Dressing While Decaffed

That does it – I need caffeine. I had a homemade half-caf this morning, and after getting Viv’s lunch together and unloading the dishwasher, I got dressed. You can see the results below. I look like I’m in a cult. Or perhaps in preschool.

Daphne in her decaf pregnancy outfit

Here was my thinking process: “I am going to pre-natal Pilates, so I’ll put on leggings.” Then I thought, “I’m dropping off Viv at preschool first, and do I really want my crotch-space showing? What will the other mothers think?” So I decided to put on a skirt, but not many fit. Anyway, it was a mess. The Pilates teacher convinced me to lose the skirt, which I did. It’s LA: it could be a look.

The moral of the story was that after I dropped off Viv, I had another half-caf and then the world seemed a bit clearer. Sorry, Junior: Mom can’t think without caffeine.

Jenny McCarthy

Doesn’t Jenny McCarthy look like she would smell good? I didn’t sniff when I met her last weekend, but she was as warm and charming and fun as one would expect. I did a quick interview with her for the Fashion Team. The occasion was the opening of Neiman Marcus – a new, swanky branch of the Westfield mall in Canoga Park (in the San Fernando Valley), an area of LA not known for its chic shops; they are trying to throw down with the OC and Beverly Hills. Jenny was hosting the fashion show, and I was tapped to be a judge. The contestants were real shoppers who entered themselves.

Jenny has been out front with her struggles of having an autistic son. She believes a vaccine he got caused it, and she says he is better now, due to a special diet and play therapy. I can’t weigh in on that, but I do give her a lot of praise for her candor, which I think helps parents who have a child with special needs. She told me that when her son was really bad off, she didn’t brush her teeth for 4 months. And I thought skipping showers was rough!

On a lighter note, she also said she is growing out the adorable short ‘do she has had the last couple of years. Since I am “struggling” with my own short-hair issues, I was all ears. Jenny said, “If it’s not blown out right, I look like Bonnie Hunt.” To which I said, “If my hair isn’t blown out right, I look like Dorothy Hamill.”

I Hate My Haircut

Despite my earlier excitement, I now hate my haircut. It was so cute the first two weeks, but now:

  1. I can’t style it right.
  2. The Armenian lady at Fantastic Sams can’t style it, either.
  3. And this blowout, post root-job, isn’t working.

 

The layers need to be more flipped-out, in an old Meg Ryan kind of way, for it to work. This just makes me feel like a dumpy mom. I’m going to grow it out.

Harrumph.

Let’s Talk Fall Fashion Trends

Enough about politics and pregnancy, let’s talk fall trends. I have a tad bit of insight into this from my job co-hosting The Fashion Team on the TV Guide channel.

The Blouse To Have
With a bow or ruffle, it’s lady-like, sophisticated, and can be worn with jeans or a skirt. This blouse is part of the continued trend away from the big A-lines of last year, although on a fat day I loved those big lines.

Jewel Tones
Purple, magenta – have fun with color, saturated color. It is all about solids.

Bushy Brows
Every year there are a few trends I cannot partake in. This is one of them. I hate old pictures of me before I plucked. It may still work for Brooke Shields, but not for me.


Short Boot Shoe

Season two for these monsters. I am not a fan. Thankfully, my faves, the ballet flat, are still in.

Dr. Phil and Me

Okay, yesterday was a crazy day in TV. A few days ago, I was contacted by the Dr. Phil show regarding my video, Helicopter Moms. They wanted to use the piece as part of their show about “Free-Range” Moms” vs. Helicopter Moms. Apparently, they have way more OCD-inclined helicopter moms.

The standard-bearer for the free-range moms was NY-based mom Lenore, who started freerangekids.com after catching flack for allowing her 9-year-old to ride the subway by himself. I told the Dr. Phil people that I try not to be a helicopter mom, that I think it’s better to be more relaxed, as that is how I was raised. They were like,”Um, yeah, maybe we will just use your vlog.”

Sensing my 15 seconds of syndicated-daytime-TV-fame slipping through my fingertips (although, I used to do some comedic commentary on Ricki Lake as the show’s token white girl – besides Ricki), I called back and said, “You know, I really want to back up the free-range mom.”

The only snag was their taping started immediately after the Fashion Team taping ended. My producers were cool: “Okay, you can miss a segment and leave 15 minutes early.” Great.

Meanwhile, over the weekend, the Dr. Phil people wanted photos of my family at home; I sent them about 9. They wanted home movies of Vivien, and I gave them that. They needed a release from my husband, so we did that, and then they CHANGED THE TIME. Now they wanted me there while the Fashion Team was still taping!

I shoot the Fashion Team (which airs Tuesday at 8 pm on the TV Guide channel – plug!) on Tuesday mornings. It’s only about 10 minutes from the Dr. Phil set. I had a knot in my stomach as I asked to leave earlier. Again, my producers were very understanding – Dr. Phil does get 10 to 20 times our audience – but I did need to shoot most of my segments.

So, on the day of the shoot, I’m all dolled up (great dress, right? I don’t even look pregnant!), thanks to the wardrobe department at TV Guide, which is one of the best parts of my job (as is the professional makeup). I am trying to be calm as the clock is ticking and our Fashion Team shoot is inching along. My co-host, Lawrence Zarian, is very sweet and says he is happy to a few segments without me. Our guest is the costume designer of “Mad Men” (AMC, Sundays at 10pm). She is new to the on-camera world and during our interview she stumbles over a word and starts to break to ask, “Can I do that again?” but before she can, Lawrence Zarian and I jump in. On the break, she says, “I thought we could stop.” I wanted to scream, “If you want to be here all day and blow my chance to be on Dr. Phil, go right ahead!” But instead I say, “It’s better to keep going since they have to stop to make each edit.” Which is true: it takes forever.

