay, so be careful with your gut… and wash your hands.

They have the cleanest streets

I now understand the moral isolation of the rich.  For part of Spring Break  got to spend a week on Balboa Island off of Newport Beach.  It’s so clean and delightful my sister asked if we were in “The Truman Show”.  I was lucky to the live auctioneer at our school fundraiser last year who no one could hear.  I also had done research on the items and knew they had low balled the value of this charming house which was up for auction for a week of Spring Break.  So as the bidding progressed Slowly, I jumped in with my bid, no one countered and it was Sold!  To me.kids on balboa island

Mark is working so hard he was not able to come down for a minute.  But, he is so dear as I came in from a break of paddle boarding I phoned him and said, Gosh I was so much a part of the development of Bombo, but now that it’s open you are working non stop and I’m wondering if tonight I should make a Gin and Tonic with lots of lime or a Manhattan with rye or bourbon?

He said, “No, don’t feel bad.  You are taking care of Vivien and Rex.”  So wonderful that my husband really understands a family partnership.  Now, where were those kids??mark peel's bombo

Oh, right, they were not missing the grit of their Hollywood environs, they were having the time of their lives.  Sometimes their cousins were there, sometimes some friends. action kids

The first few nights my mom was with us which was great.  Perfect multi generational vacay spot.  You can scamper, read multi generational travelor rent a boat!

Cruising cousins

Cruising cousins

One night it was just us so we went to the movie theater at Fashion Island nearby.  I was once told the average income around there is $750k a year.  My ticket was $22.  I almost fell out of my ballet flats.

“No way” I wailed.  “we are not going.”  But, Vivien begged and we were there, and it was vacation.  I relented.  “Okay, but we are never coming here again.”  My rant was abated when we walked into the lobby and it looked like a  Four Seasons, or at least 3.  A handsome young man stood behind a counter asking me if I wanted to purchase a glass of wine or beer on tap.  The price of my ticket faded from my mind when he said, “if you would like a second glass during the movie I can bring you that.” Wouldn’t you know it an hour later he did!  Later Rex asked how I liked “Home”.  I thought, gee, I don’t know, seemed more enjoyable than all those other animated movies I sit through with you guys, but I had two glass of nice California white, so my judgement is impaired.  “It was pretty.” I said.

Most of the week we barely drove.  I’m so sick of driving.  I am obssessed with my pediometer app. I was cracking 10 thousand steps no problem as we walked to the ferry, to the paddle boats, to a Balboa ice cream bar, to rent a motor boat.  Water, views, breezes everywhere.  Where were the homeless?  They must ship them up to LA.  I couldn’t figure it out.  In our sister school there was an encampment.. tents, flooring materials, stench, but here, there isn’t so much as a gum stain on the street. ( sidebar, I finally got to the right people in the city and the trees were trimmed and we got the encampment moved).

It’s easy to feel like the problems of the world are far away.  Or at least in Santa Ana.  I do prefer paddle boarding over driving, but hey, that’s what vacations are for, right? But, it seems like it’s always vacation down here in the OC.  Is it wrong to enjoy living like this?  I’ve always thought it was, but now not sure.  Daphne and children

no wonder I hate mother’s day

This is what my mother’s day looked like..real mothers day

Well, that’s not fair, I also had vomit on my pink P.j’s from when Rex threw up on me.  But, I’m sparing you a photo of that. No awkward brunch with corsage, no red roses, no sachet.

It would all be a day’s work, but being told it’s “MOTHER’S DAY” makes me cranky.  Same way Valentine’s day makes you think your in a crap relationship, when it’s just normal.  Expectations.

Mark is working hard, quite rightly, new business.  As he was rushing out the door in the AM I pleaded for some coffee, toast, NY Times and he complied.  The kids were great for 2 hours because they had a friend over.  Hey, this is ok. My stepson called me which the biggest gift that he can give me, he knows my number! (see desperate stepmom seek connection)  Then when the friend left my little ones turned on each other like demons.  Though to be fair.  I made it worse.  They would settle into a show, a game what have you and after a bit I would check in on them.  My presence was a catalyst for them turning on each other.

“I’m going to leave you guys alone” I said as I walked out of the room for 2 hours.  No fighting. I’m the problem.

In the evening things had settled down, we were watching Season Finale of one of our favorite shows, “Once upon a Time”.   Okay, day has it’s grace notes.  Then Rex threw up on me.

Well, I don’t like red roses anyway.

 

Let’s try something new…

So, haven’t posted lately because Mark and I are consumed with opening a NEW eatery.  It’s the first time he has done a fast casual concept.  I give you a news links HERE  Please like it on FB or instagram.

He has been working VERY hard.  Excited for it, but already wondering how this will impact our lives!  I’m very proud of my sweetie.  I helped get things in line the last year and half, but now it’s all him and he takes it very seriously.

If you are in LA, check it out!

trying out the fried chicken.  They like it

trying out the fried chicken. They like it