colon diaries

I know what you are thinking, Daphne, how is your colon?

As some of you may recall while filming season 2 of Daphne Dishes for the Food Network ( Oh, Please food god let their be a season 3, pls, pls pls) I was hit with a bowel tornado.  As I made delicious food that I eventually couldn’t swallow it was found that I had C-diff.  A perfect storm of too many antibiotics and picking a germ that KILLED the good bacteria in my gut.  It lead to some misadventures like getting locked in a bathroom at UCLA hospital.

you would never know, but this was the day it hit.  Filming Daphne Dishes at Santa Monica Pier "Food that scare you"

you would never know, but this was the day it hit. Filming Daphne Dishes at Santa Monica Pier “Food that scare you”

So, 3 rounds of medication later I’m about to set sail ( fly) to Italy.  Again, I prayed, “Please let me eat in Italy, pls, pls, pls) Maybe it was the meds, the chinese herb tea, the acupuncture, the begging, the mediterranean heat, but I did well.  I did not need to rush to the Toilet, I did not have super grinding pain.  I had some pain with beef, cheese and more pain with raw vegi’s.

So, lucky me I enjoyed the trip.  Now, when I come back I see the specialist I had booked months ago.  He is a big booster of the fecal transplant.   So, get this.  A company has monetized crap. It goes and finds the best crap. Tests it for bad…stuff.. then freezes it. So if I were to get this done, if the C-diff returns, I would have a colonoscopy and this ice cube of crap would be put deep into my intestine.  It is said to work very well.

In October this same company has a new pill coming out basically full of crap.  I would have to go to the doctors office, take 30 pills with lots of water. Then come back the next day and do it again.  So, swallow someone’s doo, or have it put in my back side.

For, now I don’t have to decide as I’m mending. (pls,pls, pls)

By the way, all those who tell you to lose weight by not eating carbs?  Bread was virtually the only thing I could eat with C-diff for weeks. I lost 10 lbs.my diet since I got sick and I’ve  I knew that was … crap.

how I got accidentally locked in the UCLA hospital deli

 

 

So, while I have been recovering from my bout with c-diff I’m not all good.  It’s been a while since I was done with the medicine that is suppose to heal me and I’ve been going on C-diff websites where people say years later they still can’t eat what they use to.  Well, 3 weeks of No alcohol and mild foods is ok.  But, bland food is well bland.  A few times I ventured to the land of flavor and I pay for it the next day.

some days this is how I feel

some days this is how I feel

I went to the doctor last week.  She said it could take a few more weeks and if the issue persists or gets worse to come back and give another “sample”.  Oh joy.  The worst part is not having to be so close to my waste product, but having to DRIVE ACROSS TOWN to UCLA.  It’s all surface streets.  Always congested.  So, I waited till after 6 thinking I was outsmarting LA traffic. Wrong. Very slow going. The lab closes at 7 and I was hoping to get in there, get the “kit”, do the deed and go home.  I don’t want to have to DRIVE back ACROSS TOWN the next day with my sample.    I also had to do some grocery shopping. So I parked at Ralph’s in Westwood and ran to the lab.  It was 6:51.

I asked if I would have time to get this all DONE.  A nice lady named Marcella chimed in.  “I’m staying till 8pm.  If the gate is down just call for me and I will open it up for you.”  I told her how I had a dear Aunt who is also named Marcella ( she is now gone, didn’t tell her that) Thanked her and announced that I would have a cup of coffee and soon be back with my package.  I walked over to the Medical Plaza Deli.  Bought some expensive, but tasty cold brew. cold brew

I was feeling fine.  As moms often do I was enjoying having a little “me” time.  I sipped my brew waiting for nature to kick in as I fan geeked out reading all about my newest TV obsession, “Orphan Black”.

Don't go in there Sarah, you might not get out!

Don’t go in there Sarah, you might not get out!

I’m all caught up and don’t want to be a spoiler, but the most recent episode was juicy.  I switched to a big glass of water as the time ticked by.  The deli was quiet, just me and two workers.  A stray person here and there. Should I go to the lab bathroom?  Wait, think it’s closed.

