Who invited Cassandra to the party?

Fasten your seat belt, the holidays are here.  This is it, after this moment count me out.  Family has already started to arrive and I have pull the trigger on which vegi side dish to cook I’m think creamed corn.  It’s probably just as well I stay close to home as the last couple of gatherings that were “work” related I should have changed my name to Cassandra.

First I went to Deca, my old partners in forming this site and Momversation back in the dark ages ( almost 6 years ago). They were throwing a launch party for a cartoon series.  They didn’t make it, but someone on their board did.  I nodded as I was told this shoving a bbq sandwich in my mouth.  Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child and Kim Tracy Prince, mom blogger buddies were there. I hadn’t seen them in a while so it was nice to catch up.  Kim lives far away, Rebecca is close but has 4 kids, two baby twins, so she might as well be in Phoenix. We discussed a few things while we stood there.

the old gang

1) why has the ability to monetize blogging become so difficult?

2) why is the wine served in pre wrapped glasses?  ( they sponsored the party)

3) why did a cartoon with a large busted mom character, that after my brief viewing seemed to be full of hack characters  get money behind it to be made? Perhaps because it’s voiced by Miss Eva Longoria.

4) Is there a disconnect between the consumer and producers of content?  Or is it I who have the disconnect?

When anyone asked, “Hi, Daphne, how are you doing?”

Me; “Great.  You know mom blogging is dead, right?”  I didn’t get a lot of protest. None.

I guess I wasn’t too much a Debbi Downer, because  this week Kim Tracy Prince invited me to a shopping meca near me to drink free wine and meet Randi Zuckerberg and get her book.  The sister to Mr. Facebook worked at FB, and is now doing her own thing and  has written a book. ( Her signing was post free wine.)  So, they called Kim, who called her blogging lady pals and I had two glasses of Sauvignon blanc.  Again, nice to see some of the old gang I hadn’t see in a while.

“You know mom blogging is dead?” I chirped as I shoved a now called fried calamari in my mouth.

“My site was never a mom blogging site, it’s about fashion.” said one blogger.

Randi is a very nice, personable woman. She has good people skills.  If she was a posting I would hit “Like”. In this picture I look like I’m so proud of my life partner.  Kim took it and she said, ” you guys look like you are going to go on a date.”  Hey, I could do a lot worse.

Later at the book signing for “Dot Complicated.” Randi handled it well when I asked, “What did you think about how the movie “The Social Network” made your brother seem autistic.  I don’t know him, but from what I’ve seen of him he doesn’t seem like that.”   Like a politician she praised the movie from a cinematic stand point, but said 70% of it was incorrect and that the actors did not mingle with the real life counterparts.  I also liked that she is focused on getting little girls to be engineers and work in technology.  “If you really want to change the world, be an engineer.”  Oh, don’t take improv?  I was mis-informed.

I cradled my book under my arms as I waved good-bye to my fellow content creators.  “Dead, it’s dead, it over.” I sang out as the escalator took me down.  Then it hit me. It’s great Randi Zuckeberg wants to help young girls, but who is starting the initiative for retraining of sassy middle aged ladies with a creative bent?

Maybe that should be my next project.

 

 

Tis the season.. for mucus and barf

Viv woke up sounding like Brenda Vaccaro.

No, she wasn’t telling me about the attributes of Tampax, but a throaty voice that would make Ashton Kutcher turn around to see if his estranged wife was in the room.  Took her to the doctor, no strep. Decided she needed a strawberry shake as salve.  When we got home  I sat down and fell asleep for 90 minutes. Not normal that I fall asleep like that in the afternoon.  I wake up to Rex vomiting.   At one point Rex climbed up to the toilet seat.  He can get his entire body on the seat. I tried to move him back to the bed.
“No, mommy.”  I know, kid sometimes you just feel the need to be near the toilet.  I sat next to him and he started to snore.  I waited a few minutes till he was deeper asleep and then I moved him.  So, glad he stayed asleep.

While I lay next to him hearing him snore like a middle aged man, I read “Below Stairs”.  A memoir of a British maid that inspired Downton Abbey and Upstairs, Downstairs.  Spoiler alert, in real life they don’t like their bosses like they do in Downton Abbey. Good read.

Viv is back at school today.  Rex is all better, but keeping him home.  I really don’t know how full time working parents do this without full time help. A servent in jolly old England, forget it.  No wonder Edith turned to the streets.   Since I’m under employed right now I can lay next to my baby and rub his back all day if needed.  Course at some point I need to bring some money in here.

