Let’s talk about the vagina. Occasionally I’m asked to review books. Occasionally I say yes. This book went with a bullet to the top of my pile. Think you know all about it? Think again!
`”V is Vagina: your A to Z guide to Periods, Piercings, Pleasures and so much more”
A quick trip to Las Vegas for CES related activites. Not one nickel went into a slot machine or any form of gambling. Not one penny. I lose enough, thanks. The drink I had was not very good, food expensive. Which is why my first stop from the airport is the Whole Foods so I can have healthy snacks on hand without walking 4 miles through a lobby to try and find them and only end up with a hot dog by Nathan’s. CES is a too large convention for geeks.
But, the full night sleep in a hotel room? OMG beyond fantastic. I woke up at 6:30am per usual and was semi giddy when I realized I could go back to sleep and I did for for two more hours. Mark was suppose to go with me so we could combo a little boogie time, but the LA courts had another idea. Mark was called to jury duty.
I did meet some great people. Lisa Stone from Blogher. Ends up we have mutual friends and I’ve known her sister for nearly 20 years. Small world. I did a show live for pulse network. It is a MAJOR ordeal to penetrate CES. I don’t reccomend it. No wonder I hadn’t been there in 12 years when I was there representing CNET and hosting a panel. The fun part was doing the show live and whoever showed up to be my guest I winged it. Like I like it. Some of those I intereviewed were momfinds and zinio. While talking to that gal I was so wowed by her cool mags online on her iPad I started to think for the first time, I NEED one of those. (covet, covet)
Fun, but way too noisy dinner with my partners at Deca and various guests. Like the guys who started Klout.com. New cool social media. Good luck boys! Also Catherine McCord of weelicious.com. She and I knew each other as hosts about 10 years ago. She hasn’t aged at all.
I finished one book and then bought another. The Checklist manifesto. Thought it was right up my alley when I saw the author on The Colbert Report as I do love a To Do list (see vlog). But, it’s like a good magazine article that got turned into a book. So often the case with Non Fiction.
24 hours is plenty. I didn’t love that scene before I was a mom and now that I can come to this I really want to make it a short trip. 
I took the kids to brunch with friends the day after I came back and Vivien and doll are wearing an outfit set I gave her for her birthday.
I hit the jackpot.
A Guest Post by Amanda Howells, formerly of Crabmommy
Hello, dear Coolmom readers. It’s been a while since my momblogging days (I’m writing other things now—more on that later). I do miss it, so it’s awfully nice to sit in for CoolMom this week.
Do you read much—as in books (books for grownups)? I know, I know, it’s a damn tall order to crack a book when the tots are wailing for Mama, requiring you to change a diaper/find a glue stick/draw a horse/slice an apple. What is it about children and sliced fruit, btw? My 5-year-old drives me bonkers with this slicing obsession—kids these days can’t bite into a whole piece of fruit…sheesh!
It is indeed incredibly difficult to train a mom-brain onto words on a page when the very act of child-rearing conspires to ensure you will never have another moment of silence again. But don’t let the wee ones colonize every inch of your body and brain, my friends! Protect your reading time, and I’m not talking those How To Be A Better Parent to Your Pain in The Ass Spirited Child -type books either. Read something you actually want to read. Don’t worry, I’m not about to pull a Goopy Gwyneth Paltrow and recommend you fall into bed with a nice cozy copy of Crime and Punishment (like you haven’t dealt with that theme all day as a mom). GMAFB, Gwyn. You read the Spark Notes. Fear not! Unlike Gwynnie, I won’t tell you what to read. I’ll just tell you what’s on my nightstand, just for the fun of sharing.
First off, this doesn’t even qualify as reading since it’s basically a novelty picture book but I had to get a copy of Regretsy: Where DIY meets WTF. Hil.ar.ious. Moving on to fiction, just finished: The Little Stranger – a perfect highbrow ghost story; The Forest of Hands and Teeth (wow, I had no idea zombies could be this compelling).