Finally, I think I’m ready to finish the job I came to do.  I take my enormous brown paper bag the lab gave me. With the plastic bowl and other lab goodies and settle in the deli bathroom.  While I read an interview with the actor who plays “Felix” I start to get concerned that this may not get done in time before Marcella has to leave. I keep checking my watch. Alas, task complete.   I  put the charming little plastic bottle in my bag and am ready to high tail it to the lab with minutes to spare. Then I will go grocery shopping and just make it home in time to kiss my kids good night.

I walk out and I see it’s darker than it was before.  I go to the door.  It’s dead bolted.  I go to the side door.  It’s dead bolted.

“Hello?”  I call out.  Nothing.  “Hello?”  Certain that a worker will emerge from the back.  But, they don’t.

I start to get worried.  I jump over the counter into the back kitchen.  I open many doors.  Mostly closest.  I open one door that goes into a little alcove where there are two more doors and one elevator.  Oh, phew.  I almost let the door behind me close, but propped it open with my purse.  Glad I did. The other two doors are locked and the elevator doesn’t respond to the buttons.  The light keeps going out.  No up, no down.  I go back in.  I find a camera in the ceiling.  I jump up and down and wave hoping some security person sees this.  I go to the front door and yell between the crack in the door and bang on it as three coeds come by.

“Please help, I’m locked in.  Can you please go tell that police officer I’m locked in? ”  They are kind and rush over to the police car that is parked about 100 feet away.

locked inside.. hey Mr. Police man

locked inside.. hey Mr. Police man

I see them gesticulating, showing him where I am.  Phew, surely, he will be here on the double. Nothing else going on at this nearly deserted campus.   He doesn’t move.  I wave my hands.  He slowly moves his car down the drive toward me…He wasn’t 100 feet away.  Why did he have to drive?  He parks.  No movement. Is he calling for back up in case I’m armed with chips and Snapple?  I start rattling the door to indicate my desperation because I’m desperate.  If he doesn’t come over I think of pulling the fire alarm.  Marcella is about to leave.  I’m going to have to drive home with a canister of crap.  If I’m here at the medical plaza I’m probably sick, right dude?  Or have someone close to me that is ill.  Step on it.    My kids are home with a sitter I’m paying as I sit here.  I’m tired.  I’m hungry, but can’t really feast on the Good Humor bars or granola bars on the counter.  Hurry up copper! He saunters over.  I explain my issue.  He walks away.  Then he comes back to the door with a nice woman who works for UCLA security.

“We are trying to find the tenant who has the key.  Can you just sit tight?” she says.

“I don’t really have a choice.”  I say with a shrug.

anyone?  anyone?

anyone? anyone?  I was just a lady looking for quiet a can, then it got weird.

I get a text from a friend from my grief group.  She is having a hard time.  So often we don’t have time to talk to a friend.  Well, I have time.  I call her up.

I start with a joke.  “Guess where I am?  If you say locked in the UCLA medical plaza deli you are right!”  I get her to laugh.  Then we talk about feelings.  A couple of times I had to say, “oh, hang on, they are back.”  The police officer checks in, “We are still looking for the key.”  Another guard tries the side door.

It's getting darker

It’s getting darker

A UCLA guard, Jose, comes by.  “How are you doing?”  I get off the phone and tell him I found some doors that are locked, but there is an elevator.  Could he come through the elevator? He walks away. It’s now 8:30 and there is no way Marcella is still there.  They say the owner is coming, but maybe he lives in Sylmar.

More time.  I go back into the kitchen. Vivien calls me.  “mommy where are you?”  I’m locked inside the UCLA deli.

“You what?”  like a 9 year old has never heard that story.

“Honey let me call you back.  I want to check the back exit again.  I’m fine.  Don’t worry.” If she knew how close I was to a case of Pirate Booty she might have envied my position.

I walk to the back through the kitchen.  Open the same door that led me to nowhere, but this time the elevator is open!  I’m out.  I start shouting, running into the lobby.  The lady security guard welcomes me, “come out!”  Yeah!  They take my name and number.  They say that have to file an incidence report.  They say “the owner will want to call you.”

liberators

I thank Jose, my hero for getting the elevator open.

I know it’s futile, but I run over to the lab.  The gate is down.  “Marcella” I yell.  She jumps out of the office.

“You’re here!” I could hug her.

“I left, but came back.  I was worried about you.” the dear angel said.  I told her what happen and then my phone rings.  My kids are freaking out.  “Are you still trapped?”  Rex is starting to cry.   “I’m Ok.  I out.  I’m going to come home.”