Maybe I could sell tampons?

 

Danger of Online Porn

I’m not sure why a porn company sent a mom blogger this press release.  I found it amusing in parts.  Congrats, District of Columbia, you are the biggest watchers of online porn!  Maybe you shouldn’t get state hood, you big pervs.

As I looked over the “data” it appears that “MILF” is the #3 most watched type of porn.  I really should just vlog topless, then maybe I would actually make some money off this thing.

What was DISTURBING was the number one most watched type of porn is “Teen”.  This brings up an issue a friend of mine who is a counselor told me recently.  That because of the internet young men are more messed sexually than ever.  They see so much porn at a young age that they expect their girlfriends to be freaky deaky.  The guys are desensitized to “vanilla” sex and intimacy.  She has women 18 to 20 crying saying their boyfriends expect them to behave like the online porn performers.

Oh, for the halcyon days of the peep show. When one had to make a little effort to consume porn.

My friend said the guys wake up before their parents and watch the porn, clear the browser so it goes unnoticed.

Will males always dig porn? Sure, yeah.  But, I would like to think of ways to restrict access for my kids so one day Rex isn’t making his girlfriend cry ( Vivien is never leaving my side). I want my kids to have healthy, loving relationships… when they are 39.

Top 5 Most Popular Categories of 2012:

  1. Teen
  2. Lesbian
  3. MILF
  4. Amateur
  5. Ebony

 

What binder am I in?

I love running gags.  I love the Memes that develop online.  The best one to come out of the debate this week was all the binder jokes. I’d to work more, so perhaps Mitt Romney could fit me in one of his binders?  The “TV host, comic, vlogger” binder.  We are the bridge to no where of workers.

To be fair to Mitt and his binder beyond the Lily Ledbetter legislation Obama could have done better in his reply to the question of how to address the fact that women make 72 cents to a man’s dollar, as well.  Mary McNamera, TV critic for the LA times, had a pithy response to the back and forth.  Check it out, but this is one of my favorite parts

So we fixed that,” the president said. Et voila, pay equity all around! Instead of discussing how, say, that act might work for real women, he decided to turn a question about equal pay into an opportunity for him to point out his support for legal abortion and insurance coverage of contraceptives.

Because clearly any mention of women must prompt a discussion of abortion and contraception, and legal abortion and covered contraception should, somehow, make up for women not getting paid enough. (Memo to American management: Next time a man asks for a raise, just hand him a box of condoms.)

But, Romney’s boast that he got a “binder full of women” so he could get some new hires with a vagina has prompted the cargo load of jokes and memes.  It sounded at best a bit stiff and out of touch and worst insulting, “you got all the way to the governers office without knowing women of merit? All that business experience you had and you didn’t know some women to bring along?”

Not to mention, great you hired some broads, how does that help American women going forward?

Back to the jokes.. it’s the binder, people.  These are some of my favorites.

This is my fave.. perfect picture of Clinton.  Btw way, check out the twitter @pimpbillclinton  riot.

I was interviewing celebs on the Red Carpet with “The most interesting man in the world” showed up.  He crushed the Desperate Housewives and all others in terms of the crowds response.  He is a nice guy.

 

I have some empty binders if anyone needs them.

My new look!

Beat today.  I shot 8 webisodes in my home the last two days for Cafe Mom.  I’m super excited to see them finished.  It was an ambitious schedule.  Most of my family participated.

I will let you know when they are post ( October date), but in the meantime.  Check out my new look.  The title is “How To Be a Mom”.

6 year old girls sexual identity

Ugh, I’ve been worrying about this since before my daughter is born.  She in now 6, nearly 7.

I was right to take back the baby Brittney “hit me one more time” Spears outfit given to us at her shower.

I am right to monitor what she watches.  Some crap gets through.  How can it not when the latest edition of “Candy Land” looks like a promo for a stripper bar. Does that lady want to find some candy or a sugar daddy?  But, most sassy, short skirted, too mature for their age shows are turned off.

I was right to deep six the wrong sort.

LET them be kids.

This article from Huffington Post  Called ” Why 6 year olds want to be sexy” is a good read for parents of young girls.

A few years ago my husband had a guy working for him who lived near us. His wife and daughters would nice.  Vivien would play with their oldest daughter.  We weren’t besties, but we got along and since my husband worked with this guy I felt the need to get along.  But, one evening I changed my mind.  The girls were playing dress up and the mom came to pick her daughter up.  The 4 year old girl walked out in a fairy costume which showed her belly button.  The exclaimed:

“SEXY!”

