Laurie Kilmartin and performed the same night for cafe mom studios. I have been negligent in posting her act. Funny and a great joke in there for an intactivist like me. Since I’m an older mom as well her act resonates with me. Enjoy!
So ironic that this episode should post today.
Last night I went to a financial seminar. Not setting my hair on fire, but listening to an economist. Here I was taking notes for my dear husband who was home with the kids. It was an engaging little lecture about how the European financial issues are playing out and how they could affect us in the US ( in summary, if it were 14 years ago, a lot, but we have a lot of different trading partners, so not so much). Also, the economist said something about the bogus term “Fiscal cliff” to which I blurted out, “I just blogged about this!”.
Anyway, since Mark is now home at night for the first time in our entire marriage I knew I had to school him about our routines.I didn’t know I had to worry about him being a man child.
Yes, this video is about when you go out of town or out ON the town and leave the kids with the old man. But, lately I’ve gone out twice for two hours and it was LORD OF THE FLIES when I got back.
I got home..9:00pm All lights are on in the house blazing, “Ghostbusters” is an hour in, Rex is sitting naked next to Mark on the couch, Vivien still in her day clothes. They are all laughing. No bath, no teeth brushed.
Me: “What the hell?” I turn the movie off. I scold my husband. It’s a school night, you played a movie the other night, I told you, movies are for weekends only, blah blah. Yes, I sound like a harpy, but a harpy in the right.
“Do I have to get a sitter for you too?” He just looked kind of sheepish. As I got Vivien in her nightgown she was trying to take the heat for her dad. While I could hear him throwing Rex on the bed and laughing. Sure, it’s great he is a nice father, but time to calm the toddler down now. He should go to bed before midnight! I was so steamed I didn’t speak to Mark for the rest of the night. Granted the rest of my night was reading three stories to Rex and falling asleep with him, but there you have it. I should have watched THIS video before I went out.
This ensures I will never get divorced because if I do my kids will be up all night eating donuts on nights with dad.
Apparently, corporate bonds and big muni bonds are still good.
I just got word that a dear friend is having her first baby. I wanted to send her the link to my wildly popular video about what being a NEW mom is really like, but it didn’t make the move from the old site. So, I’m posting it again.
You can get a new mom swaddling blankets and Boppys. I’m giving her the TRUTH.
Tell me what I LEFT out.
Wow, this lady is a hot mess. Oh wait, I’m the hot mess.
When a mom is NOT needed all the time what defines her time? I had coffee with a friend yesterday, just to catch up. It was last minute. It felt like the ’90′s. However, I have not found my stride in my freelancing, housewife, mom, help my husband with his work life. It’s all a bit…fuzzy right now. My brain with it. Or maybe that’s because I’ve been drinking at Campanile while it’s still open ( 6 days to the close).
How did you handle it when your kids were in school?
IT’S FINALLY HERE! I’ve gestated and now I’ve given birth to the funniest webisode I’ve ever done and the funniest video I’ve done since “Moms with Scarves.” This is the first of 8 episodes with Cafe Mom Studios for the NEW series “How To Be a Mom”. I’m really proud of it and it was so great to work with a creative team after shooting, editing, feeding all by myself all year.
PLEASE watch, Please SUBSCRIBE to cafemomstudios on youtube to see them all ( and so I can do more).
My friend Sarah Maizes ( “professional writer, amateur mom” lol) guest stars as all the annoying parents that cross my path. Per usual, I couldn’t have done this without my kids, Vivien and Rex!
ENJOY and let me know what you think.
Sometimes it pays off to do a search of yourself on youtube. I just stumbled across this interview I did years ago. It was pre Rex because I have shorter hair and I was a size smaller. Done in NYC I’ve never seen it. Kind of fun. Enjoy
It makes me cringe when I hear “Moms have the hardest job in the world.” No, not people like me with healthy kids. However, parents with kids with severe disabilities, now that is tough ( and people taking care of elderly as well). A kid throwing a tantrum is annoying. Having a child who will never live independently is crushing.
A mom friend who has three children, one of whom is severely disabled made this video. It’s really lovely and meant to inspire parents who have the toughest job. But, the words the hold up in pictures they sent to her are inspiring to anyone who has just had the hand of fate slap them hard across the face.
Please watch.
In other of Father’s day I pay tribute to a unique aspect of fatherhood: the jokes.
Oh, poor dads. Under appreciated and the recipients of many eye rolls. But, c’mon they can bring it on themselves. Not remembering the names of their kids friends, being five years behind on what the kids like (“I got tickets to see The Wiggles? What don’t 9 year olds like the Wiggles?”). Hardest of all for me to take is the sense of humor. From my dad’s generations, to my lovely husband dad humor would get them the hook at a comedy club. Their hacks.
So, where can a dad perform?
What are the forehead ( not knee) slappers in your house?
Happy Father’s day
Woah, Nelly! I just got one the nastiest comments ever. Oddly it was written in regards to a post I did in 2008 about people being pissy about kids on planes.
here is the comment:
Y’all need to shut your little shit babies up. They’re not adorable, they’re annoying. You’re not any better than anyone else for breeding. Have respect for the people around you or get an abortion.
My guess is “Jiz” is a nom de plume. Probably closer to what this person should have been spending his or her time doing at 12:46 am instead of drunk googling. Obviously here is a person who knows a lot about “respect for people”.
Some days it’s hard to know who is the target of more anger: moms, sexy women or teachers.
Oh that’s right the hatred is for kids. Watch out people, the intolerance for people at different stages of their lives is only going to grow. I hope grandma isn’t thrown off a plane next.
Are people getting more cranky?
This is one big reunion for me.It’s been a long time since I was on Momversation ( or as I think of it the more successful spin off of coolmom) Recently Momversation retooled and became a mega site, more like a magazine if you will. With different channels of programming. One channel is still bloggers talking like Old Momversation. So that is reunion number 1.
They are doing some stuff with Ricki Lake as a tie in with her new show. I haven’t seen the new incarnation, but I use to be the token white comic on the last season of her old show and loved doing it. I would get flown to NYC, jump up and say one or two jokes and then get residual checks. Very sorry when she decided to not continure the show. Ricki was a nice lady. We got on well and I saw her some socially in LA after that since I knew a guy she was dating at the time. I wish her well in her new marriage and show. That is reunion number 2.
When Momversation started out and was helmed by dear friend Rob Morheim ( now producing a morning show in Chicago) one of the original panelist was Karen Walrond of Chookooloonks. Karen is one of my virtual friends. I have never met her in the flesh, but felt like I had. I always enjoyed when we would versate on momversation. Prior to doing this video we spoke on the phone for about a half an hour. I adore here. She is so much fun. I hope to finally meet her at the Evo conference this July. Reunion number 3.
I hope in the future if RIcki does more of these she doesn’t film the intro on her set. She is warmer than that kind of staged setting delivers up. But, if she keeps it up fine, but I would like that pro lighting as well!