Marcella says, “give it to me and go home to your babies.”  I hesitate.

She assures me.  “I’ve seen it all.”  This has been the most humbling, humiliating and hilarious experience.  I hand over my container. I thank her profusly.

I head over to Ralph’s and while I quickly shop I feel the adrenaline leave me.  I feel shaky and exhausted.  That wasn’t fun, I think.  Being imprisoned in an empty deli with soft drinks and a stool sample. My phone rings.

“Is this Daphne?” a man asks. “This is John, I own the deli.  I am so sorry.”  He was very nice and very apologetic.  “My team members should have checked the bathrooms before they left.”

“Well, alls well that ends well.” I say.
” I have enjoyed your matzo ball soup there before, but it taste better when I’m there of my own free will.”

John brightens. “Please keep my number.  Next time you are there ask for me and you get all the matzo ball soup you want.”  If he knew it’s one of the few things I can safely eat now he might not have offered.  Only the cross town drive is keeping me from cashing in that freebie.

Today the results are in. I still have C-Diff. Tomorrow I get a new medicine to try and clear out the infection or I am in danger of getting something more serious that can make my colon enlarge.  Sigh.  I’ll eventually get better, but now I have another problem.

Fear of abandonment.

 

 

 

dangers of antibiotics

 

When you are shooting a cooking show imagine not being able to eat.  No, this is not the Giada de Laurentiis story.  While shooting the most recent season of shows I developed a very unattractive condition.

the day my health took a turn.  shooting at Grand Central Market and looking for a bathroom every 5 minutes

the day my health took a turn. shooting at Grand Central Market and looking for a bathroom every 5 minutes

So, you read about the dangers of anti biotics .. but I figure that will happen to someone else, like aging.  But, low and behold I had an intestinal distress that was a cross between a trip to Mexico and labor.  It went on and on.  I’m more the “Oh, why go to the doctor, it’s just a virus type”, but finally relented after we twice had to stop shooting early. I was not in DaphMasterFlash form.   I kept thinking it would get better.  It didn’t.  The doctor on call said that he suspected I had gotten C-Diff.  It’s a bacterial infection you get when  the antibiotics you took 3-4 weeks before for something else kills your good bacteria in your bowel. ( I had taken two courses a month previous for Strep)  Think of it like your bowels are a trash compactor, but the C-diff caused an electrical outage so the trash can’t be compacted and just flows out with grinding pain that makes it difficult to stand in front of a camera and talk about food.

How to diagnosis?    One day we started shooting later while I high tailed it to UCLA Medical to give 7 “samples”.  The most revolting thing ever.

How to feel better?  Stop eating.  That’s what I did.

still not knowing what I had I read my script with a kaopectate chaser.

still not knowing what I had I read my script with a kaopectate chaser.

 

We had a lot of shows to do.  I had to keep working. I had sweet friends come and guest star on the show.  I was making great food.  One night I made a really fantastic, fancy meal for the show and was feeling ok, so I ate it all. It was a fun night.  The next day we had off and I couldn’t get out of bed.  Except to go to the, well, you know.

Let's live for tonight!!

Let’s live for tonight!!

Two days later they called and said to hurry up and start taking Flagyl to get rid of the C-diff. I had had ELEVEN days of… D-stress… if you know what I mean.   I have to eat very simple, bland foods and not drink at all.  If I have protruding collar bones by the end of this it will have been worth it.  The last days of the shoot I was feeling a bit better, but weak.   I would sit on a stool while we talked through what we were going to shoot.  When it was time to get on camera they would pull the stool away from me and I would bring it!  I felt better performing.  I was so focused on the job it got my mind of the grinding, labor like pain I was in.

behind the scenes:  while I made great food, this is what I was eating OFF camera.  Green tea, pro biotics, pedialyte

behind the scenes: while I made great food, this is what I was eating OFF camera. Green tea,bananas, pro biotics, pedialyte

The medicine made me dizzy . As soon as the shoot was done I went down for 48 hours and put myself on healing with funny movies.  My faves so far to wipe the tension off my face and put on a smile: “Hot Tub Time Machine”  ( My generation)  “The Wedding Ringer”. Basically, if it didn’t have dick and fart jokes, I was not interested.  (Not as good “Admission” with Tina Fey and “It’s Complicated”, both need 30 min cut and a better script. ) Also caught up with all the Jane the Virgin’s. Please, do yourself a favor and watch it.  From the start.  So funny and has satire and magical realism, all my faves.

