This is kind of a vlog version of my “In Appreciation Of Non-Mom Friends”
Don’t get all Jamie Lynn Spears on me single ladies and overly glamorize motherhood. Do those cute celeb moms talk about how it’s about 2 years before you can take a crap in private? No. It’s not for everyone and I’ll tell you why.
I can really get in a lather over people who complain about babies on airplanes. It’s a public place. Air travel is NOT a luxury these days. I am far more disturbed by the loudmouth who is YELLING their conversation into the phone before take off (there are no secrets we are just pretending not to hear you), or the loud talkers seated the row behind.
Also, no one feels worse about a crying baby than the parents who are trying, and trying everything to calm it down.
Years ago I was in a geology lecture in college, there was a woman with a baby in the class, and God love her for going on with her education while being a mom of a young one. She didn’t have any help caring for the child and I often saw her with a notebook and baby in hand. One day the baby was fussing, I noticed it, we all did, but we kept on with the lecture. It was a bit distracting finally she chose to get up with her child and walked out of the lecture hall. The professor, who was the sweetest guy, stopped his lecture and said to the class, “did she leave? Oh no, please someone go and get her. She needs to be in class, the baby wasn’t bothering me, was it bothering any of you? (No one was going to raise there hand to that),” “we were all babies once.”
That is the truth.
Okay, now I have to come up with a prize! But I will do it, if you all can help me out with my dreaded household task.
I don’t want to say there is no spanky fun going on here, but if anyone post child is still hitting it like they did pre child, please tell me your secret. What I really like now is hotel sex.
I need the psychological break from the surroundings where I am a MOM. Even a cheap motel can do the trick for feeling all good and slutty within the context of a committed relationship.
Hey, we are bombarded with it, right? Sometimes you have to succumb. I know few people who have never ordered something off TV or QVC. As a kid, I ordered the Liberace Big Note Song Book and learned to play “Deck the Halls.”
I do try to shield Vivien from it on TV and radio, picking channels that have very little and muting it when ads come on. Even though she says, “What happened, Mommy?”
Well, here is how I haven’t shielded myself, and the funny thing? I still haven’t eaten one Klondike bar.
Okay, I’m outing myself again as a mean, uncaring mom. Here I talk about how I keep very little of Vivien’s artwork. Maybe it’s a reaction to my recent move and seeing how much of my own junk I have been carting from home, to college apartment, to countless apartments, and finally a house. Well, I did chuck a bunch out in this last move, but I know not NEAR enough.
It’s one of those things that no one tells you about motherhood…you might never shower again. They give you the soft blankets, the speech about how your heart will open, but nothing about how hard it is to shave your legs.
One of the reasons I married in my mid-thirties was that I spent my earlier years having a really good time. I had many boyfriends, lovers, whatever you call them. Even when I was a chubby gal, I had plenty of action because I was fun. Nothing like becoming a mom to make you the airbrakes of good time.