Cruel online week

In case we had forgotten the past week reminded us that there are evil people in the world.

Most people are not evil.  More people ran to help the wounded in Boston than set the bombs off.

Online though mean comments run rampant.  I just got one

You are not a cougar. You are an old incompetent wrinkly cat that has lived beyond its years. You are so disgusting that your husband looks suicidal in every one of his pictures. You are the type of person they pictured when they added instructions to a bar of soap. If human intellect was all the water in the world, you would be the single drop of sweat rolling down a fat man’s ass crack. Shut the fuck up.

Thanks Mom.

Really, since there are millions of site I don’t have to shut the fuck up, you kind person can go to another site.  Gwyneth Paltrow totally bugs me, but I wouldn’t go on her site and tell her.

Worse than being told I have wrinkles and husband would rather die than be with me. I have two friends whose children have died and at some point amidst the out pouring of loving messages on their blogs they have both gotten the MEANEST comments in a sense blaming them for their children’s passing or saying that their kids are in hell.

Clearly, that’s not someone who has a beer and an ax to grind but truly CRAZY.  Crazy and Evil.

Look, if you won’t go up to someone you see at Trader Joe’s and say it to their face don’t write it online.  I saw someone at TJ’s I have no love for, or she for me, but I just buried my head in the yogurt section till she had moved on.

Oh, but wait I forgot, I’m not CRAZY.  Just wrinkly.

 

Getting back to my roots

Let’s talk about the really big news around here.  My hair.

After 20 years of dying my hair blonde.  I have gone back to my roots. Well, with a few highlights as well.  I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.

I'm naturally blonde and I have a cake!

Hear is my Hair Story:  Like many of us I was a blonde little child.  Golden locks, wispy buttery strands that flew through the rich Culver City air.  I stood out in my clan as they were all brown haired, brown eyed people.

Make Blonde not war

Then in adolescents.. I started to change.  The hair became darker, so I sprayed on Sun In.  But, that left it kind of orangy.  By High School I was done trying.  It was all brown.  My super thick hair a blunt cut that sat on my head like a helmet.  So, I cut it SHORT.  Very Molly Ringwald 1980′s. Daphne Brogdon 1980′s.

Molly, not me, but very close

I went to college and let it go where it would.  I was thinking about saving the world and listening to Grateful Dead, wearing huarache sandals so I didn’t realize that I had developed (gulp)

A MULLET

It was even kind of blue for awhile and then red, due to some temporary dye that wasn’t.  But, hey college is a time of experimentation, right?

"Does that girl have a mullet?"

I went home one summer before my junior year and walked into my friend Carolyn’s hair salon.  ”OMG ” she screamed,  ” You look like someone from Sonoma County.”  This was before Sonoma county had great wine and cheese, but was hick central.  I finally came to.

“HELP ME”  She chopped the party in the back off.  Several weeks later she put in highlights.  Then I was on the road to blonde.  It felt like I was back to me.  The golden child.

Now, blondes do turn heads.  But, not so much when they are in sweat pants pushing a stroller.  I like my blonde when I’m all done up or on TV.

If only I always looked like this. But then I'd be on Real Housewives of Culver City

But, that’s not what most of my life is like.  I still want to be pretty.  I have not “given up”.  But, I don’t want to chase a look right now either. It’s also a lot of maintenance and money. I tell Vivien as I gaze at her naturally perfect highlighted hair, don’t chase the blonde Viv.  When you are older, go gently into the sweet night of brown. I don’t want her to spend time on that when she will be in a great scientist discovering a cure for cancer.  She has better things to do.

So, I’ve gone brown.  I’ve gone bangs.  Michele Obama said her bangs were her mid life crisis.  I feel kind of the same way. Although, I would prefer Channing Tatum or Bradley Cooper to also be part of this crisis.“Daph, we like brunettes. Brown brings out the blue eyes”

This is going to sound really goofy, but going darker is one of the bravest things I’ve done in a while.  My friends really see it.  Most like it, a few say they prefer the blonde.  Talking about hair sounds trite, yet it is a part of our identity.