The good news is I had put on some Grief Pounds, so I’m psyched that I have lost 9 lbs. B

Okay, so be careful with your gut… and wash your hands.

pediatric dentistry

Rex just had general anesthesia for some cavities.  I had no idea they were doing this now.  My dentist just shamed me till I let her work on me.

if this was my dentist I would be like Marcia Brady in that episode when she dreams of being "Mrs. Marcia Dentist"

if this was my dentist I would be like Marcia Brady in that episode when she dreams of being “Mrs. Marcia Dentist”

“you crying?  You crying?  Why you crying?  Your sister isn’t crying.”  I look over and see my sister serenely in the other chair bravely handling the Novocaine shot.  Did I mention I grew up in LA and my mom took us to a black woman dentist so we had positive role models?  Might have been more positive if she hadn’t been so rough.Tough love ’70’s has given way to medicate 21st c.

It’s in favor to not traumatize kids with dentistry.  We tried it a few weeks ago with laughing gas, but he just got more fun.  One of the doctors said he is “spicy”. Full of beans I always say.  So this morning he got a shot.  Cried, then fell asleep in my arms.  They carried him in and his 3 cavities had morphed to 6.  Little ones against each other.  The dentist said to avoid gummy vitamins… they get in and hard to get out with brushing.  Hard enough to get him to brush his teeth, unlikely big flossing would happen shortly.  Here I thought it was good I was giving them vitamins.  Bad mom. Oh and by the way, insurance doesn’t pay for the anesthesia.

I peaked in.  He was passed out, mouth open wide, oxygen over his nose, IV in his hand, a blanket over his body and his little feet peeking out.  Oh, the vulnerability!  ( he hates wearing shoes)

When he came out of it, slowly emerging from the sleep, he was very dizzy.  We carried him to the car and I sat next to him.  They said, “don’t let him drive”  I did let him take the wheel this weekend at the Peterson museum.kid area in peterson auto museum  Carried him in, laid down on the coach and watched Brave.  By the last half hour of the film he was better.
“I want a grilled cheese sandwich.”

A good choice.

 

 

Lyogging ( a new word)

 

So the good news is the pain I had last week in my throat has abated considerablly, the bad news is I have mono.  Doctor says I’ll be fatigued for about a month.  I’m already tired, but now above the motherhood reason.  So I wanted to blog, but I need to go to bed.  So, thus Lyogging is born.  Lying down and blogging.

 

motherHere is the kind of crack analysis I’m doing from home right now. (you hit the “here” word)

So, Mono is passed through saliva, kissing, sharing utensils, cups, etc.  Here is where I think I got it… I was slaving away at the school fundraiser, auction, hoopla.  I find it kind of miserable.  There was almost no food and I had to do the live auction portion where no one was listening to me so I shamed friends from the stage into listening, “Phyllis, Phyllis I see you!”  It wasn’t really their fault as it was bad acoustics, but I was going to hell and taking everyone with me.  So, I was thirsty and traumatized.  A couple of times I grabbed some bottles of water and I was pretty sure they were not MY waters, but I was wiped.  So, it could have happened there.  Or maybe some barista was mad I didn’t throw a dollar in karma jar and spit in my coffee, who knows?  ( there is no instant karma and the suggestion that my good fortune is being held hostage by a pierced twenty something who majored in philosophy annoys me)angry barista

Last week I was in deep throat pain. ( Wait, that didn’t sound right.)  I missed out on the     “Chef” film screening we were invited to.  Mark liked it.

I’m not totally incapacitated.  I will rally for things I have to.  For instance, my cousin’s son wedding.  I’ll throw on some lipstick for that one.  As I was trolling their registry it reminded me of the vid I did about wedding china.  Which I think is funny, but dang worth it, for that little Rex! One of the hardest things about Mono is holding back kissing these little cuties!

