is cheese like heroin?

This weekend I’m in another Food: Fact or Fiction on Cooking Channel.   Here is a clip where I tackle the issue of why we love cheese.  ( why would we not?)  In this clip  host Michael Mckean actually says my name!   Been a fan for years.. if only we had been in the same room..and got to be funny together.  That would be an 11.

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cobb salad fun

Ever wondered where a Cobb Salad came from?  Well, check me out of Cooking Channel’s Food: Fact or Fiction and find out.  Airs this weekend.  (Jan 14th 7pm PST)

They chyron me as “Home Cook”.  Hmm, host of the previously aired Daphne Dishes too long?  I’ve taped a few of these and I enjoy doing them.  The only bummer is they are all shot in an un airconditioned loft in Downtown LA.  We shot most of them in the warm months.  Because it is a noisy area we have to shut the hip industrial windows when we we tape and I probably had sweaty pits here.

But I digress…

What’s on Hand Pasta! ( and slow jam)

Easy dinner in a dash.

Happy New Year Humans!!

New Year’s can sometimes feel almost as compulsory as Valentines day — a crime against humanity– but this year was ok.  An impromptu party at my sister-in-law’s pretty condo with her exuberant husband, one of my sisters and awesome husband (Kevin Tent who edited Downsizing and directed the hilarious Crash Pad) a couple good girlfriends, one with a date  ( btw they did not follow the dictum that couples never sit next to each  other.  We gave them a hard time but they said because they were not married it was ok.  I judged in silence). Our favorite divorced bachelor (don’t even ask for his contact, his queue is longer than Space Mountain).   My nephew Charlie– 20, handsome, smart– showed up with 10 of his closest friends for a cameo.  Nice group.  I yelled at one kid for being on his phone before greeting us.  I was so proud I knew some of their names!

Damn it 2018, you better behave

I did counsel one young man who gushed that he would marry his present girlfriend.

“No, you won’t” I said.  She gave me a little look that said, “Yeah, tell him.”

“Maybe you can break up and get back together, but you are too young.  You don’t know yourself enough. Just enjoy the moment.”

In ten minutes I tried to impart much of what I have learned about being in relationships.

“Everyone is responsible for their own orgasms.  Woman cannot just lie there and wait for fairy dust.  They need to learn about themselves, know what they want and be vocal. Men do not know what is in our minds or how our bodies work… believe me!”  I think this is when my nephew’s mother (aka my sister) almost spilled her dry martini as she wedged herself between me and the besotted youth.  What’s the matter?  They are 20.

I digress.  We had a caterer because after the last 6 weeks I’d cooked more times than Mario Batali has shoved his junk on women in his restaurants.  ( was that my outside voice?)

IF a woman looked liked that she would be arrested and certainly not be given national TV shows to host.

So, here is a regular night dinner.  No fireworks or sex ed, or unwelcome attention  Just mid week, kids avoiding homework and I’m making dinner.  I want to go to the grocery store like I want to be close to Mario Batali  (oh, the humanity) so I’m a big fan of grabbing what’s on hand and making it happen.  With food, not fatty’s junk.

I hope you enjoy the little vid.

Happy Birthday to me

Gang,  This is the longest I’ve gone since a post.  It’s tough when you are in a mid life crisis, raising kids, family obligations, working, looking for more work, mourning your Food Network show, exercising, doing community work and resisting the worst President I’ve ever known.

It remind me of one of the my favorite signs from the women’s march. “ugh, Where Do I Start?”

I’m going to try and post something funny soon.  Right now I’ve been binge watching old videos from when my kids were super tiny.  They are now 8 and 11 and I’m already nostalgic for their younger selves.  So, I’ll leave you with one that has been on a loop here lately.  It’s something I made for Mark’s professional FB page years ago.  It’s so cute!!

Oh, and March 22nd is my birthday.  Thanks for being here!

Sum recipes, sum changes

I keep thinking, well I USED to be on Food Network.  but, guess I’m still on cause my episode Sum Sum Summertime is on tomorrow.  It’s got some tasty stuff on it.  Chorizo sliders, chorizo slidersfish tacos… rock it!!  All recipes HERE

 

But, since I NOT filming new shows…right now, something else is cooking.. so to speak.  Me.

If this light was always on my I wouldn't have needed an eye job.  And by "need" I mean want.

If this light was always on my I wouldn’t have needed an eye job. And by “need” I mean want.

I’m laying low.. literally I am finally getting my long awaited eye job!  I’ve been wanting one for a long time and I’m not going to that BS of disappearing for two weeks and everyone says, “did you get bangs?  What’s different?”  I’ve been saving my acorns for this for a while and it’s a big middle-aged present to myself. But, I will not be laying low for long.  Oh, no.  I’m not hiding.  Just resting.

So, I’m feeling all Brian Wilson, on my back, on pain killers while my Chef husband hand feeds me home made pasta Carbonara ( for reals).  I’m feeling like maybe I’ll get my own pet sounds out of this.  Need to shut my eyes and rest, but soon enough I’ll show it all to you Fuchsia bruises and all!

As much as I hate when skinny celebs say “yes, I eat burritos and ice cream”, I’m not going lie about this.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all fish lips, change the planes of my face, just got a little “redundant skin” that has been bugging me  on my lids and a bit of “crepe” under.  I know gravity is not going to make better.   NO cheek implants, no over arched eyebrows.  But let’s say I did go all Mickey Rourke, whose to call it?  You know what, gender reassignment, tattoos, piercing, hair extension where is the limit?  Body as art, body as self-expression?  Or maybe just as simple as mom who recently discovered her own body, her own sexual self and is tossing out the granny gowns and doing something for herself.

