stealth vlogger: homework

As my kids get older I’m less comfortable with blogging about them directly.  Vivien is savvy enough to say to me now when I take a picture “Don’t post that”.  Poor kid.

So, it’s been harder to figure out how to pivot coolmom to still be relevant to parents.  This tussle has lead me to not post at all sometimes.  So, thanks to the 4 of you for bearing with me as I figured this out.

One thing that has been getting to me recently is HOMEWORK.  I hate homework.  I come home with the kids btw 3:45 and 4:15 and it’s the time of the day I’m my MOST exhausted and I hae to say, “no screen time till you do your homework”  The wrestling begins.

But, I’m an alternative school kid and I don’t even believe in homework most of the time.  My kids need to chill and isn’t better if I let them just start to play creatively?  One day I did and they turned my driveway into a delightful homeless encampment.

sort a Gilligan island

sort a Gilligan island

 

They took empties out of the recycling to make a it look like a home.  Clearly they used the palms for a tropical thing.  But, most days are more like the following video.

So, here is a quick one I did recently.  Because if I do something as a mom and don’t blog about it, did it really happen?

Hence why so many moms are winos.

 

 

 

how to take a good picture

So, as often happens with mom bloggers I’m not sure where I’m going with this.  I don’t have the back up right now to do videos and it’s a crowded market now that is much harder to monetize.  I also think my kids need more privacy as they get older.  So, for now I think what I can offer is how to take a good picture.

Well, today at least… I liked this vid.  More later.

holiday body- return of Muffinlicious

Okay, I’m not at prime muffin top right now since I lost weight being sick, but in general this is not the time of year where we feel svelte.  Drinking, sweets, roast meats, plus when it’s colder our bodies are covered up and layered.  Only that lucky dude who we picked up for the cold months or a husband gets to see any flesh. ( in fact, got dolled up recently and felt great being a tad thinner)

Daphne Dressed up

Daphne Dressed up

Make sure it looks nice, like this picture my friend took in Joshua Tree.  In the winter the stubble can grow fast.. legs, underarm, chin.vagina rock

Anyway, I got a ‘fan’ message recently saying that they loved my muffin top.  A newish friend thought that was an odd compliment.  That’s when I realized she hadn’t seen my one bona fide viral video and didn’t know that we need to embrace our muffin top!  Something to grab and hold.  So, encore!   Happy Holidays

 

how to talk to your twenty something

Ha, I have no idea.  Today my step son Oliver is 22!.   Good for him, but that means I”VE AGED TOO.  Kids are cruel.   He is a wonderful young man who has been very patient with my loud, outgoing ways, which are not his.  A few years ago he even played  along with me on a video, “How to talk to your teenager”.  An experience that was probably close to running through bees while dripping with honey.  But, performance is like restaurant work in this family.. it’s hard not to be brought in ( or brought down.

So happy birthday to the first person who made me a “mom like” person.  I love you Oliver.

 

Daphne Dished raw

Okay, this ain’t pretty, but it’s what’s happening.  A little vlog on my life with pneumonia.  I know I’m not the only one suffering with this now, so maybe it can put a smile on someone elses’ face who has a pale, ugly face right now like moi.

Thanks to those who have been asking if Daphne Dishes is coming back for a third season.  I sure wish it would I day dream recipes ( unable to cook right now).  I have heard it’s going to be repeated in Jan.  So maybe that’s a good sign?  My recipes are still at www.foodnetwork.com/daphnedishes

I hope you are well and healthy and I hope to return to being funny and cooking and LOOKING BETTER.. oh and feeling better.

I am SO humbled by the help friends and family have given me and my kids the last few weeks.  We are all in this together.

New-mon-ya

So, this site has been in bed for the last couple of weeks along with me and now I know why.  I have Pneumonia.   Skipped Thanksgiving.  Been challenging.

I’m sure all kind of wit and wisdom will come from weeks of bed rest and tripping on steroid drugs, but until then.. wash your hands.  Check out my friend Shannon’s blog about your brave trip to assist Syrian refugees in Greece  ( spoiler alert Greek helpers and Syrians all seem to be gorgeous.) Shannon is very funny and once guested as my “Stunt Mom”.

Clearly she is a tough cookie, but her writing is informative without being pedantic.

Since I’m in bed and sleeping or watching screens Any suggestions of favorite binge shows?  I’m up to date on Empire ( storylines starting to go south), Indian Summer on Masterpiece Theate, everyone is depressed, but I just want to see the young Indian lead get naked.  Jane the Virgin, good, not as stellar as first season. Watched River on netflix. good, dark.  Grandfathered, loved, funny dead pan, my favorite.  Watching some John Adams, but small pox hard to watch right now.  So, please leave any shows you like… no zombies or vampires or game of thrones.  thanks.

a pee too far

here is a TBT.  I was super pregnant with Rex.  There are always some issues that bother us more than others… for me.. a wet towel on a rug  (grr), kid who want go to sleep when you are beat (everyone)  and then the good old pee on a brand new couch.  It does remind me why I still get this couch steam cleaned every three months..

The Bacon effect

First kids can’t run around a car while it’s in motion.  Then a lover can’t greet you when you get right of the plane, now they are taking bacon.  I’m of course referring to the latest report from World Health Organizations (kill joys) that processed meat specifically, and meat in general are a tiny notch above asbestos for causing cancer.  I just enjoyed the heck out of hot dog on the 10th hole the other day at a golf tourney.. who knew it would be my last!

I can’t take it.  Even though I had no make up only my phone I felt compelled to record this moment

Oh and ham!  What next sex?

what if you have the “bad” kid

 

As a parent who volunteers more at her kid’s school than people who draw a salary I get to see all sides to a school.  So often parents find the fault with a school and lay it a teacher or principal or a child that is not theirs knee.  When maybe, it is their kid.

I heard a mom a while back talking about how some teacher wasn’t stimulating to her little genius.  Then I was volunteering and saw this kid and thought I would need a lasso and a muzzle to deal with him.  ( Hence, I didn’t go into teaching).

As it was one day when I thought my little precious, angel might have the makings of serial killer