Sadly, I doubt many caught in the California fires had a chance to grab their china.  It’s really global warming exhibit A right now.  I grew up here and IT”S NEVER been this hot in May.  In fact our June gloom usually starts in May.  It’s Flipping Scary.  Other than turning off lights I’m a little stymied as how I can help our world not become a permanent inferno. Then king dumbass Marco Rubio said he doesn’t “believe” that humans contribute to global warming. Science isn’t a belief, junior.  He also said he is ready to be president.  He can’t mean our country, he must mean Florida Kiwanis.  If they’ll have him.

Oh, geez,  that guy is a Senator? Too sad.  I better go back to bed.. back to lyogging

 

 

 

Things I learned while I’m sick

Dudes, I am SICK.  What started as an itchy throat as been growing all week.  It’s gnarly.  Got checked for strep, not it. Drag, means it’s a virus I have to suffer through.  Went to an acupuncturist, helped the pain some. Still down. So as I lay here in my own sweat I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve learned this week.  Other than a scrunchy can stay in my hair for days on end. This is list is in no particular order, much like myself.

Not how I look AT ALL right now.  Bad enough my dog sees me now, let's limit the exposure

Not how I look AT ALL right now. Bad enough my dog sees me now, let’s limit the exposure

1) There is a Year of Barbara on the View.. almost up.  Didn’t know. Never watch it anymore.

2) Drew Carey has NEVER been an acceptable choice for “The Price is Right”

3) Thank you Dallas on TNT.  Watching almost the entire season, which just ended.  Got me through the most painful night when I couldn’t even read Rex a bedtime story.  He asked me, “Can I watch a cartoon with you?”  My selfishness kicked in.  No, Honey, because mommy is on the thin edge and I want to watch this telenovela like soap with hunky men and scores of inappropriate things that occupy my mind instead of thinking of how much pain I’m in.  So, I learned a pain management trick and that Judith Light is still Brilliant!!

Hit the hyperlink to see why She's the Boss

Hit the hyperlink to see why She’s the Boss

The show repeats all the time, check it out.

4) Donny Osmond looks great.  If I was in Vegas I’d think of about seeing him and Marie.  I bet that’s a good show.

5) Pastor Rick Warren and his wife are saying really cool stuff about mental illness.  Destigmatizing it.  I haven’t always agreed with Warren in the past, but think it’s brave that after their son’s suicide they are using their platform to push for this issue.

6) Tom and Lorenzo is one of my favorite websites.  As you may remember I hosted a fashion show on TV Guide for many years and I know good red carpet catty talk when I see it.  These guys are the TOPS!  I almost always agree with them. Funny.  Follow the link to see them rip on the Met Gala.  Here is what they said about Elizabeth Olsen.  So rich.  Sorry cut her head.Elizabeth Olsen at the met

“No. inappropriate. Go home and find a skirt that goes to the floor. Not to mention accessories that match. Your sisters didn’t talk to you all night, did they?“-Tom and Lorenzo.com

7) People aren’t dressing up as much as they use to at the Met Gala.

8) Mrs. Sterling is weird too.  This Donald Sterling story is huge news her in LA.  The guy has long run these really bad ads in the LA Times, and I use to think, ” Who is this  Ryan O’Neal impersonator and his cheesy ads?  All that money and he can’t hire a graphic designer to do his ads.  Mrs.  Sterling wants to keep ownership of the Clippers.  She is alone.

9) I don’t get the eyebrow pierce.   If it’s design trends they are after, why don’t people put reclaimed wood on their face?

10) I have to stop reading about the Cleveland kidnap survivors.  The People Magazine arrived, I got back in bed.. but that poor lady Michelle Knight’s story was in.  If you have been through what she went through and are still standing she can get whatever pierce or tattoo she wants.

11) Nigerian kidnapping. Ugh, sigh, of course #bringbackourgirls.michelle obama bring back our girls  It’s hideous.  I hope America can get them now that they are allowed to help.  Can’t  Liam Neeson do something?

Oh, now it’s getting to dark reality.  Wish there was more Dallas?  I only have “The Good Wife” taped and I don’t want to watch about a shooting and they all speak so low.

Tell me what else I can “learn” about while lay here. What should I DVR or a good site to go to?

