a pee too far

here is a TBT.  I was super pregnant with Rex.  There are always some issues that bother us more than others… for me.. a wet towel on a rug  (grr), kid who want go to sleep when you are beat (everyone)  and then the good old pee on a brand new couch.  It does remind me why I still get this couch steam cleaned every three months..

what if you have the “bad” kid

 

As a parent who volunteers more at her kid’s school than people who draw a salary I get to see all sides to a school.  So often parents find the fault with a school and lay it a teacher or principal or a child that is not theirs knee.  When maybe, it is their kid.

I heard a mom a while back talking about how some teacher wasn’t stimulating to her little genius.  Then I was volunteering and saw this kid and thought I would need a lasso and a muzzle to deal with him.  ( Hence, I didn’t go into teaching).

As it was one day when I thought my little precious, angel might have the makings of serial killer

abused driver

I’m so glad I have been doing this blog since early ’08 or else I would remember NOTHING.  It keeps me honest.  The other day I was really unfair to my son.  He was pelting me with sticks, kicking my seat, shoes were flying into the front seat and I said,

“Vivien never did this!” My daughter smug, “yeah, Rex it’s dangerous to throw things at mommy while she is driving.”

Well, we were wrong. She did do it.  Here is the proof.  Why don’t I remember that?  Why do I think her behavior as a nine year old is how she was at 3?  Am I sexist against boys? Biased towards my daughter?  Am I just brain dead?

TV Time with Daph and Viv

Nothing like bonding with your kids over TV shows, right? Well today it’s one of my basic cable faves.. even if I think the producers need a make over. That’s right House Hunters International. Also, they always talk about all the entertaining they are going to do. Who you having over? You don’t know anyone in this new place? Except for that chubby friend the producers made you drag along.

Questions I can’t answer

Or, how being a mom makes me feel like a dumb ass.  Am I smarter than a 5th grader?  I wish.  I felt like such a big cheese when I was taking small rubber objects out of their mouths so they didn’t choke.  Keeping their hands from open flames.  But, now that they talk, go to school and haven’t done drugs their little minds are challenging my major domo position.

good moms don’t have clean cars

This vintage coolmom was the tip of the ice berg.  (Look at little Vivien!  Where is that cute day dress I’m wearing?  Oh, yeah it got stained and I had to throw it away and the makers of the dress went under during the recession, now I remember).

Now, with two kids and permissive snack schedule my car cannot even be detailed.  What gets me is when the kids complain about it being messy!  Um, I let you eat food in here, of course it’s dirty!. Plus, muddy shoes, lost wrappers, etc.  There is so much spilled milk in that car that a friend of Vivien has strong food allergies had to pull out her inhaler after I picked her up for a playdate.  That’s bad.  I’m making a child sick with my messy car.

It use to be glorious.  in ’06 it was a brand new Lexus.  I still love the way it drives and it’s PAID for so I’m driving it till it can’t drive no more.  Recently, Lexus wrote me saying it would give a great deal on a new Lexus if I traded this one in.  Huh, they don’t know what they are asking for back!  Do they have an ice scraper to get the baked on crud off the back seat? Do spilled drinks in the cup holders mixed with sun screen ever come back out?  Why would I take on a car payment for a car that will remain a cheerio wagon for years to come.

Now, I get why as soon as I left for college my mom had a new set of living room furniture delivered.  Oy, don’t get me going on my couch…..one day I’ll torch it.

That’s a big turd, little one

In honor of the Republican Congress I thought I’d show you my favorite vlog about a turd.  Cause those pin heads sure have made a mess!  Those poor foreign tourists waiting to get into Yellowstone. How do they gate that whole place off?

I can’t make a brand new video until the federal printing machine is back on.  No, this is not a government-funded blog, it’s solidarity.  (Maybe I could get funded one day…  “The blog to nowhere”  has a good ring)

I also love seeing Viven younger.  AHHH.

Interviewed by my daughter

If the Washington Post is still around when Vivien is an adult they should take note, the kids a born interviewer.   I only asked her, “would you interview me?”  Figuring that whatever she asked me would be cute/funny, i.e “mommy, where do unicorns sleep at night?”  “What’s your favorite color?”  But, no, the kid went straight for the jugular.

That a girl!

Summer planning with a rising 3rd grader… harder than it should be…

I love summer!  I love not racing to school.  I love not saying “have you done your homework”, not packing lunch every day and dodging the dog pooh that lines the walkway near my daughter’s school.

I love getting to see my kids more.  Vivien consented to sit for a brief interview.  It’s been a while.  In journalism we’d call this a “get”.  The one hitch is that Rex insisted on helping with production.  Oh, help he did