Ah, the joys of home ownership. Just when we felt like we were getting ahead. Paying the bills and I was starting to fantastize about a trip this summer our water heaters were about to burst. Along with some other ancillary issues that wiped out that nest egg!
Maybe renting and sticking some landlord with these upkeep bills is worth the industrial carpet and lack of freedom to paint a wall.
Mark and I could lament this money pit called home ownership, or we could adjust our thinking… If my friends could see me now!!!
So, I’m trying to lose my grief weight and it’s not easy when the deeper I get into my 40’s my metabolism seems to slow at a logarithmic rate. Give up wine.. no. Give up white sugar, mostly I can do that, fine. Exercise, fine, helps stop the voices in my head. So, I needed another restriction. I chose no white flour. No pasta, pizza, that’s tough. But, I’m really missing it in the morning. Bread products are the only things that settle my tummy in the morning and they are quick.
I can have very vivid romantic dreams. It’s the safe way to cheat when you are married. Well, two night ago I had a very explicit dream…about a buttered bagel. It was warm, shiny, I couldn’t wait to eat it. I woke up and it was like I had been with Idris Elba or Scott Foley. Oh, I just want to get thin enough to eat it for real!
Hot and Brit
way hotter than that dopey president
My body might be getting adjusted to it’s new simple carb deprived body. I had a fantastic dream with George Clooney. We were in that new dating, flirting mode that I can distantly recall. I ran my hand up under his shirt. He was smiling. It was on. Next thing I knew I was trying hang gliding and Mark was telling me to get up. “it’s 7:30!” My alarm went off at 6:50.
“Leave me alone” I wanted to savior the last few minutes I squeeze out of my dream brain.
In the kitchen I sleepily made some unsweetened oatmeal. Thinking of the man of my dreams and the bread product of my dreams.
he was dressed more casually for me last night..but he didn’t have a bagel
I’m about to hit the road for a few days, so let me give you this vintage nugget. It’s only a couple years old, but with netlfix, ipads, it seems quite retro. When Rex was smaller he made it so I couldn’t watch the shows I want to watch when my kids go to sleep.
He is so cute here, yet so diabolical! Happy long weekend
You ever go into a drawer, a box, your sister’s closet and find an article of clothing you forgot you had? Well, sometimes I forget about videos I’ve made. I’ve done over 500. Here is one I tripped over and it was never tagged, promoted, etc so it only has 56 views. That’s probably just from my mom.
In it I do part of bit I did when I was doing stand up when I was pregnant with Vivien. A big belly is a great sight gag. Here I’m pregnant with Rex. You can hear that baby pressing on my lungs. I’m gasping like Dom Deluise. What I can’t figure out is why me and my camera man lined up the shot the way we did..right next to the pile of junk on my desk. Oh, now I remember I knew I was going to be out of commission soon with Rex coming and we shot 20 videos in one day!
Anyway… here is one of the best things a doctor could tell a woman:
I’ve been seeing a lot of people sticking their neck out on social media to say, “enough Anti Vaccinaters” in light of the recent measle outbreaks. I hadn’t rushed to the barricades for this round of the vaccination controversy, however we do have a story to tell. Most of it is in this video I did when I was pregnant with Rex.
Years later a producer for a PSA to raise awareness about the rise of whooping cough contacted me. She had heard my story and wondered if we would share it in the PSA. I said, yes, however they didn’t pick us. What chilled me was she said of all the families she had spoken to we were the ONLY ones who had had a newborn in a house with Whooping Cough where the baby did NOT die.
I’m a very lucky/blessed/happy person that this wonderful little girl is still with me.
Remember 12 year olds need a booster shot for whooping cough. I do not think parents should get an exemption for vaccination and imperil the rest of us. I never believe in hiding behind religion for bad decisions that run counter to the prevailing norms of the day. It’s no excuse to shroud woman and make then second class citizens. It’s no excuse to mutilate a newborn boys’s penis. It’s no excuse not to use modern medicine to protect us. As my friend and mentor Dr. Dean Edell once said to me when I was in a pique of hippy talk, “Mother nature doesn’t care if you live, mother nature wants us to die.”. We need to trip up her plans if possible.
Here is Daphne Dishes, without the production value. No lighting, no make up and clothes.. I have a cold. I did this a while ago, but thought it would really fit with my Food Network show running.
One of the yards I take from belongs to the best couple of people you could ever hope to live next door too. They were at Mark’s pop up last night. They leave the side gate open so the kids can play in their yard if they like. They are the borrow sugar kind of folk. Although, I think it’s usually been olive oil. Plus, they let me raid their citrus tree. I think the hip name is “forage”.
This video is one of my favorites. When I was on Hallmark’s “Home and Family” recently this was one of the videos I sent to them to show. The producers loved it, except I use the word “Vagina” in it. But, on the innerweb we don’t have to worry about questionable vulgarity like they do on basic cable. So, for those who have never seen it, Enjoy!. Revisiting, enjoy again and remember when Rex still had his curls!
Through blogging I’ve met some very cool woman. One of my faves is Shannon Colleary. She is funny and writes a lot about how women’s body images and how our sense of self changes through the years. We feel worse about ourselves when we are young and thin, and finally get some self acceptance when we have parts of our body start to jiggle . And not in a cute way. A crude summing up, but you know. Well, Shannon’s writings frequently get picked up by Huffington Post and on one such occasion she included a video of mine. It went viral and I said, who is this smart, funny woman who thinks I’m a funny, smart woman? We had lunch and a friendship bloomed. I asked if she would make a guest appearance in one of my videos. She agreed and I came up with the idea of Stunt Mom. The woman who appears who can do the work you don’t want to do. It was all improvised and Shannon was spot on perfect.
Am I a young woman’s worst nightmare, or future buddy? If I raise Rex to be good to the woman in his life I’m gold, if he has all kind of f–ed up mother issues some chick will be trashing me which she goes to lunch with her girlfriends. By they way, if it’s a future boyfriend, that’s fine too.
Do mothers shape the boyfriends of tomorrow? Am I messing him up? Do I care?
I love performing live.. so rarely get to do so. If at the end I get to eat my dark chocolate sauce with berries with a weatherman, all the better! Watch
HERE to see my appearance today on KCAL 9. Thanks to Josh Rubenstein for being such a nice host. We ran out of time before I got to show my desert. But, inhaled afterward. So much for looking like Giada.