 

Flu flew in

Like a dumbass I didn’t get a flu shot.  Earlier this week I felt it coming on. Came on fast.  I got in the car to go to a home improvement store and by the time I was asking for vinyl mesh (so my dog doesn’t crawl out of our gate) I felt sick.  Aches, thick head, chills, cough, etc.  It’s been years since I had it, but I remember.  It truly sucks.  Fortunatly, I knew to call my GP and left a message asking her to call in a prescription for Tami Flu.  If she had made me truck cross town to be examined by her, honestly, I don’t think I could have done it.  She did not ( cancel plans to change doctor).  Mark picked it up for me and by the next day I felt a wee bit better.

how I feel and I feel I look

how I feel and I feel I look

The other issue was Rex.  He is getting his annual in a couple of weeks which will include the flu mist.  I called his doctor and got an appointment for him first thing in the morning for the flu vaccine.

“I want to cuddle with you mommy.”

keep this kid healthy

must keep this cutie healthy

” Baby, I want to cuddle with you too, but until you get your vaccine you need to stay away from mommy. Here, you can play with my Ipad. Wash your hands a lot”

I’m still a bit sloggy, aching, stupid in the head.  But, Tami Flu arrested the symptoms considerably.  I don’t care that even with insurance it cost $70.  It’s worth it.  Thank you modern medicine.

Now, if you haven’t already get your flu shot!

Cover up your kids, dang it.

All summer it boggles my mind.  Little girls in bikini’s and one pieces.

lordy, the kids a red head! She should be in a tent

I’m rolling up my big boy pants and wading into JUDGE LAKE.  I don’t get  the recklessness I see in the sunny months.  Why am I often the only parent putting my kids in rash guard style swimwear?

In my lifetime we went from a country that worshipped the sun, let people smoke on planes, made it illegal to have kids sit in the front seat.  Let alone on the arm rest like I use to, next to my groovy Ali McGraw looking mom in the 1970’s with her deep brown tan.  YET, there is a great disconnect when I see kids at the beach and poolside.  Their swimsuits make me look to see a dangling cigarette in the hands of their moms, to hear if people are calling grown black men, “boy”.   The world changed, became more aware of cultural flaws and safety issues, subsequently we buckle our kids in a special seat in the back of the car, advanced civil rights, but knowing the dangers of the sun 99% of parents I see dress their little daughters like this when near a body of water.

I don’t get it

NOT to mention the odd sexualization of childhood these suits represent.  I’ve long been bothered by little girls dressed as if they have developed bodies.  Just looking at this from a health issue, parents are exposing their children to the sun at the worst times to do so.  Sun exposure when we are under 25 is the most dangerous for our skin.  Later, our goose is kind of cooked.  A burn in childhood follows you for life.  I had been stewing about this issue of unprotected kids in the sun and today an OP ED piece propelled me to write about it. It’s about the dangers of tanning bed by a doctor who had a scare.

Not Cute

The doctor advocates for warnings on tanning beds.   where is the warning on little kids swimsuits?

The other day at a party for a friend of Rex’s a blonde boy was running around playing shirtless.  I said something to his father and the father said something along the lines “It’s okay, he was by a lake last week.”  I was confused.  I think he was using that old myth about if you have a base tan you are protected.  The little boy was obviously getting red.

from CDC

When Vivien was a baby we were given a baby bikini.  Barf.  We couldn’t throw that out of the house fast enough.  We know we have a dirty planet.  As Woody Allen said in “Annie Hall”, “Everything our parents said was good for us is bad, the sun, milk, college.” We know melanoma is on the rise,  PARENTS WHY DON’T YOU PROTECT YOUR KIDS IN THE SUN.   I hear, “I slathered on the sunscreen.”  Yes, that’s good, but c’mon it’s not as good as having material covering the body.  I put on sunscreen on the exposed legs of my kids and they still get tan. They jump in the water, run around.  DO you really keep reapplying every 30 minutes?  I doubt it.  Plus my son is wiggly and it’s hard to get as much on him as I would like.  I have a long sleeved shirt for Rex sometimes, but I’ve been getting push back from Vivien for my Victorian ways because all of her friends are dressed like Kiddie Sports Illustrated. I’m firm.  Sun is up, rash guard swimwear is on. She’s lucky I don’t throw her in a burka.

what my kids wear

 

It’s fun to have your kids in cute clothes.  That’s what dresses, and little ties and vests are for.  Cover up your kids in the sun, humor me.

