As much as we all mock the large box store or the massive shopping center, truth is we all use them. And within all of these American institutions lie a few gems.
The Most Important Photo, Ever
1
Category Archives: All Videos
Mom/Hooker Bath
It’s one of those things that no one tells you about motherhood…you might never shower again. They give you the soft blankets, the speech about how your heart will open, but nothing about how hard it is to shave your legs.
What Kills a Strip Tease For Me
One of the reasons I married in my mid-thirties was that I spent my earlier years having a really good time. I had many boyfriends, lovers, whatever you call them. Even when I was a chubby gal, I had plenty of action because I was fun. Nothing like becoming a mom to make you the airbrakes of good time.
The Opposite of Momnesia
Hey, I know something that Hillary can take on for me at 3am, my over anxious brain. Despite whatever else I need to get to, the primal “what do the kids need now?” part is buzzing. Men will do the right thing if given a minute or kindly reminded (“Of course she said she’s not hungry she’s 18 months. It’s the same for me, I may say I don’t need a chemical peel, but look at me!”), but it’s not the forepart of their brain. This must be why they can still sleep like the proverbial baby.
A very real part of the mom brain is that rest is harder to come by. After a baby, one is physically more tired, but less able to rest. Hence the addition of bags around the eyes. So, while there is such a condition of Momnesia, I say its the opposite of momnesia that has me up with the weight of the world is on my shoulders. What my sister Carole calls “life in review.” Because why not worry about everything in the world when you are least able to effect change?
My Friends Hate Me
I love the “it takes a village” idea. It’s the way to go. But, sadly my village is just too spread out for me. No wonder there are moms who get depressed or start drinking – it can be isolating. In fact when I was pregnant, my number one fear of being a mom was that I would be home at night with a tiny person who I couldn’t banter with and only the glow of a TV set to keep me warm. In a nutshell, that I would be an isolated woman. Little did I know one day I would start to embrace this.
Pink Yappy Dog
You can’t always be Florence Nightingale. Sometimes you can’t make your kid feel better. Sometimes they get upset and you go to your inner swim up bar in your mind and check out. Even if it’s for 20 seconds. One mommy friend said to me, “They will take everything they can get out of you.” And she’s right. You do need limits sometimes. This video shows why sometimes I power the mom brain down.
I Heart Stickers
This video post was inspired by the blog Pioneer Woman and my daughter’s love of stickers. When I was childless I swore I wouldn’t be one of those moms whose back right window is littered with stickers. Right now there are two.
Mommy Meltdown
It’s a strange dichotomy that the thing you want the most, a child, can also be so frustrating or depressing at times. It’s not even the kid themselves it can be what goes into it. If you don’t make an income anymore in order to be a full time mom it work on your self esteem. Or you don’t fit in your skinny jeans. Or your husband doesn’t support you emotionally the way you need.
Anyway, the mommy meltdown is a known phenom. Take a minute, breathe, let them scream and watch this.
Reading I Can’t Get To
Every mom has that pile of books and magazines that you can never seem to get around to actually reading. I just cracked two pages of the New York Times Magazine cover story from 6 weeks ago. I’m hoping if I leave it in my bathroom, I might finally finish it. I always read Star Magazine, but mostly because I am in it every week as a regular contributer to “Worst of the Week.
What reads do you leave lying around hoping you will get to? And what do you really read?
Going to the Movies
Remember when going to the movies was fun? Yeah, I barely do as well. When Vivien was a newborn I could take her, but now it’s totally not possible. And then there are the competing interests, what a 14 year old wants to see is different than what I or my elderly dad might want to see. But, one day I decided to try and please everyone and we all headed to the movies. Since my dad has difficulty walking and is eating himself toward a stroke, going to a movie is one of the few activities that make sense for him. I may never be the same.