I froze.  She didn’t just say that?  Then she quickly followed it up with:

“Suck in your tummy, it will look prettier.”  The girl did.  “Good, that’s better.”

I was speechless.  Vivien was out of the room or I would have said, “we don’t talk like that here.”  But, she wasn’t and it was one of those awkward moments, of well, it’s her kid, not for me to direct her parenting.  But, after that I started to limit my daughters exposure to them.  I didn’t my daughter to be told that she was “Sexy” or that she should alter her natural, baby like body to please an adult.

Fortunately, the guy was a disaster at work who was sent packing a while back so forced friendship is over.

But, the pressure on girl girls continues as does our need to protect them.

 

New TV fave

Over the years I have become obsessed with different TV Shows.  “Mash”, “The Avengers” ( Mrs Peel!), “Get Smart” and “Wild, Wild West.”  Also, “Maverick” and “Bonanza”.  Great thing about syndication sometimes I could watch these shows 5 times in a day.    Clearly I have a thing for cowboys and action.

Now as a grown adult there is a new TV obsession in town:  the revamped “Dallas”. When I was a kid my sisters and I use to dance to the “Dallas” theme song.  Back in the late ’70’s  and  early 80’s ,when if you wanted to watch something you watched it live on the few channels you had.  The show lost me the last few years.  I was over it in college and barely noticed when it left the air  in 1991.

A few months ago Josh Henderson, who plays JR’s son, came into the Tar Pit ( our now defunct cocktail lounge and eatery)  He had his faint mustache that night, it’s  good look for him.  He knew some of the people working there and he was so sweet and very appreciative of the opportunity.  He said that Linda Grey, Patrick Duffy and Larry Hagman had been great to him.  He is playing kind of slime ball, so I think he has some real acting chops because he wasn’t like that at all when I spoke with him.

The other reason I love watching the new”Dallas” is in the pilot JR reminded me of my dad.  My brain is on high alert for men who reminded me of my dad. Did you hear that Robert Wagner? Larry Hagman is   similar in age to my dad and also has a little Southern lilt to his voice.  My dad was never a big oil tycoon, but was a bit the loveable scoundrel. Though I wish someone would trim Larry Hagman’s eyebrows. I use to do that for my dad.  I can come on South Fork and fix him right up.

Now you may not go in for a gringo telenovela like I do, but you fiddle around with their website.  Someone got the whole TV/ internet thing right at TNT.  If you are on Facebook you can put yourself and your friends in the iconic opening.

 

 

It randomly picks the pictures and the people.  But, you can chose your cast if they have enough pictures uploaded to Facebook.  Best of all you can out in your own address and make the opening about your own town.  

Like “Pacoima!”  So, instead of seeing SouthFork at the close your tract home pops up.  It’s a scream.  The one flaw, and it’s a big one, is they don’t allow you to send the link of what you created to your new “co stars”.  So, I’m left to laugh on my own.

Oh, wait, that’s usually how it is.  Well, give it a try. 

 

Forbes Top 100

Did I make the Forbes top 100 best ways to make money? Or the Forbes Top majors to make a mediocre living at?  I could have, take that Sociology.  Happily, Cool Mom rated again on Forbes for one of the top 100 sites for women in the US.

Thank you, thank you.  This stuff can seem kind of silly and all, but I’m still smarting from being bumped this past year off of Babble’s list.

Who doesn’t like recognition? Thanks Caroline Howard for the inclusion.  Now, I need to go check out the other 99.

Not so shabby cute vintage like clothes

One consequence of my site remodel is that I am behind on some posts.  My reviews have been stacking up, which is saying something, because I don’t think of this as a review site.

Nonetheless, sometimes something crosses my desk that jumps out at me as “oh, that is me!”  Shabby Apple was one of those things.   They they feminine clothing online.  I wanted to try them out partly cause I love that name.  I had never heard of them till they contacted me, but go to the site and you will see lots of cool vintage inspired women’s clothing. I love vintage, but my body is not vintage and they can smell and have sweat stains.  Sometimes better to get a new reworking on vintage. Shabby Apple’s clothes are not cookie cutter. If you like “Mad Men” style, this is for you. They asked me to pick an outfit and say what I thought of it.