 

 

 

 

There better be WMD’s if you are calling me at 4am

Remember during the ’08 elections, the primaries when Hillary and Obama were going at Hillary had that commerical about who would do best when the phone rang at 3am?  Now, they were thinking about a national security issue.  “Russia has invaded Puerto Rico.”(see spoof here)

Then and now I think Hillary could do a good job in the middle of the night so I was wondering if she could answer my phone when it rings at 4am, as it did last night. It also rang at 4:16am, 4:31am, 4:40am, 4:52. It’s scary to be woken up in the middle of the night. Rather it should be, but I wasn’t rattled, I was just tired and pissed.  See, I knew there wasn’t crisis.

Cousin Floyd” was agitated.  New parents know the sleep deprivation of a newborn. But, grown up people can be more exhausting.  THERE IS NOTHING CUTE ABOUT THEM.  I don’t can’t have another Black Smoke day, but I’m exhausted.  When Rex kept me up with his stomach bug we did spend parts of the day cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons.  Now, I think I need to sleep and or find a support group.

But, most urgently, How do you block a number from calling your phone?  Would Hillary know? Do you?  Because I can’t function like this and my kids can’t either.  Vivien was so upset at being woken up and I don’t blame here.  It’s hard to have compassion at 4am, and 4:16, 4:31, 4:40…

Then the texting started.  That’s easier to turn off.

New Moms, win stuff

 

 

"I'm just chillin in my mommy, oh yeah."

Chatted with a pediatrician the other day. Not our own, but Dr. Bhargava …..  She is the spokesperson for Web MD’s new pregnancy app. Which is available for free.

It was well timed as Rex was home sick. He had been throwing up for a couple of days, but no fever.  So, my first question was,  no point in calling a doctor, right?  Basically, the answer was yes, just keep him hydrated.  I told her I was having a “Black Smoke” day, NOTHING was getting done.  I was wiped out.  Then I moved beyond my immediate life

TIRED MOM BLOGGER: As a pediatrician you want to take care of kids, but you end up having to  treat the parents in a sense.  Is that a drag?

Dr Bhargava: No, they are key stake holders.  They have to be comfortable with the information they get.

ME: ( still digging for the parent dig) Is that difficult, because you wanted to help children and now you have to deal with these adults?

THE PERSON WITH WAY MORE EDUCATION THAN I:  I like talking to parents.  It’s team work.  I’m one of the team members. It’s a priviledge.

ME GETTING TO THE SELLING POINT: Now you have this app, which I would have loved when I was pregnant because I was going online all the time to check the size of the baby and check my experience as compared to other women.   It does feel like there are so many more things available to a pregnant woman, than just 4 years ago. Is pregnancy more popular right now, or what? Is there a hunger for information or to curate that information?

DR:  There is a hunger for information on a variety of health issues.  There is a lot of information coming at people and you have to be careful who you are getting it from.  You want it based on facts.  This is a great way to get this.  WEB MD updates there information regularly.

ME WHILE DRINKING MORE COFFEE: What’s one of the big missing component that pregnant women aren’t getting?

DR: ( she didn’t think anything was missing) One thing this helps with is to remember what to ask your doctor during your visits.  It also helps keep your memories of the pregnancy.  What was your craving, things like that.

WOMEN WHO STUDIED IMPROV: Since you are a working mom, what did you do on days you had to go in a practice medicine when you had been up with your child?  When you were having a black smoke day?

WOMEN WHO STUDIED MEDICINE: (laughed) I love the black smoke days.  I’m going to borrow that from you.  I’ve had so many of those.  I thought when my kids were over 3 I was over those sleepless nights, but as they get older you are up for different reasons.  Look, moms need to take care of themselves.  They are the center of households and they need to take the time to destress.

So that was the interview, no here is the giveaway!!  If you are a new parent, or know one.  Leave your name and I will randomly pick a name on Friday to get this new app and other great things to have when you have a baby.

1.     Swaddling blankets:  SwaddleDesign Ultimate Receiving Blanket

2.     Digital thermometer:  Vick’s Baby Rectal Thermometer

3.     Towel & Washcloth:  Aden & Anais La Mer Towel & Washcloth

4.     WebMD magazine most recent issue

5.     Other collateral from WebMD on pregnancy (Note: I don’t know what collateral they plan to send, hopefully not collateral damage)

Leave your name and if you win that’s a white smoke day!