Gearing up for summer: Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like Stieg Larsson? I read the first one and found it gratuitously grisly and otherwise overrated. So instead of being all excited for the new one that’s just out—The Girl Who Kicked The Cop in the Crotch or The Girl Who Smacked That Man in the Mouth (or whatever it’s called)—I’m tucking into the far superior Elizabeth George’s new mystery, This Body of Death. Clumsy title aside, I know this Inspector Lynley mystery will be as good as its predecessors. After that, I will complete my mystery/paranormal track with Carrie Ryan’s The Dead-Tossed Waves (this YA paranormal writer is oh-so-much better than You Know Who). Then it’s on to Red Hook Road (because I love everything Ayelet Waldman writes); Flannery: A Life of Flannery O’ Connor (I like to mix some bio in between the fic); and after that, The Summer We Read Gatsby, because it looks witty and fun and perfect for summer.
Speaking of “perfect for summer” [throat clearing here] may I timidly suggest my very own first novel for your reading pleasure? Just out, The Summer of Skinny Dipping is a bittersweet romance— a beach read with substance, if I do say so myself. Kirkus called it “a realistic and satisfying chick-lit debut,” School Library Journal said, “…this novel will live on for more than a summer” and I hope you will feel the same. Available here.
Want to win a copy? Leave a comment telling us what you’re reading/looking forward to reading this summer and a randomly selected winner will receive a copy of The Summer of Skinny Dipping. Yay! Competition closes Friday, June 11, 5pm PST.**
Thanks, Daph, for letting me guest-post and pimp my new book. Happy summer reading, everyone!
xx Amanda Howells
**UPDATE: Congrats to Sara for her comment. I’ll be emailing you to send you your copy of my book. Yay!
one of my favorite parts of my weekend is reading Modern Love in the NY Times Style section on Sunday. They are well written essays about all kinds of relationships. This past Sunday was no exception. But, while it was well written, it has really disturbed me. Pleaseread it and tell me what you think. In short, a woman had a boyfriend who died leaving an orphaned 8 year old girl. The writer didn’t really like the girl. Eventually an aunt and uncle took her in, but after a whopping 5 days decided they would turn her out. This child went to foster care and then was adopted.
The end of the essay the writer is musing on what her life would have been like had she decided to mother this orphan. I’m thinking, who cares about you lady?
I would not put my niece and nephew up for foster care. I am the god mother to my best friend’s child and if, God forbid, something happens to her parents, it’s all written down that I will take her. I’m sure a child in that position would be difficult: their parents have just dropped dead.
This theme was brought up a while ago when that lady returned her adopted Russian son. But, why do people think children are like a belt from Nordstroms?
My mother told me the essay depressed her as well. But, she has known kids (she runs a high school) who have had their families give up on them. I get it, they are inconvenient. So what?
Monday night was the first book signing for Mark’s cookbook. It was for food press and some key ringers. My family, the doctor who delivered my babies, you know, the usual. I asked for a mic to be there, and I introduced Mark and he introduced his co-writer Martha Rose Shulman.
It was a lot of work for about two years, so it was nice to have a cocktail and celebrate. Or three. But they were tiny cocktails. It was very fun, and I wore one of my new dresses from my previously written about $500 shopping spree at the Trina Turk sale (‘Cause I was tired of wearing maternity). My daughter also wore pink. And here she is wisely eating the yummy apps that were straight out of the cookbook.
Note the savory tart on the table. I don’t know if I have mentioned it, but
I’M OBSESSED WITH SAVORY TARTS. They are my favorite food.
They don’t serve them at Campanile, but pretty sure they will at the bar Mark is working on, or there will be marriage counseling in our future. There is a recipe for the one here, and it was GOOD. Slices of potato, carmelized onions, bacon. Nuff said.
People were very kind, and many people bought 2 to 5 books planning ahead for Christmas.
I was a little fried the next day since Rex woke us up quite a bit, but there was some nice press and none better than this. It’s like I wrote it.
Mark has a couple more book signings scheduled in LA. October 20th at Borders in Century City and the 26th at Campanile. If he travels out of town, it’s on our dime, so not sure about other places. If it does well, we might go somewhere where we have friends so it makes sense, like the Bay Area.
