How to be a mom blogger : with Heather Spohr

I love me some Heather Spohr of Spohr’s are multiplying fame.  Aside from being a dear person who I have sought counsel from before, she is an established mom blogger.  She has been at this a long time and I wanted to ask her about something I had been struggling with in this being-creative-working-at-home thing. One of the most unexpected bonuses of entering this blog/vlog world has been the friendships I have made with other woman.  Often first knowing them online before knowing them in the flesh.

We met mid day between our two homes on a lovely sunny day.  Our studio for this shoot was my Lexis hybrid.  I had forgotten the clamp so I couldn’t use my camera light–ugh.. so my crows feet will be readily featured. It would have been very dark had Heather not said, “open up the sun roof”.  Smart!  Not Oprah lighting, but this is guerilla vlogging.

Where else can two mom’s talk without being interrupted but a car anyway?  Well, unless I got side by side toilets and lock on the door!

How to make it in Hollywood: Oscar nominee in the house!

My brother in law Kevin Tent has been nominated for an Oscar for film editing the George Clooney picture “The Descendants.” Allow me to burst with pride.  His is a great story of making it in Hollywood. This is no Gwyneth Paltrow with an “uncle” Speilberg story.  This is the American Dream.


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Happy couples at French Laundry ’06″

Kevin hitchhiked to LA from Buffalo when he was 19.  He showed up to go to a film school that he realized was a racket.  He instead went to LA city college and took film courses there and worked at Pep boys.  It was at LACC that he met my sister Carole. No fancy film school for this guy, but he learned the basics of film making.  Then he got a job editing educational films.  Great titles like “VD: old bugs, new problems”.  He always did his best and says that it was at Al Higgins production he learned to edit.

From there he graduated to Roger Corman movies.  He also got me a PA job and and apprentice editing gig.  This is back when editing was done on moviola’s and you needed a razor to cut the film.  I decided the long hours of post production were not for me, but Kevin steamed along.

He edited Tracy Lords’ first non porn film, the campy “Not of this Earth”.   He edited “Frankenhooker“.  We loved all these B films and Kevin worked on all of them.

The first time he had a film in Sundance I went with he and Carole .  It was for “Homage“.  The glamour of Sundance is for those on the ‘hot’ films.  Once we were there we realized our film wasn’t catching fire.  We slogged through the slush on the main drag of Park City disappointed.  I remember running into a friend of Kevin’s who was with the young star of his new film.  A perky little blond name Reese Witherspoon.  Kevin congratulated his friend on his film.

We went back to Sundance the next year for the first film Kevin ever did with Alexander Payne, “Citizen Ruth” (rent it).  This partnership would become a deep friendship and significant professional collaboration.  Citizen Ruth was a quirky comedy dealing with abortion ( who tackles that anymore) and the Christian right and girl who sniffs glue.   This trip was worth getting new boots and a parka for.  The film was getting some buzz.  I met Laura Dern and Alexander at the screening in a small movie house.  Back at the condo we had rented I was woken up as Carole and Kevin came back from a party.  Carole told me excitedly about the stars who were there.  I think Travolta, but it’s been a while.

Ironically, Kevin and Alexander’s next film was “Election” starring Reese Witherspoon.  Another must rent.

Kevin edited  a ton a film’s, but always come back to collaborate with Alexander.  Who, btw, is a good family friend and I’m very happy for his success ( he won for best adapted screenplay for “Sideways”). Alexander says “Campanile is our generation’s Chasen’s.”  Love that.


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with 4 day old Rex


So, my brother in law Kevin is the nicest guy you could ever meet.  A great dad,uncle and husband and was like a son to my dad.  He did a lot for my dad in his last years.  Following behind the ambulance that would take my dad to the hospital.  Visiting him in assisted living when my dad was doing very poorly and it was getting painful to see him.  Sometimes when his own daughters couldn’t handle it Kevin would go and sit with my dad.


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at “Papa’s” memorial. Kevin was the first to speak


He had two dear parents, Cathy and Charlie ( who my nephew is named for) that were taken way too soon.  I’m so sorry they aren’t here to see Kevin attain this level of success.  But, I know they wouldn’t be surprised.  Kevin has a great picture of he and his dad, must be over 20 years ago it was taken, Charlie is holding a Variety magazine and they are laughing as if they are reading some good news.  I told Kevin today, “that was prescient.  Your dad was seeing this nomination back then.”

It’s great to dwell for a moment in the good moments of life.  The moments that make you cry with joy.  Knowing what went into all that he has done in his adult life.  At least in this case,  a nice guy did finish first.

babysitting call

Ring, ring.. I answer

” Hi, may I speak to Rex or Vivien?” I’m startled to hear someone ask for my kids.

“um, Vivien is at school and Rex is taking a nap, I’m their mother can I help you?”  Thinking this is when the telemarketers let’s out a little laugh and says, ‘oh, sorry, I wanted to see if you need your carpets clean’ or something like that.

