Category Archives: All Videos

No tears meatloaf

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A couple of days ago I mentioned how well my meatloaf when over in my house so I thought I would share it with you. Since if the lack of it drove my daughter to tears I’m must be doing something right.  Maybe as a cook, but not as mother.

Needed:

one pound pork sausage ( or you can get ground pork and add garlic, salt and fennel)

One pound ground beef ( The fatter the better.  A store near here has 27% fat ground beef, perfect)

One egg

Splash of water

salt, pepper

1/2 onion, chopped

1 big or two small cloves of garlic, chopped

One carrot, diced.

1 tablespoon of butter

1/3 of breadcrumbs ( I use store bought.  Homemade are great, but I’m not that ambitious)

1/3 cup of ketchup

I always mean to have worcester sauce in this, but haven’t yet and it’s worked out well, so maybe I’ll let go of that dream.

Here is how it all comes together, the food and the family.

 

I’m popular where?

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So, I was trolling my stats on my YouTube channel.  They are interesting, but usually a chuckle as they differ from the stats from my site.  Here I have largely female viewers.  The most popular videos are those dealing with parenting issues.  But, on YouTube over 60% of my viewers are men.  My number video, has been for two years, “Sliding nursing pads.”  Just the suggestion of titty gets them to click. Or maybe they are fans of “Dancing with the Stars.”

I also know that most of the people who come to this site, and my YouTube channel are living in the USA.  Makes sense. But, what I didn’t know is the country which gets the silver medal for viewing coolmom vids is…PAKISTAN.  Not by a little, almost the exact same amount as the USA.  What?   Here is the ranking.

 

1.
 United States
%
2.
 Pakistan
%
3.
 India
%
4.
 United Arab Emirates
%
5.
 Saudi Arabia
%
6.
 Indonesia
%
7.
 Turkey
%
8.
 Qatar
%
9.
 United Kingdom 10. Thailand

those last countries suffered something in the copy and paste journey.  Pakistan is only 700 views behind the States.  Countries 2, 4 thru 7 are Muslim countries.  Is Cool Mom illicit for some men? Who am I kidding!  If it was I’d have many more subscribers. Maybe  In more restrictive societies is it fun to see my stained shirt.  Hey, maybe it’s nothing perverse, maybe it’s what’s great about the internet that there are common threads to all our lives that we can relate to no matter who we are, what language we speak or what terrorist is hiding in our suburbs. Hmm, further study shows that of my “fans” in Pakistan 90.9% of them are male aged 25 to 54. Maybe it is the milk stain.

You know the only country out of these ten where more women watch my vids than men?  Thailand.  I think of myself as kind of Erma Bombeckish so it seems strange, or maybe it’s that You Tube has all these gamer guys and at some point they click around and listen to me tell jokes about being a room parent.  I was worried when I posted that vid, not because of my cleavage, but because I looked like I was holding Rex like he was a wet rag.

Maybe I should try to get a TV hosting job in Pakistan.

 

Banana and child

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This is a great collaboration. I was trolling Fiverr ( the site where people post what they will do for five dollars) Jessica Gottlieb had told me about it and I was looking for something practical like getting a video captioned when suddenly my eyes fell on one posting, ” I will make a 50 word movie for you in Bananish”.

So my food group.

I quickly penned a short rendering of what it’s like between me and Rex when he has a poopy diaper. It takes more than 50 words to get Rex to change his diaper sometime, so I shortened it. I couldn’t even stop to count the words I was so excited to have my own custom made banana movie. The artist who did the film is called “neatpuff”. Just in case you too would like your own custom banana film.
My question is: who wouldn’t?

The Mother shoe has landed

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This video was done MONTHS ago.  My dear friend Michelle shot it and then had to move, and well, you know what happens when you move. Mayhem.

It was inspired by a call from The Walking Company.  ”Would you like to try a pair of our shoes? We have a Dansko Pro XP that are exclusive to us that have generated quite a bit of buzz ”  You mean the shoes that back when I was single I wouldn’t be caught dead in?  The shoes that my husband the professional chef wore for years because he works on his feet all day?  HAND THEM OVER!   Provident because my infamous red clogs had gone missing.

Watch the vid, enjoy, it’s fun.  And let me say.  The Danskos are now an integral part of my life.  Comfy, give me a little height, perfect for mom on the go!

NOTE:  the only think I don’t like about this vlog is my slatternly appearance.  Michelle is such a nice person she doesn’t see when I look like a train wreck.

A post breast feeding song

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So, this seems like a great comedic coda to the Time Magazine boob-ha-ha.  These gals, Comediva,  are totally my food group.  I just can’t play a guitar or sing that well, as evidenced by my Butt Problem anthem.  They did a funny video with song about what breast feeding has done to their body.  Enjoy!  ( click here for song)

Happy Mothers day.

 

My butt problem

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Agony plus times equals comedy?  Yeah, well I jumped the time part.  This has been going on for me for a few days.  First I only told my husband, then my kids had to know.  ”Why is mommy going to bed before us with bourbon and a hot compress?”

Now, I’m telling the world. While I filmed this the pain was still great.  But, like other hardships in my life, losing all our money, stuff like that, all I can do is find the humor ( that and crawl into the fetal position in my closet and cry).

The whole point is I’m not alone, right?  We are the world that can help each other

update: Yes, I know you have been very concerned with my butt.  So after I shot this video went to a dermatologist and had to lie on my tummy while he examined my butt cheek. As painfully embarrassing as this was it was made easier by the doctor who said, “I have had this” ( he begged me not to use his real name).  It was not a zit, but a cyst.  Infected. Gnarly.  Shots, cutting, another shot and I have to go back for more butt cheek treatment in a couple of days. The nurse who bandaged me up said, “I had this a couple of months ago.” What?  Never knew these butt cheek cysts were so rampant.  According to Dr. “Smith” they are common because it’s “a dirty place”.  I usually hover over toilets when I’m in public, but I think I will try to hover at home as well.

But, the message of ballad is even more important.  Had I not gotten over my embarrassment and sought medical treatment the doctor said I could have end up in the ER.

Hop on mom

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Do I stay up at night watching my own videos?  Yes, yes sometimes I do.  Usually to see my kids and marvel at how little they once where.  Look at Rex with his little blonde curls!  In this video I showed how some days I was hi pony mom.

 

While tough on the knees, it wasn’t so bad.  He was pretty tiny so his weight was easy.  Then he would scamper off of me, give me a carrot and go watch Calliou But, lately his fiscal demands have gotten more intense . No matter where I am, I may be pounced upon any time.  The word “No” doesn’t carry much weight.  My daughter never head butted my pubic bone, but T- Rex ( the T is for Tiger) is different.

Should I carry mace?