The night and the Grubstreet article were amazing considering when we were in the dark days of late December ’08 I said to Mark, “2009 will be your year.” He had to buck me up more than I him. But being human, having millions stolen and having to sell your home can take a little spring out of your step. Even the sunniest of people can need a pep talk. I said, I can feel it, it’s going to come together for you. The book will come out, the restaurant will endure, the bar you are working on will come together, and I’m getting you on Top Chef! I might have said:
“As god as my witness!”
So, maybe the lesson is, in dark moments hide the hard drugs and visualize the good stuff, work towards your goals, and they just might kick in. I hope.
For anyone who missed the NY Times Sunday magazine, boy, was it an eye opener. Nicholas Kristof, who I love following on Twitter, and his wife Sheryl WuDunn have written a book called Half of the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. In it, they say human rights for women is the paramount moral challenge of this century. Here is the excerpt they had in the magazine. Now, they aren’t talking about Title IX or maternity leave. All important things, but they are writing about the need to address the severe brutality and even murder that women and young girls face in many developing nations.
photo credit: annrkiszt
A lot of the horrors I have read before, but there are still more doozies. Awful. And some of the solutions are so easy, micro-lending. It’s very humbling to read their work. I was raised a feminist, but it’s easy to go about life and not deal with how horribly women are treated in many parts of the world. There is growing recognition that if you improve the lot of women you improve the society at large. That’s why I say it’s MORE than half the sky. Also, in the essay, they say men of the developing nation they don’t spend money as wisely as women do. If a women gets $5 she will buy a mosquito tent so her babies don’t get malaria; they guy uses the $5 for drink.
The whole magazine had great stuff, including a good article by Lisa Belkin (who guests on Momversation with me) about how in the days of suffrage, wealthy women did not support women (I would guess it was because they didn’t control the purse strings), but now wealthy women are supporting women’s causes.
I’m going to investigate the best way to effect change in this regard… knowing I’m distracted, selfish, and have a short attention span. Maybe finding a place to donate to a micro-lending organization. Let me know if you have any ideas.
One of my best friends. Mary Ellen Geist, gave up her career as a high-flying radio reporter to help her mother care for Mary Ellen’s father, who has Alzheimer’s. It’s a self-sacrificing thing she has done. She left NYC (previously, she was in SF where we were big buddies) to move to Michigan and live with little money as a full-time caregiver. A noble act, right? I can go on record as saying I always discouraged her from doing this.
Back in the ’90s in SF, when we were single gals having great dinners and drinking red wine, she was a reporter, and I was a TV host and radio producer. She knew her dad was starting to change and would periodically say, “At some point I have to go home and help Mom.” I always said, “Don’t do it.”
I am greatly influenced by my own mom, who said that one should care for the next generation and not dwell in the past. Also, I worry about my child-free friend: when she is older, who will take care of her? Shouldn’t she be preparing for her own rainy day? When my own father’s health declined, none of us took him into our homes, except for a couple of days a week. My sisters and I have small children, and just a couple of days were a strain. We put him in assisted living.
Mary Ellen’s dad’s Alzheimer’s is far more advanced than my own dad’s, and she has the patience I do not. Every morning, she tells him to put on his shoes, take his medicine, and so forth. It’s a special person that can do this day in and day out and not go stark-raving mad. The old line about mothers having the hardest job is just NOT true. Unless it’s a mother with a special-needs child, the hardest job is taking care of someone who is not only never going to get better, but will get worse.
Typical to the charismatic and spirited person that is Mary Ellen, even when she planned to hide away in Michigan, the spotlight finds her. Through a few turns, her story was featured in the NY Times, and now she has published a book about her experience (which is ongoing), Measure of the Heart. None other than Oliver Sacks provides the forward; he was intrigued by Mary Ellen’s dad because even as her dad forgets all else in his life, he can still sing and knows the words to the songs that he has always loved.
For any sandwich generation person like myself, it is an interesting read. Her story is intriguing, but it also makes you ask yourself questions about your own choices. She was recently on the Today show and she made Kathie Lee Gifford cry.
Here’s a cute thing that was one of the first products I featured on my “Mommy Must Have” segment on my TV show, The Fashion Team. Although come to think of it we haven’t done that segment in months, which means the producers must have cut it without telling me…hmm. Typical.