I’ll probably go blonde again.  I always pictured myself a little old lady in a golf dress  with over tan skin in Palm Springs, short blonde hair dropping coins for the lifeguard to pick up for me

I would love to look like Cloris when I'm her age

We’ll see.

 

children make you lose weight

Can having children help you lose weight?  Here I am starting on the journey of both kids in school five days a week:  Rex preschool, Vivien 2nd grade, and  Oliver off to college. I’m hopeful that this new schedule means my workout routine will skyrocket me back into my size 4′s. Here I am jogging for 30 minutes on the first day of this new, freed up mommy sked.

Yeah, not pretty.

However, I was asked by a fitness writer if she could contribute a post. I don’t normally do that, but I’m  wondering, “did I just send my best personal trainers off to school?”Wouldn’t I look cuter playing with children than the hot mess I am here?”  Pass me the air guitar!

So, from Jennifer Bayliss, who has lots of initials after her name, from Everyday Health is part of the answer.

Channeling Your Inner Child

I don’t know how or when it happened, but my kids are growing up. My oldest child is now entering kindergarten and I am finding myself bombarded with organized activities–soccer, T-Ball, hockey, karate, even outdoor play is now a scheduled event instead of a spontaneous childhood endeavor.
I can remember being the same age as my son and asking my parents to go to gymnastics, tennis lessons, and dance classes like my friends. As the proud, but overwhelmed, parents of a new set of twins, their reply was to tell me to go play outside, but not to leave the yard. What? How fun is that? But I found myself, literally, outside and running laps around our house. I would try to see how many times I could go around without needing to stop and each time I would try and top my last number.
I find myself trying to find a balance with my son. I want him to be part of an organized activity so he learns the benefits of team play and working with others, but I also yearn for him to spend lots of time running and exploring on his own. I now understand the value of unplanned and free play as an opportunity to tap into his imagination, to learn that not only is our yard an outdoor extension of our home, but it can also double as an Olympic Track and Field venue. And to top it all off, it’s great for his health.
These days I find myself playing right alongside my son

(a)because I love spending time with him and

(b) because now I know that outdoor play burns calories and builds lean muscle. As an adult, I still tend to crave organized activity as well–Spin Class, Zumba, Boot Camp Class, or a half marathon. And I still do all of those classes and running events, but now I find myself looking at the playground at our local elementary school in a different light. Those monkey bars and wobbly bridge are a boot camp style obstacle course. I just need to use my imagination and be creative with my workouts. So while my son is acting like an almost 6-year-old little boy, I am getting my exercise in for the day. Just to give you a little idea of how many calories you can burn per minute playing with your child:
Average Calories Burned Per Minute (based on a 150lb person)

Riding Bikes: 5 calories
Jumping Rope: 14 calories
Climbing a Tree: 4.5 calories
Hop Scotch: 7 calories
Dancing: 9 calories
Exploring in the Woods: 7 calories
Jumping On and Off a Tree Stump in Said Woods: 14 calories
Playing Tag: 7 calories
Running Laps Around the House: 12 calories
Playing Air Guitar: 4 calories
Just think how good this is for your child too! Now get out there and play.

Jennifer Bayliss, MSEd, ATC, CSCS, Manager of Fitness for Everyday Health’s Calorie Counter is a guest blogger and mother who loves burning calories while benefiting her son’s health. 

Source: 2011 Compendium of Physical Activities

Mommy body issues

As I keep telling PR people who want me to interview their clients, “Will they come to my house?”  I passed on people from Katie Couric on down ( she wouldn’t be interviewed on camera anyway).  But, Coolmom regular Sara Chana, Homeopath and Herbalist, Breastfeeding Expert, Birthing Instructor, keeps coming back to the cool mom studio ( today it’s in my living room).  As one who was raised on Merv Griffin I feel like she is my Shelly Winters, or Totie Fields.  A favorite guest who pops on whether they have something to promote or not.  It’s always fun to talk to her.  Maybe she is my Dick Cavett.

Notice that my cat is lurking in the back like a disgruntled band leader. I don’t know if it’s Apple or Julia.  I think she thinks if she gets in frame enough she get her SAG card.  Huh, kiddie, the web won’t help you that.  Maybe you want to run away to a movie stars house?

I can only hope.

So, How has your body changed?