But, there was no laugh, the woman was dead serious.

“I’m from XYZ baby sitting and I  need to speak to Vivien or Rex about babysitting services we did for them last weekend.” Now, my mind is racing with , they want user feedback?  OMG is there some scandal? Are they going to ask my kids “did Jenny Sue touch you in a private place?”

I fall back to the position I know is rightfully mine.

“Ok, they are 2 and 6, I’m their mother, can you tell me what you want to talk to them about ?”

Still, dead straight.  ”One of the numbers on their credit card is off or I got the wrong number because I cant’ charge for the service.”

Does this woman really think a 2 and 6 year old have a credit card?
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I keep waiting for her to do the , “ha ha silly me, I’m looking at the name of the kids needing care, not the parental name who paid for it, ha, ha”  But, it doesn’t come.

“That’s MY credit cared.  ( again) I’m their mother.”

“Can you read the number again?”  Did someone come and steal this woman’s humility, and sense of humor?  Don’t we all operate with that lever in our heads that catches when we mess up and go to smooth the mistake out.

I give her the number.

Still non plussed, “oh, I had a 3 instead of a 6″.

Now, I want to hear  the “silly me” ( like I would say and 99% of the population) so bad I’m taunting her.  ”So we are good? Vivien doesn’t need to call you when she gets back from first grade?

Robot lady has the last word.  ”No, we are fine that’s all I needed.”

Freaky Friday

Weird things happened today. A mob hit?  An ominous warning?  Or just random funky stuff going down?

Awoken about 5:30 by pungent smell and damp feeling.  Ah, Rex had crawled in next to me and his pull up had sprung a leak.  I replaced it, flinging the wet diaper on the floor as I was so tired I couldn’t get up again.

Rex; “momma, I smell something.”

Me: “It’s your dirty diaper.”  I’m a class act.

After a few minute of trying to fall back to sleep with the pee smell wafting over me  I suggested we get up. Rex was thrilled.

Okay, so no big deal, just a moment of parenting.  I walk outside in my robe to get the paper.  As I walk back towards our front door I’m startled by what I see.

There lying in my garden, by the driveway near the front tire of my car is a cat.

The cat is sleeping. No, cats don’t sleep out in the open, in the cold The cat is dead.

It’s a calico cat with damp fur.  Probably doused by the sprinklers.

There is a thin brown blanket underneath it.

Different thoughts: Is someone sending us a warning?  Like a mob hit.  Did someone hit this poor cat on the street last night, thinking it is ours brought it to us in a kind ‘oops, sorry we killed your cat’ gesture?  It was creepy and I worried that it was one of my neighbors cats.  I went next door and woke him up.  He came out.  It wasn’t his cat.  It didn’t have a tag.

“well, it’s trash day”.  he said.

I really didn’t want the kids to see this.  It would have really upset him. It upset me. I ran to get Mark.  Really glad I am married as I knew my husband would ‘take care of this’.

After breakfast…which was a tad hard to eat… I was running around trying to get Vivien out the door to school. Rex was going to stay home with dad.  Mark was on the phone.  I knew he was talking to a relative about another relative who has had mental health issues.

“hey honey, will you be home by 11?”

“probably, well, not sure, why?”  Oh, just that they had decided this family member needed to be committed and he wanted to be there.

“I’ll take Rex with me.” I offered.  My trudging with a stroller a couple blocks didn’t seem that big of deal anymore.

I drove the kids while I tried to sort the placid routine of life with the bombshells life throws at you. The large socks full of horse manure, to paraphrase a Woody Allen line.

On the one hand, make sure Vivien eats breakfast and is taken to school, on the other hand someone close to us is having a breakdown.

The kids heard the word “hospital” so they were asking questions.  I didn’t lie, but tried to make it seem matter of fact.  Then Rex worried about other people in the family and started asking about them.  I told him they were fine.

“But, where is Oliver?” he asked with stress.

“He is at school”

“what are the names of his teachers?”  A few blocks later Rex came up with this:

“mommy, when I have my new daddy, he will be my new daddy.”

Me:  ”Rex, I admire that you are going to be so adaptable should something happen to your father, but your daddy is fine and he is and will always be your only daddy.”  Vivien and I tried this line for a while, but Rex kept talking about his new daddy.  I gave up and went to distraction.  Played knock knock jokes. It got a new line of thinking going.

Poor guy. I’m really glad he didn’t see the cat.

It’s was 8am.

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Inside mommy’s purse

Into the bowels of motherhood.  The true secrets of mommy.  The stuff we don’t want anyone to see..

until now…  a horror movie or a cry for help?

It’s just the inside of my purse (eck eck eck eck)
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Spare diapers, gold fish crackers, phone numbers to young sailors-wait, how did that get in there?

Normally I would rather show my muffin top than show the inside of my purse ( hmm, did that right).

