Questions I can’t answer

Or, how being a mom makes me feel like a dumb ass.  Am I smarter than a 5th grader?  I wish.  I felt like such a big cheese when I was taking small rubber objects out of their mouths so they didn’t choke.  Keeping their hands from open flames.  But, now that they talk, go to school and haven’t done drugs their little minds are challenging my major domo position.

Movies for kids

When I don’t want my kids to watch anymore sassy, put down Disney shows I redirect them to a movie. I saw lots of films growing up that would be good for them, right? Maybe not. “Back to the Future” seems like a family film. Till you watch it and count the S bombs that get dropped. So does our youth cinema watching brain jibe with our older parent watching brain?

Is it because I was actually older when I watched the films?  Probably.  But, sensibilities can be different.  So which films that I thought would be good for kids were and which weren’t.

Which old chestnuts have you shown your kids?  Which laid an egg and which ones landed?

That’s a big turd, little one

In honor of the Republican Congress I thought I’d show you my favorite vlog about a turd.  Cause those pin heads sure have made a mess!  Those poor foreign tourists waiting to get into Yellowstone. How do they gate that whole place off?

I can’t make a brand new video until the federal printing machine is back on.  No, this is not a government-funded blog, it’s solidarity.  (Maybe I could get funded one day…  “The blog to nowhere”  has a good ring)

I also love seeing Viven younger.  AHHH.

the amazing summer get along of 2013

I’d like to take credit for the diminished rancor from my children.  But, not sure I can.  Sure, there are still dust ups, but this summer these guys are getting along better, for longer periods of time than I can remember.

Maybe school is bad for their relationship?

NO Camp Camp

Summer is here and I have my children in a different camp every week!  Well, not really. I was recently accused of “allowing my children to play unsupervised in the backyard.”  Call me guilty!  They have a childhood.

I haven’t signed them up for stuff all summer.  Why?

1) I want to spend time with them

2)  I don’t have full time job so I don’t need to

3) they need to play

4)  I don’t want to have to be somewhere every morning when I do that 9 months out fo the year

5) They need to play  I’m not the first to say this may experts do.

But, just so you can see what I’m doing to these poor kids and call Children Protective services here is a special report.

Oh, with  a nod to my rabid anti circumcision stance.

Handing your kids over to their Father!

So ironic that this episode should post today.

Last night I went to a financial seminar.  Not setting my hair on fire, but listening to an economist.  Here I was taking notes for my dear husband who was home with the kids.  It was an engaging little lecture about how the European financial issues are playing out and how they could affect us in the US ( in summary, if it were 14 years ago, a lot, but we have a lot of different trading partners, so not so much).  Also, the economist said something about the bogus term “Fiscal cliff” to which I blurted out, “I just blogged about this!”.

Anyway, since Mark is now home at night for the first time in our entire marriage I knew I had to school him about our routines.I didn’t know I had to worry about him being a man child.

Yes, this video is about when you go out of town or out ON the town and leave the kids with the old man.  But, lately I’ve gone out twice for two hours and it was LORD OF THE FLIES when I got back.

I got home..9:00pm All lights are on in the house blazing, “Ghostbusters” is an hour in, Rex is sitting naked next to Mark on the couch, Vivien still in her day clothes.  They are all laughing.  No bath, no teeth brushed.

Me: “What the hell?”  I turn the movie off.  I scold my husband.  It’s a school night, you played a movie the other night, I told you, movies are for weekends only, blah blah.  Yes, I sound like a harpy, but a harpy in the right.

“Do I have to get a sitter for you too?”  He just looked kind of sheepish.  As I got Vivien in her nightgown she was trying to take the heat for her dad.  While I could hear him throwing Rex on the bed and laughing.  Sure, it’s great he is a nice father, but time to calm the toddler down now.  He should go to bed before midnight!   I was so steamed I didn’t speak to  Mark for the rest of the night.  Granted the rest of my night was reading three stories to Rex and falling asleep with him, but there you have it.   I should have watched THIS video before I went out.

This ensures I will never get divorced because if I do my kids will be up all night eating donuts on nights with dad.

Apparently, corporate bonds and big muni bonds are still good.