Anyway, I was trolling a star-studded benefit for the March of Dimes last year, eyeing the swag available to the famous and hoping to get ideas for my show. When low and behold I see a very nice, unassuming mom with her t-shirts and matching books. These are not just shirts with a familiar story or song on them, they’re Nursery Rhyme Tease, and each shirt comes with a little book that matches. So I got Vivien “Wheels On The Bus,” and “5 Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed.” She loved them, got so excited when I gave them to her. She likes reading the books, knows the words and wears the shirt like a rocker wears his AC/DC shirt, to show what a fan she is!
As I recall they were about $25 dollars for the set. Order a few and have them in an emergency gift nook for when you realize, “oh, crap, we have a kiddie party today!”
That’s my plug.
So, I always liked Jamie Lee Curtis, if for nothing else, for how honest she is about her body and all that love yourself stuff. And “A Fish Called Wanda” is still one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. She comes in to my husband’s restaurant with her husband, Christopher Guest (NOT looking like one of his hilarious characters) from time to time.
When she first saw Vivien as a very small baby, she rushed over from her lunch saying, “I have to smell that baby.” What a sensualist, what a mom. Loved it. Of course, it’s always heartening when anyone gushes over your baby, but if she’s a big famous lady, all the cooler.
So about two weeks ago, Vivien and I were eating dinner at Campanile and Jamie Lee, her husband, and their attractive young lady daughter came by to say hi. She said she was going to send Vivien the children’s books she had written. I had remembered a book she’d written about being five or something like that; I thought maybe there were two books. I wasn’t counting on getting any books, since in LA, moments like that can often be what my friend, reporter/writer Mary Ellen Geist, calls “room love”: they love you for that moment, but then it’s over.
Yesterday morning Mark called from his office. “There is a big stack of books from Jamie Lee Curtis for Vivien. And a book about alcohol for me.” (He is working on opening a bar and restaurant, so that is also thoughtful.) I was so impressed that she had followed through on her word and that she was such a prolific children’s story writer. That afternoon, Vivien and I came to pick them up and Mark presented them tied up in a big gold ribbon. Another nice touch, Ms. Curtis. There was a little card that said, “As promised,” signed by the actress herself. And she wrote a thoughtful note in each book to Vivien. Well, now I REALLY love her.
All of the books have great illustrations, and not too many words. ‘Cause if you have watched my vlog about children’s books, you know I can be picky about my reads. One book I can hardly read the title of without choking up is Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born. This would be sweet for any child to read, but this book is about an adopted child being told about being born and her parents coming to get her. Just writing about it makes me want to cry. I had read that she and her husband had adopted their children, so this is obviously a heartfelt story, but like all of her books, it has a lot of whimsy.
I read it aloud to Mark and Vivien and he and I both got choked up because of the dearness of parents taking their adopted children into their hearts and souls just as biological parents do, and it made us reflect on the “night” (really, 8 am) when Vivien was born. I am getting this book for my friend who has adopted and one who is on the verge.
When anyone goes out their way with a generous, gracious note, I shouldn’t be but am always taken aback. Like my new neighbors bringing cookies, or the other neighbors who brought a welcome basket. I’m probably just not generous enough myself, so I appreciate it from other people! And being raised in LA, there is an “LA vicious” attitude. Even in San Francisco (where I lived for 9 years), it’s not a warm and cuddly town.
But it does make for a fun story that this gift was from a big fancy, schmancy, movie star.
So funny, I realized today I was doing this and wondered if I am the only mom who does this? Then I see a comment from Saloni where she said when her kid makes baby noises she wants to run in the opposite direction. Now, she didn’t say she did, but I am here to say I have. I wouldn’t leave her stranded. I just saw an opportunity. Vivien was in the back yard with my husband when I realized, “Hey, I’m tired and would love to quickly watch some adult TV. Or read a few pages of Barbara Walters memoir.” So I dashed into my room and had about 6 minutes of chill before I heard, “Mommy!” When she came in she said she wanted to watch cartoons. I didn’t cave, “No honey, I want to watch some mommy TV and rest.” Thankfully she said. “Can I rest with you?” And she did for a little while. I just needed to recharge. Does anyone else hideout