I finally dumped my purse out on the porch yesterday as I was tired of getting my fingernails encrusted with crackers everytime I plunged in looking for my keys, a pen, my wallet, spare ointment.

How long do you go before you clean out your purse?  I’m thinking I should shoot for once a week and then it will happen once a month.

Oh, the shame

Caption this picture!

We are just back from a lovely weekend in Pismo Beach.  I’m going to write a longer post about it, but time for this now.

So, give me a caption for this photo:
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Why would a family be rolling 3/4 of a pound of butter in their stroller?
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Kinky or frugal..  Frugal is the answer.  We had a kitchen where we stayed and the local market only had this large size of butter. Chef Peel said it was cool enough that we could bring it home and it was the last thing grabbed as we left our accomadations.  But, maybe there is a better story?

How about, my husband the chef wants to be ready to cook wherever he is.  He also has a frying pan in his pants…or is he just glad to see me?

Cooking with Coolmom & kids: oatmeal

Cooking with young children is not a quick job, but they love to help. Nothing fancy, not giving my husband a run for his money.  Just like to get the offspring involved in food preparation.  The hope is that they

1) understand what goes in food

2) an appreciation for fresh, healthy foods

3) They won’t starve when they go to college and call me when they are 18 asking me how to cook rice (yeah, I did that, and thanks mom for not saying “read the bag you dumbass.)

I get fixated on a breakfast for about a year at a time.  Right now I’m into Oatmeal ala Daph.

LA girl Now

Frequent Cool Mom Player Carole Brogdon, my sister, has a blog of her own called lagirlnow. Now most of the content and information on this site will be of greatest interest to those in the Greater LA Metro area I think anyone can appreciate her writing.  I’ve long told her that she has a distinct voice in her writing.  Witty, lively.  Her letters cracked me up long before the web came along. She is an active stay at home mom who somehow manages to keep up on cultural happening in our city.  I don’t know how she does that so I do pop over to her site for the lowdown on what’s going on.   Here is a one recent post she did.  Yes, she did mention one my favorite eateries as well ( well, I co own it), but Brogdon girls promote each other. That’s how we (blog) roll.

(from lagirlnow.com)

Art ~ Vivian Maier at Merry Karnovsky Gallery

Don’t miss this exhibition entitled, Vivian Maier A Life Discovered, the opening night reception is this Saturday at the Merry Karnovsky Gallery. If you haven’t read about this hertofore unknown nanny who spent her life taking vivid black and white images on the streets of Chicago, it is quite a story. During her lifetime Vivian Maier was not recognized as the astute chronicler of people that she was. Her vast cache of negatives were found after her death and they are compelling pictures that should be seen. Post picture viewing just scoot up La Brea to The Tar Pit Restaurant for a perfect cocktail and dinner.

http://mkgallery.com/index.php

http://www.tarpitbar.com/

How long should Pre school be?

Preschool anxiety time… not for Rex.  For me.  Mommy separation issues. Not for Rex.  For me.

Rex has graduated to going to pre school two times a week from 8:45 to noon.  He could have done 3 days a week, but I decided against it.  He is my last baby and I wanted him a little longer. I mean look at him! I know I’m biased, but it can be hard to be away from that little guy.
rex

Now, the school, which I like, is asking if we would like to have Rex stay for lunch.  So his day would be two days a week till 1pm.  My first thought: HELL NO.

Too long of a day for my not quite 3 year old.

Now, are kids who are in day care all fine? Sure.  In the abstract.  But, for my little little cherub?
rex

Me: Vivien only went to school till noon when she was his age

Mark: but she went 5 days a week

Me: oh, yeah.

Me: It’s going to cost more.

Mark: it will cost 10 dollars.

But, won’t he be so tired? I think when I pick him up he will be face down on the lunch table snoring.

Now as a mature parent in control of her small children’s life I did the sound thing.  I asked the 35 month old what he wanted to do.
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I got a nod to “would you like to stay longer and have lunch with your friends?”

Sigh, guess we will try that… but not till next week.

How long is the right time in pre school?

Slim Fast / Sephora winner is…

I tried the new Slim Fast grab and go bottle.  Taste’s fine to me.  Like the old one in the can, but no faint metallic taste.  I’m not a nutritionist so I can’t speak to all that, but I would rather chug a couple of those than eat the wrong food.

Now, keeping to one of my resolutions is weight loss ( I know so hack!).  I’ve been doing a MINIMUM of walking 30 min a day.  I’m going to try and not look back ( HARD).

I loved reading your resolutions and got some great ideas from them.

The winners were chosen at random so even if your resolution was inspiring, you might not have won.

Drum roll please…

The winners are: Beatrice and …. someone who hasn’t written me back yet!  I will give her till the end of the day and then go to the alternate pick.

Hey, Winners, comment here and let us know what you are going to buy with your gift card.

Thanks for playing.