I race out to my car, texting the Dr. Phil show that I am on my way, as I was 15 minutes late already. They have a golf cart waiting for me at the studio gate. The show is ready to go, and the warm-up guy – one of the hardest and most unsung jobs in show biz – is vamping for time, making jokes and giving away Dr. Phil mugs and books. I am finally seated in the front row. The studio is so cold my teeth are chattering.

Lenore starts with the doctor telling her story. Then it goes to a super over-protective mom. I’m waiting… then there’s another over-protective mom across the aisle from me. Um, where are those pictures of my stepdaughter and Viv hand in hand? Finally Dr. Phil introduces me. He shows part of my vlog, I think it got a good response, but I am thinking, WHICH ONE OF MY MANY WITTY ANECDOTES WILL I SHARE WITH DR. PHIL? I am not sure how much give-and-take there will be. He addressed me and I blurt out in a nutshell that I came to think I needed to get over myself and be a calmer, more open mom. He asked, “Why?” So I told him why, then he turned to the A guests (those on stage) and explained the lesson I helped illustrate.

More segments, but no more of me. On a break, Dr. Phil looked down at me, smiled and nodded. I’m thinking, “Um, I have more to say, um, where’s my home movie?”

These kinds of talk shows are very well-produced, but maybe too well-produced. There’s no forum for give-and-take. But then I’m sure not everyone would be as television-savvy as I would be, and they may really blather on. Also the show became a parade of the disasters of the overly controlling mom. Though Dr. Phil did have good advice.

I don’t know when it will be on, but I will announce that here on Cool Mom, of course, when I know.

I hope I get my MiniDV back.

Haircut 100 part 2

Since I’ve had an overwhelming response to my new hair cut, including requests for more shots of it (well, 2 actually, but in my mind it’s a riot). If you want more hair shots I will provide them! Not one, but two pictures! It is not short in the back like the popular Victoria Beckham style for which I had a longer version of before. Note, I am showing you my roots as well.

My one correction is that it’s not totally maintenance free. I have hair like fiberglass so I can go 5 days without washing it. To some of you this may sound gross, but I swear it is true. I go to Fantastic Sam’s to get it washed, and then I’m set for most of the week. I tried to do a home job and this haircut looks, AWFUL if not blown out right. Also, it is important to note, I don’t think it would be much on thin hair. If I use a big round brush or curls it looks like I’m on “News at 5,” in Dallas.

My hair is like carbon dating. I’ve done the Dorothy Hamill, the shag, even the Mullet. I did the Jennifer Anniston (and time for her to change it up too) I think the only hair trend I missed was in the late eighties I never got the perm. Missing the eighties perm, probably had something to do with the fact that I was too stoned.

Day-Off Smackdown

Isn’t funny how when movies and books and music depict romance they don’t cover the real particulars of relationships? For instance, who is more entitled to a day off from the kids, mom or dad?

Well, I have decided where Hollywood and literature have let us down, I will try to pick up the ball.

No Solutions

All parents are looking for the magic bullet to ease their suffering, shut the kids up, not embarrassing ourselves in the process, get some sleep, etc, etc. But is there one? I think if we all realize we can control our children, not really, maybe we’ll (I mean me) get less agro. Of course I am trying to control Vivian a bit this week so I can sit and watch the convention. For a political junkie like me, the next two weeks are like Christmas.

Haircut 100

Remember them (Haircut 100)? Loved their hit in junior high. Anyway, here is my new do. I got it cut last week. In the last year I keep getting shorter. Everyone likes it except my husband who misses my long hair. I have hair as thick as kudzu, so it’s nice to have a style without having to style. I had been doing a Katie Holmes/Victoria Beckham kind of wedge, but it was starting to look a little like a Dorothy Hamill (which I also had), so I asked my haircutter to change it up.

I do think I need to grow it again, because in 5 to 10 years I will be that age that starts to look goofy with long hair.

It’s not too much a “mom” cut, right? I don’t want a hairdo that goes with pleated jeans and a mini van. But, gosh it is easier.

Airplane People

I can really get in a lather over people who complain about babies on airplanes. It’s a public place. Air travel is NOT a luxury these days. I am far more disturbed by the loudmouth who is YELLING their conversation into the phone before take off (there are no secrets we are just pretending not to hear you), or the loud talkers seated the row behind.

Also, no one feels worse about a crying baby than the parents who are trying, and trying everything to calm it down.

Years ago I was in a geology lecture in college, there was a woman with a baby in the class, and God love her for going on with her education while being a mom of a young one. She didn’t have any help caring for the child and I often saw her with a notebook and baby in hand. One day the baby was fussing, I noticed it, we all did, but we kept on with the lecture. It was a bit distracting finally she chose to get up with her child and walked out of the lecture hall. The professor, who was the sweetest guy, stopped his lecture and said to the class, “did she leave? Oh no, please someone go and get her. She needs to be in class, the baby wasn’t bothering me, was it bothering any of you? (No one was going to raise there hand to that),” “we were all babies once.”

That is the truth.