 

To be continued…

 

Daphne Dishes…no more

Dear everyone who has ever been nice to me.  Last week I found out that Daphne Dishes is NOT getting a 3rd season on Food Network.  I am, of course, super bummed.  The ratings were good, but the daytime programming is very competitive, tight on their schedule.  They have been very kind and say they would like to find another place for me, but it won’t be this show.

Setting up a shot

Setting up a shot

I loved working with everyone on the show.  I can’t say it was a dream come true because I never would have that that 1) Food Network would ask me to do my own show 2) it was my own show 3) I could do it from my OWN home with with my Own kids.  I’m very grateful for the opportunity.

working with my kids was the be

working with my kids was the best

I worked really hard on the recipes and tried to give it my best even though I shot most of the episodes when I was either reeling from my brother’s suicide ( season 1) or done in by C diff ( season 2).  Craig Anderson at Concentric was more than a producer, but a dear family friend.  The whole crew was.

Craig directs the kids

Craig directs the kids

David, food stylist, a sweetie and also works on Pioneer Woman's show.

David, food stylist, a sweetie and also works on Pioneer Woman’s show.

 

My first priority was making sure my kids were well taken care of and they were.  Even when I was in NYC last year and met with the heads of the network and Harriet Siew who found me ( Thanks Harriet).  Rex and Vivien were with me and they were giving them things to take and play with.  Everyone should feel so welcome with their kids in a workplace!

such pros!

such pros!

I would have loved to tell more funny stories, to make more food,

my pea soup

my pea soup

to impart more things I’ve learned as a home chef with some professional experience and influence, and a very supportive chef husband!

Thank you for watching.

 

Aint’ nobody here but us chickens!

by @nylaportraits

by @nylaportraits

 

We have taken the leap!  We are urban chicken farmers.  We have been talking for years about getting chickens. We have a big yard.  Mark has had them before.  He knew what not to do: have a rooster that makes your neighbors mad.

One day our friend Larry the landscaper texted Mark that a family was selling their chickens, coop and all.  An orthodox Jewish family who were moving to Vegas for a lower cost of living.  No use taking the chickens to Nevada when they already have the Chicken Ranch!

Mark came home with 6 chickens which the kids promptly named.  I heard “Steve” and “Dutchess” and then lost track.  Our two story chicken coop is easy to move around the yard so no one part of the yard gets all the fertilizer!

Cody in a friendly mood

Cody in a friendly mood by @nylaportraits

Upside: Eggs!  About 5 eggs a day.  Which challenges Mark and I to keep working on more egg dishes.  Frittatas, quiche and last night a souffle!  (should I get my cholesterol checked?)

if a frittata and a quiche had a baby it would look like this

if a frittata and a quiche had a baby it would look like this

 Here is a recipe for ham and egg fried rice from my Food Network show Daphne Dishes.  Which by the way.. is repeating every Saturday at 8am.  And no, no word on a pick up so I think that’s no, but dunno 🙁

We have gone to some of our neighbors and gifted them with our fresh eggs.

Hey neighbors, want some eggs?

Hey neighbors, want some eggs?

Our chickens are free range and are on a vegetarian diet so they live better than me.  Well except for sleeping on their excrement.

It’s also been a good lesson in responsibility for my kids.  They have cottoned to the chores associated with the chickens more than they ever did with Cody.  Let them out in the morning, check their water and feed.  Put them in the coop and lock the door so the raccoons don’t get em.

Speaking of Cody.  He is sometimes fascinated by the hens.  But, other times his primal side comes out and he starts chasing them.  He never hurts them, but scares the chickens and causes them to squawk and jump on the fences.  Then we take him up to the house or put him on a leash.

So, if you are in the area, come and get some eggs!

 

The Bacon effect

First kids can’t run around a car while it’s in motion.  Then a lover can’t greet you when you get right of the plane, now they are taking bacon.  I’m of course referring to the latest report from World Health Organizations (kill joys) that processed meat specifically, and meat in general are a tiny notch above asbestos for causing cancer.  I just enjoyed the heck out of hot dog on the 10th hole the other day at a golf tourney.. who knew it would be my last!

I can’t take it.  Even though I had no make up only my phone I felt compelled to record this moment

Oh and ham!  What next sex?

volunteering at school lunch

So, When Viv was first in Kindergarten I volunteered, but as this video shows it didn’t quite go as I had planned.  I tired a few more times, but it always seemed to be school lunch time just as Rex fell asleep so I’d be looking for parking right outside of the school when he would nod off.  I test the mom in charge, “Sorry, can’t do it, Rex asleep.”  An unreliable volunteer, what are the chances?

So, last year when Rex started Kindergarten I started again.  Daphne Dishes.. up food.  There is a lot of running back and forth so I always get a lot of steps for the day.  I learn a lot, not so much about my kids, but which kid is going to flip out if I make him/her take the required veggie/ fruit.  How anyone below 3rd grade can’t be asked a complex question like, “with cheese, or without?”  Sometimes I’m standing there in my hair net thinking, you know, I host a Food Network show?  But, no one cares.  They just want another glass of milk.

The sweep up at the end of the shift is the worse.  Mashed food on the ground.  invariably piled high in the trash cans big chunks of the fruit and veggies we made the kids take (federal law).