Their clothes are divided into themes.  I picked from the “Mad Hatter” collection.  I chose separates.  This navy skirt with little fabric circles that dangle off of it. And this cream coloured  lattice top.  I picked them because

a) they were different, yet classic

b) I had been wanting more narrow skirts

c) I thought they would suit my body

Ordering on their site is easy.  They have a little quiz to help you shop your body type no surprise I am an apple. 

 

 

When I opened the plastic pouches they arrived I was surprised at the quality of the clothes.  Seriously.  So often things look good in the pictures, and then disappoint.  But these felt sturdy, not junior department feel at all.   They looked like the picture in  person, I however don’t look like this model. I still thought it was a pretty smart outfit.  My daughter liked it and my friend who was over at the time asked me if I would be wearing it to a wedding this summer.  Yes, I suppose I could.that first picture I took I look so serious, I decided I needed to catalogue it up!

Fit?  The skirt is high waisted with a side zipper.  At first I was worried that I would never get  the zipper shut over my hips and gut.  But, I did and once done it was totally comfortable. Not in a “now I will go jogging” way, but in a “I could go eat dinner in this” way, which is what you would wear a skirt like this to anyhow.  I think it would look great at a wedding.

 

I loved the structure of the top.  I got “8”‘s in both, but with my breasts I think I should have gotten a “10” in the top.  It fit well, but smashed the girls down a bit.  As much as I hate to get a “10′ I think I will need to exchange it for one.  For the girls’ sake.

The clothes had really nice details.  

The skirt would be fun to dance in because the fabric discs move. 

I also tried on the skirt with a tank and sweater, because I wanted I thought it would work well as a day to night item.  

I was alone at this point and couldn’t figure out my timer.

Shabby Apple also has Maternity dresses.

Check out the site for some nice women’s dresses and if you like their FB page they have promotions posted there.  and if you do like something as a Cool Mom reader you can get 10% off. ( “coolmom10off”at check out)

Not shabby!

I’m a Meme!

I’m so proud that a total stranger would take my image and make vaguely rude or suggestive jokes with it.  After a career in failed cable shows and blogging I think of my circle of fame to be a very small one. That’s why I never minded the mail from prisoners or foot fetishes.  At least someone was watching!  Probably why I love the character of Jenna so much on “30 Rock”.  A mere exaggeration of my own id.

Yesterday a friend emailed me, “OMG, you are meme.  I bet I’m the 100th person to tell you.” No, which means not only do I toil in obscurity, but I have few friends. Or no friends who keep up on meme.  Can’t say I’m that super hip either.  So first,

from wikipedia:

meme (play /ˈmm/meem)[1]) is “an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture.”[2] A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.[3]

The word meme is a shortening (modeled on gene) of mimeme (from Ancient Greek μίμημα Greek pronunciation: [míːmɛːma] mīmēma, “something imitated”, from μιμεῖσθαι mimeisthai, “to imitate”, from μῖμος mimos “mime”)[4] and it was coined by the British evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkinsin The Selfish Gene (1976)[1][5] as a concept for discussion of evolutionary principles in explaining the spread of ideas and cultural phenomena. Examples of memes given in the book included melodies, catch-phrases, fashion and the technology of building arches.[6]

Proponents theorize that memes may evolve by natural selection in a manner analogous to that of biological evolution. Memes do this through the processes of variationmutationcompetition and inheritance, each of which influence a meme’s reproductive success. Memes spread through the behaviors that they generate in their hosts. Memes that propagate less prolifically may become extinct, while others may survive, spread and (for better or for worse) mutate. Memes that replicate most effectively enjoy more success, and some may replicate effectively even when they prove to be detrimental to the welfare of their hosts.[7]

 

So will it be replicated?  Will I be?  Okay here it is.. two screen shots.

Love that Amy Pohler is some how part of this.  I don’t know the other lady, but I can share my meme.  I think the idea is to take the piss out of what a “coolmom” is.

Now some of these are accurate.  I do knock and wait for a response once your are over a certain age.  I would pick up my teens “drunk ass” at a party if needed, it has not been needed, but I have told the interested parties I would.  I do not look the other way if there is pot involved.  I’m not cool that way.  I also wouldn’t buy anybody else children beer, but if my own wanted a sip, sure.  I think the European way on this is better than making a bunch of binge drinkers.  And I’m NOT Stifler’s mom.  But, I might hit on a cute dad! ( kidding.. well maybe after I’ve been married longer)

You can add your own caption to my smiling face.  I did.  I made fun of myself.. well, the picture and image of my meme self that is. Here is the link.

Go on, it’s okay.